Woke up in a foul mood, so I ran out for breakfast and continued on my quest to hit the high notes in Defying Gravity. Feeling marginally better. No good deed goes unpunished.

Pediatrician: do you have a screen time policy at home? Me: oh no, I love screens

Elika nahmen nahmen Ah tum ah tum elika nahmen

Give a man a fish and someone with a thousand fishes is going to bitch about people getting free handouts. Teach a man to fish? Yeah, that person with a thousand fishes is going to bitch about that too.

Does anybody on here wear ring braces on their fingers for hypermobility?

I want to do a family feud style thing. Please reply with the first Greek God that you think of. Please reskeet for increased sample size.

Truly outrageous

I love Gen Z loving the music I loved when I was a young Millennial, but when I loved it, it made me a dork.

I can't get it to work on either browser I tried. 😭

Fucking hell. They thought they were making it better by removing the word "Liberal," but they actually made it worse. It went from an indictment of "woke" to an indictment of half the population.

10/10 take. No notes.

My kid's next unit in world history is revolutions. 😍

People say I'm jealous, but my kink is karma.

Hi, I feel like I'm losing my mind. I just saw this T-shirt design at Five Below. Is this not riffing on the Marlboro brand? The peak in pink instead of red? The same font? Riding a horse?

BREAKING: JUSTICE DEPARTMENT EATS A LOSS IN 'SANDWICH GUY' CASE AS JURORS FIND DEFENDANT NOT GUILTY www.nbcnews.com/politics/jus...

👀

More people have died in ICE custody in last 9 months than in the entire prior 4 years. We hear of a few, but most barely make the news. Cases like Randall Alberto Gamboa Esquivel. He was in perfect health when ICE detained him. He disappeared in June & by August was in a vegetative state.

Is there anything more frustrating than wanting to change and not knowing where to start?

If the presence of a woman in your workplace is a problem for you, I would argue it is you who is ruining the workplace.

So deeply weird.

As I'm sitting here drinking my coffee, listening to the crows and the grackles fight over turf.

People really need to get away from the weird paternalistic notion that other users are children who need to be forced to eat their discourse vegetables. Some people are just here for cat pics and talking about TV shows, and that’s just as valid as Here! For! Discourse!

End elder abuse.

Mike Johnson: ‘My Christian Faith Is More About Not Jacking Off Than Feeding The Poor’

Me: This is what people are burning down the climate for--so they can AI chat with "sloppy mustard man." Spouse: Listen, we don't kink shame in this house. 14yo: No, for that we do.

Why am I still awake? My body should think it's an hour later. Stupid hyperfocus.

Ain't this the truth. Hearing this from professors before I was diagnosed definitely encouraged me NOT to ask for accommodations.

Rewatching Stranger Things to prepare for the final season, and this time we're watching with our D&D-obsessed teen. We just got to my favorite season. 😁

The Good Samaritan, by Joseph Highmore, 1744, 📸 by @patricksmith04

Wouldn't be Halloween if I wasn't having a meltdown finishing my kid's costume while he's at school. 🙃

Look at this little asshole. (I won't let her in the basement.)

I can hear this in their voices. 🤣

It's really shitty. I started a fundraiser for my local food bank through Facebook and pledged to match the donations, and despite posting it three times, it's not getting any traction. I suspect the algorithm is to blame.

Change one letter. Ruin a candy. Nards

Ok, this made me laugh.

"When I began saying 'I’m autistic& disabled' something shifted. I stopped apologizing for my limits& started protecting my capacity. I stopped pretending my energy was endless& started recognizing it as finite, sacred& worth conserving." @lovettejallow.bsky.social: open.substack.com/pub/lovettej...

tossing a food bank a couple bucks won’t turn SNAP on. but you personally can’t turn SNAP on, and you maybe can toss a food bank a couple bucks.

Measles was declared eliminated in the United States in 2000. RFK Jr. must resign.

Had my college scholarship class 20-year reunion last night. Woke up with a raging headache. I had one beer and was only out until 11:30, but I slept on my neck wrong. 🥲

If you have it please donate cash to the food banks. $10 in their hands will feed more people than the $10 worth of canned goods you can buy for retail prices. Also check on your elders. Many of them will not admit they rely on these programs so grocery gift cards or a surprise bag of staples

This was beautiful.

If companies have enough money to donate to Trump's ballroom, they have enough money to pay more taxes.