When we got married the clerk at the courthouse complimented Tim on his outfit and was like “where’s the bride?!” And I was like…

Liberty leading the people by Delacroix getting an adult content warning 💀 Clutch the pearls harder lmao

The Pride 2026 Vibe 😏💅🏻

*me today sitting in the parking lot at the hockey rink for an RV show* *guy getting his beer league equipment out of the truck with wheels* "If you can't carry your bag into the rink you really shouldn't be playing hockey, bud.... oh good he carried it..."

I work in public education and have to be prepared and know what to do in every classroom I’m in if there is an active shooter. I don’t have secret service or my cosplay swat team on standby for the photo op. Talk to me about trauma when you have to go through active shooter training. ✌️

Spring brunch menus:

I’m reading philosophy instructor applications and someone’s dissertation abstract just made me make this face in public at a coffee shop…

students taking final exam… very quiet. One starts coughing. She goes to grab her water and it’s the noisiest bottle ever “This is humbling. I’m so sorry” 💀🤣

Hey so… if you don’t actually want to sell your shit, maybe don’t list it for sale? Getting ghosted worse on marketplace than by dl tops on the apps* *this is a joke since my last joke about my face left containment and hit a weird part of the internet 🫩

I’m adding my students poster titles to the program for our research symposium and I love getting to add “Judging Right and Wrong: An Analysis of r/AmITheAsshole” before a poster about coral reefs 🤣

yes it’s true I’m coming out as a former band kid Former? Still. 🫣 Hubs and I after we won state senior year of high school and doing media for state finals 20+ years later 😅 (full uniform pic for added information)

HAAAAAAAAA

Me when a post breaks out of containment and the randoms find it and don’t get my humor

I’m having a tiny psoriasis flair up under my eye. Thoughts and prayers pls during this trying time 😔

Apparently a luke combs (idfk too gay for that) concert means a bunch of girls in cowboy boots, chain belts, and push up bras take over canes. Good for you girls, but I was real confused when we walked in

WSJ readers doing their laundry this summer:

Love having to pay the federal government taxes so they can use it to abuse and kill people and try to take my rights away. Happy tax day, fellow Americans! 🥰

This was listed for sale for $250 as a “yoga/lounge chair” Girl. A yoga chair? SureJan.gif

Look, I love planes as much as the next av gay. But I don’t love them this much…

L’WAFFLE HOUSE

When you see two oomfies replying to each other and you realize… your brain may have made them the same person

👋👋👋

A former student dropped off a loaf of homemade sourdough bread 🥺 I love my job

Boy aquarium in Indy with the besties 🥰 And a KWings W! 🥳@micarebear.bsky.social, @fuzzybison.bsky.social, @accipiter.bsky.social

There’s a reason I’ve never been able to see a therapist—every single office in my region that takes my insurance is religious based or religiously affiliated (or trained at the local Adventist university). I’d have to drive an hour to see an identified LGBTQ therapist.

An office break room story in two acts

Me when I’m not on my phone all day and y’all get up to some bullshit on here

jd vance:

Working on completing social and behavioral research human subjects training modules and 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 (I'm glad this exists and know why it exists - but Christ on a bike and Mary on the handlebars, I'm just interviewing adult students on placement processes)

🫡🫡🫡🫡

Me, not teaching on Friday and no meetings scheduled and my husband and besties all have normal 9-5 jobs

There’s an employee at our Culver’s that’s convinced himself that my name is Chris

“Got a second……?”

Oh. Okay.

I’ll never forgot how years ago, at the other place, I made a post about being exhausted the end of the first week of class for the semester and some random replied with full hog

I have several questions

If I stay still… the Mormons at the front door won’t see me

Me walking in with my Fjällräven backpack. I have a really nice coach soft side briefcase, but I do feel like a kid with it 🫣😅

All of the people that I think are my friends handing me these 😅

Some of you might need help getting off of here…

Lmao someone emailed the aide about class making them uncomfortable today 🤣 Learning happens in discomfort. I’m so sorry we’re reading a Pulitzer Prize winning piece of literature. 💁🏼‍♂️ (Honestly a bit disappointed as it’s the first time I’ve had any of my early college kids act so immature 😒)

Overheard in the hallway after my class: “what am I going to tell my mom I did in class today? Watched two gay guys having sex?” (And it was the cruising scene in Angels in America 💀😅)

I really enjoy the Netflix live action One Piece…

Teaching literature means needing to talk about political context. Making these slides for my Angels in America lecture was… something… 🫩🥴

Sunday scaries at the end of spring break are the worst (Literally no idea what I’m doing in class tomorrow 😅 what a week lol)

Apparently we regularly go to the boy aquarium now (they were feisty tonight - fighting during warm ups 😅)

It might be because I have zero paternal instinct over humans, but “junior” versions of reality shows give me the ick

The jump scare of getting a friend suggestion that’s a mustachioed daddy and then seeing it’s a former friend that made your life hell in college and is why you turned down a walk-on spot on your university’s national championship winning forensics team

Literally me all day today at every minor thing. Trying again tomorrow! 🙃