I was going on 3 yeara of never having to hear another presidential election result and you guys are gonna make me lose my chip

Swear I saw two hell posts being like "Tesla is the highest vehicle manufacturer in the world" and "I don't know where society would be with Elon Musk" and I truly don't know how to cope Shared reality broke years ago, but that was usually "why" and not "what". There's no agreed-on "what"s now

I think we can agree in these narrow, sheltered alleyways of the internet, even knowing it was 1/3 the length, still too long & Not Enough Walz will be my take-aways from this campaign.

'Haha yah based chad western civ making white birthrates and silcon valley go up. Wimpy cuck commies helicopter ride, you have 3 mo.s lol' Get Fucked 'Wah! They're stealing our penises! They killed cyber futurism! They made me eat bug and stomp on my little balls! Please someone, help my balls!'

Squirrels whirling around a trunk under the browning kudzu is gives Cronenbergian energy I can't explain

In 80,000 models between "who gets a limb mutilated by their debt-holders first", Nate Silver takes it over Elon 40,021 times

Okay, I'll take the six pack filled with beer I guess I mean what the fuck are you talking about man

I mean, the funniest possible outcome is Harris wins and he dies attempting to usurp it - forcing Vance to lead all the planned state shenanigans

I find it deeply irritating how, apart from Selzer herself, pollsters/aggregators/pundits generally portray polls as The Objective Truth Down To 0.1% then respond to the slightest hint of criticism about their methods with "ackshully polls are worthless, reality is fundamentally unknowable."

I just killed Peanut the Squirrel again 😃👍

Hashtag DrainTheSwampTheVoteForPeanut2024

Major newsdesk: To maintain parity, we kept following conservative lines of thinking wherever they go, assuming viewers already had a semblance of leftist ideology. When that line goes to quackery, we clean it up. Our bosses are shouting "keep going" but how do we sanitize "squirrel pornographer"?

Platonic Ideal of Rage Bait. Fake victimhood, smug superiority, acting like twitter is real life and doubling-down on dead-ender ideology 5/5 dunks, would QT again

Any advice for someone viscerally repulsed by seeing a clock with 6 am as you get ready for work? Not that I'm up that early, just that it's aesthetically displeasing

Honestly hoped the Dems closing message included shout outs to Commander bites

The bad news about Twitter is that it's absolutely unsearchable, completely in the bag for fascists, and full of crypto-brained teens slowly radicalizing themselves But the good news is when you do read a post you like, under it are 40-80 replies missing the point making you regret clicking it

I mean, the funniest possible outcome is Harris wins and he dies attempting to usurp it - forcing Vance to lead all the planned state shenanigans

Not in the bag, but very funny to make this complaint about the most milquetoast "think of your children's future when you vote" ad. Like, yes voting for Trump is objectively an evil act by taking what their campaign platform is literally. That's absolutley nowhere *near* the message the ad evokes

as a chicagoan this will never get old bears.com

It's either 11 o'clock or 1 o'clock, I don't fucking know. It's definitely not 12 o'clock, though, even if that's what I thought up until "Time Change" started trending on the tl

How wrong, truly, were the final metrics in 2016 to cause this result? Depressed Dem turnout + disenfranchisement pushed a lot of it to the brink, but everyone knows that a bug in the EC won that election. Did pollsters themselves invent a silent popular conservative front?

Imagine this being your most revealing political moment, only to have consultants spend 2 decades insisting "NO! 1992 is the template, we can never go back to Obama!" Boomer generational myths have ruined our movement, and parasitized our generational coming-of-age

All the election post-gaming is about Dobbs this and Liz Cheney that. I want to talk about sonnestrahd groyper fuck ups. The asshole Dems who shamed progressives over denouncing Shapiro's IDF ties. The "referendum on Trump's innocence" folks in 3 months in when they *still* haven't sentenced him

When I'm in tabletop forums writing diatribes about "maybe gaming media has given you unrealistic expectations", that's probably a sign I've had too much coffee

Even if they identify as liberal Democrats and don't believe they like Trump, the people who call shots in newsrooms hold as a matter of settled fact that All That 2020 Stuff Went Too Far and they consider some amount of reactionary politics a needed rebalancing and just deserts for the wokes

Getting into a discrimination suit after my druid-ass was rejected. "Innate nor natural magic need not apply. Find your own circle" what the fuck, how is that legal in 859 p.s.s.???

Once more, I see national pundits simply befuddled trying to explain the swing in their #s by triangulation theory and not finding the column space for Trump making weird sex gestures at rallies Maybe on a their next Trump Voter Safari they'll see how insular and incestuous their industry's become

'Bout to be a horror grump, but not only is Lucky McKee's THE WOMAN a better version of BARBARIAN, it also would be a better movie to be titled that

Been having a rough go at Cinematrix as of late, but getting a <1% today for all past-and-future Blank Check directors feels like a huge win

Bad news, folks. The Zoomers have lumped the worst episodes ever made into "The Golden Era"

Take me there, amigo

Pulling into the 2024 election with the energy of a "I should probably just kill myself, like youd even care" teenager

Beyond this incredibly precient dunk, isn't the internals showing PAs far ahead in early D voters than national average? Yeah Chris, why would they pick the cheerful Midwest Dad when they seem to intentionally wanna tank Michigan?

Negative polarization in campaign texts should be studied

Time to balance the scales in terms of threats to democracy? Armed men entering capitol buildings = expressing First Amendment rights Cracking down on people protesting extra judicial murder = crowd control Extra judicidal murder = doing their jobs Crusr Punk Anarchist camp = RED OCTOBER 2

Today is the Over The Garden Wall day. Sorry to everyone who jumped the gun, guess I'm just built different

Got this dumb shit for a state I don't live in & a party I don't vote for, pretending like Gaza doesn't exist again Also, anyone think it's weird how "disenfranchisement" is treated like a 4-letter word only sore losers use and not, like, the Rs entire stated justifaction for their minority rule?

How far are we from the 1 year anniversary of the Corporate Memphis corpse ejaculators video released by Israel on their instagram?

I hope all the editors making the "garbage island" clap-back the story instead of the initial insult find their soul in the bottom of a hole

Wild to Reskeet this every two weeks about a new thing. It's like living in a perpetual hell of institutional failure bsky.app/profile/reve...

"Insulting half the country" none of you are half shit. Even the turds who blindly vote R every 3 weeks when a ballot shows up in their nursing home represent, like, a 1/4 of eligible voters. There's zero reason to give any oxygen to rightwing greviences. It's worms who punch your seatback and cry

I can't wait til the election is over so we can stop talking about the most important election of our lives and start talking about the next most important election of our lives and then we'll just keep repeating that until I'm dead

I stg, Trump's campaign is currently carrying the ball out of the back of their own end zone and these people are complaining about a missed flag in the 1st quarter Truly cannot help themselves but to scold

I gotta say, less than a week ago the completely swallowed-up groping scandal had me despairing this was Access Hollywood Tape 2.0 But going into the homestretch with "despite what you hear our ideology doesn't TOTALLY align with Hitlers" is inspired for a race that started w/ black sun groyper ads

When he's right, he's right

this might be the lowkey goat

And why's that? What do they have in common?

Bump a liberal at a concert, and all across the internet, fascists bleed

I know being online & progressive puts you in a perpetual Cassandra state, but it's tormenting how many smart, saavy pundits think the world's going back to normal Nov 6 Like thinking there isn't going to be violence thru-out the winter, or the GOP is going back to runnning Bob Dole types in 2028