Let’s put some BROCCOLI on that PLATE!!!

Homie Melon is the next big thing

Who needs friends when you’ve got… HOMIE MELON!!!

“Bits” do not just come out of thin air, they require a fertile mind garden to sprout from the stillness of inner peace, which cannot be disrupted

Sometimes I see a biker, pedestrian, or motorcyclist and the Grand Theft Auto instincts kick in

So hard to pick

Weekend baby!!!

Golden Goober is stupid. Don’t know what I was thinking

I could no longer in good couscous use Twitter

The Golden Goober!!!

Is the creosote bush, the “GOAT” bush? 🤔

What if the Joker was on the Titanic?

Should I go on Twitter or Blue Sky = Should I be shot or hanged

"A latent, low-level narcissist." So not a narcissist?

Hi blue sky I’m Alan! Not Dan hentschel

I choose freedom.

To be groovy - is a gift

What I have done or thought about sexually has nothing to do with whether or not I am gay. If anything, I am so comfortable as a heterosexual cisgender man, that I’m willing to do things that would likely threaten a more insecure man’s fragile masculinity.

I am aware of the situation.

Every comedian has at some point thought about killing a person, or committing a terrorist attack, as a shortcut to fame. But we don't. Because that's the easy way. We saddle up, and we forge our own path with the power of our ideas.

Hey all this is Eddie. I am so confused honestly and I am really regretting working here

Dan had a ton of these that went unused. I’m not nearly as funny as him, so I won’t even try. Maybe something like “When Janey forgets the prune juice from the store!” -Eddie

Hey everybody, we’ve been discussing internally whether or not Blue Sky sucks and if maintaining an account on here is a useless waste of time. The consensus seems to be, we’ll keep it around, and use it as sort of a “dumping ground” for garbage

Beautiful service for a beautiful guy!

I hate being a [OCCUPATION]

Bald Man Screaming

Old person, saying something off color and irreverent

Anyone different from me, should be killed!

Cocky want 口&エｉ7ｎ彑ｇ 14もｂ口ｏ工ｉ刀ム

Imagine a future where this is your wife!

Thanks to AI, death is now no different than getting a new iPhone.

An old picture of Dan’s we circled back on quite a bit. Could never quite crack it. -EDDIE

Fuck yes baby you’re so hot

We have a lot of updates about Dan’s condition but are workshopping how we can best package them content-wise to make sure we get as many eyeballs as possible!

Hey y’all, just wanted to say Addie has been so great throughout this entire process. She has been texting me every day if there’s anything she can do for me while I’m at the hospital with Dan. People have been giving her a hard time back on X, but she has been a rockstar. -EDDIE

“How can Dan consent if he’s in a coma?” Our AI has been trained so thoroughly on Dan’s content, journals, & therapy notes, that it is functionally him. By proving in court our AI will make the same choice as Dan 99% of the time, it can function as his legal consent for document signing, etc.

While Dan Hentschel is in a coma, we will continue to provide his content thanks to the generative AI model developed by COCKY WANT BOING BOING INTELLIGENCE SYSTEMS. See for yourself with the first ever completely 100% AI generated Dan Hentschel video: youtu.be/XcRm_FJjo4E

Hello all! We have incredibly exciting news. While Dan is in a coma, we have developed an AI model trained on all of Dan's content that is capable of replicating it exactly. It can do text, photo, video-- everything. You will likely not even notice he is gone.

I just graduated in the spring and started working for Dan in June making $10 an hour. Is this good for an entry level social media manager in Los Angeles? I know I am lucky to even have a creative job at all so I'm not complaining, just curious what others make! -EDDIE

I have rewatched the video of Dan choking over and over. He would want us to laugh. He would want us to share. He would want it to go viral. That’s why, when faced with what he likely thought was his death, he chose to open the camera app— not the phone.

Also I have received some pushback regarding our decision to post the video of him choking. Dan’s rule with medical emergencies was always: film first, help second.

To be honest, it is kind of a relief that Dan is in a coma. I always feel like I am disappointing him, or not doing a good enough job. But, I should be grateful— a lot of people would kill to be in my position.

I have spoken with Dan’s doctor briefly, but because of my struggles with autism I cannot tell if the doctor seems hopeful or pessimistic about his chances of recovery. I will keep you updated if anything changes. -EDDIE

Hey everybody this is Eddie, Dan’s social media manager. Thanks for your well wishes. Dan is in the hospital recovering from the “epi-sode” (Epi pen episode). Dan has a severe peanut allergy and normally keeps an epi pen in the glove compartment, but unfortunately it was not there at the time.