Im really digging the new trend of "getting good at being unemployed" ive finally found my fucking people

Peeling lox off of deli paper is like peeling back super wet panties to me

I think one full quart of Vietnamese coffee would fix me

Guy who is mentally well: i should play fear and hunger again

2026 is starting off so strong I dont even know where to begin. This fucking sucks.

Actually - I can still live my life to the fullest without feeling the need to go camping up a mountain.

Officer.. dear, I wasn’t speeding, I was facetiming (fiercely)

Another murder case solved. Well.. I didn't find the real killer. I blamed a random person. But it's in the solved pile nonetheless.

Sending my men on a pizza quest bc i cant be asked tonight

I know its time to take a shower when he starts to breathe in deep during hugs

I would delete tumblr if not for my horse mutual who doesnt waste any brass tax she just sends me horsie photos and updates once a week on what their family is doing with the horsies and its fucking awesome

What I have done or thought about sexually has nothing to do with whether or not I am gay. If anything, I am so comfortable as a heterosexual cisgender man, that I’m willing to do things that would likely threaten a more insecure man’s fragile masculinity.

One of my favorite albums of all time is so hard to recommend bc its like. Hey man. Do you want to listen to an hour long feminist harp piece sung by a woman who brays like a donkey? Yes all of these stories WILL be told by metaphors I can give you hints but you have to interpret it yourself 🥰🙏

Keep opening the front door expecting the weed we ordered to roll up like a can of chef boyardee

2026年あけましておめでとうございます。今年もよろしくお願いいたします。

Will you still love me when I'm no longer young and beautiful? #forsaken #nilbogocs #worldofwarcraft

If I had a nickel for every time a housemate projected their mommy issues on me id have 3 nickels. I'd like to know where all these goddamn nickels are coming from.

Oh ! I understand now ! The moment it it gets above 60 degrees i dont want to die anymore very cool !

I saw a mouse under the back step one time and now im convinced one is going to dive into one of the holes in my crocs and administer mouse bites

There is some sort of boy stink miasma coming from upstairs but for the fucking life of me I cant find it. I keep cleaning and cleaning and laundry and still every fucking time I get out of the shower it hits me like a wall so strong it makes me gag WHERE IS IT COMING FROM

Alt f4'd out of monhun last night but we're so back baby rise and grind

My mom sent me home with an "Italian buttercream" cake (it has pecans and shredded coconut?) And idk how she fucking managed to make the cake both stodgy, dense and dry and the same time 😭

We used to be a nation of leather daddies and now youre all neoprene nepo babies

Gonna manifest a pet tarantula in 2026

I have another tarantula for you

Killed 7 rajangs for one fucking beast gem nevermind monster hunter sucks

Im so fixated on monster hunter rise rn why did I only play 50 hours and quit when it came out this shit rocks all my favorite monsters are here

Monster hunter and soulsborne games are literally the exact same games and yet monhun is initiative and empowering to me. Soulsborne games make me want to Travis the chimp someone. I would genuinely have more fun if soulsborne was more like a boss fight with EVERY encounter

I dont mean to be a bitch but Larian studios were not good writers or very creative in the first place let's make that very clear

I love when people draw ms piggy with sharp little tusks

Look at me. Go to your local Asian grocery store and get a pack of kombu its dirt cheap. Break a square off and put it in your rice cooker before cooking. Pinch of dashi stock. Splash of soy sauce and mirin. Cook. Make sure to get nice rice too, sushi grade. Youre welcome.

If I had a nickel for every het fem furry artist on my dash today that had to calmly tell their gay audience its not nice to say youll steal her man and cuck her id have like 3 nickels which isnt a lot but why 3 at the same time

Since Polygon is leaving it out of the headline: Epic Games partnered with The Game Awards to put money into the pocket of a bigot who uses her wealth to further the genocide of trans people through lawsuits and legislation. Every 'free' game gives money directly to JKR, and they are complicit.

My days are painted with troubleshooting what solaire wants so he stops whining

I am working with a team of scientists on creating a cigarette flavored low fat yogurt.

Nevermind wow housing is tedious and bad and I hate it

I saw my irl bestie today for the first time in months while she was at work and she offered to give me the key to her house so I could visit her cat too lol

so insanely fucking real for this

Every time I tweet im always worried that itll be misinterpreted to put me in the worst light possible to one specific person and it CERTAINLY has not helped the The Compulsions

"I spend all my online time posting screenshots of artists that I think are YUCKY to warn my community (make fun of someone) and when I ask for evidence I just get harassment :((" girl my sympathy is strained lmao. You accused a black trans man of being a pedophile for no reason?

I need to take a fat edible and look at wow housing soon

I like whatever is wrong with my algorithm over there

Its not fair 😭 my best friend in the whole world who is like a brother to me is also stupid crazy insanely hot and this his boyfriend has the gall to be hot too?!?!? 😭 I cant ever hang out with them in person people will think im their little man servant

Had a rambat go so poorly in showdown I legitimately considered making a new account to surf on until I felt better. Bronzong is a bullshit pokemon.

Doing Very Excellent No One Check On Me I'm Fine For Real

Last repost: you have no fucking idea how many horror games ive played where it becomes obvious the straight male dev is mad at women for not providing free pussy

I don't consider "it's gay" to necessarily be a selling point, but I've played enough surrealist indie games where the narrative turns out to be a strained allegory for the straight male developer breaking up with his girlfriend that at this point I get redflagged by even a whiff of heterosexuality.

My guinea pig 🐹 gf asking me for a hit off the bong: lemme get a wheek of that brother