Driving to Cleveland for a work conference - my have girl dinnered too close to the sun at the toll road 7/11 with the charging station 🥴😅

::two of my coworkers walking side by side in the hallway and I come up behind them:: “Oh, Sean’s in a hurry” “No… I’m just gay. I walk fast”

This social media image using a picture of Madonna with a headline about trans folks in scouts sent me 🤣 - did someone just google image search “cunty Boy Scout” and was like “yeah… that’s the pic…”

Forgot how much I love the “saved by the bell hooks” insta

Seeing the schools my letter of recommendation is being used for is intimidating and makes me so incredibly proud. 🥹 🤞 (I had him doing independent graduate level work as a freshman - any of these schools should be honored to have him)

Went to a speaker event on campus - part to support the colleagues putting it on and also free lunch. The lunch is yellow gloopy glorp

Acela to Philly (not the one we were scheduled on because it was canceled), uber to the airport, now on our flight to Detroit. Just a connection in Detroit and we will be home 🥴 (this honestly could have been so much worse)

Wasn’t expecting to wake up, in a snowstorm in New York, to a notification that morning classes were canceled for weather back home 🥴😅

So our flight home from New York Tuesday was already preemptively canceled, so now we’re taking the train Tuesday morning to Philly and flying home from there. Watch this space as @micarebear.bsky.social and I reenact a John Hughes classic film

::while buying tickets to see Chess:: “…did they tell you Lia Michelle isn’t appearing today?” @micarebear.bsky.social “…that’s a selling point actually…” 💀🤣

I spend too much time considering others, but literally no one does the same for me. Need to stop ✋

I came across a video from the Carnevale di Venezia of a Chihuahua with a flawless powdered wig install and it made my whole day. A diva.

This year for Lent I am giving up

The adhd hyper focus train and my to do list are moving in the same direction today! Call me butter cuz I’m on a roll 🧈🥐

The Senior Citizen Specials:

If I ever get in a car accident, I really hope to god my audiobook stops playing

Started watching the movie today in my HS class and all of my senior girls were like “….damn… 👀” 🤣🤣🤣 You’re welcome girls, gays, and theys. I teach the children the important things. (And also that Stella needs to not be horny for 5 minutes and realize her husband is abusive)

A banger not in English? Have you seen my play list, mama? It’s basically all not in English 🫣😅 Anyway, have one of many

I have no idea why I love teaching A Streetcar Named Desire so much… 🤔

Monday.

A colleague that I know for a fact fucked a student in a bathroom on campus just sent me a sassy email reply… don’t test me (College student and he’s not faculty or admin. So no power dynamic. Just a wasteland of grey area)

Saw an incredibly bad take about Hunter Hess (skier that spoke out about his mixed emotions being a US athlete). Went into the account and Zionist and HP house in bio? How tf am I following you?

Without naming your job, tell me something you say over and over again at work. “Where’s your references page? You need to double check apa format.”

Okay girl 💅🏻

I love this Sabrina Impacciatore segment in the opening ceremony and that it included the song Prisencolinensinainciusol

Please tell me why I just got an ad for a car CD player??? How on Lady Gaga’s Earth am I old enough to have gone from using the magic tape deck adapter to use my Discman in my car… to now have gone full circle

I think I love The Traitors so much because it’s 100% high camp. (And I spent many a class in college playing mafia because I was a theater major 😅)

Girl why are you dressed like Santa?

Today, my literature class made masks while watching “Good Person of Setzuan” so we could talk about about the Brechtian concepts of Spass, Gestus, and Verfremdungseffekt 😌

People want to hate gay marriage and we’re just two men farting in our house

What’s the point of owning a Porsche if you’re going to go 55 in a 70 and merge onto the freeway so slow I’m not sure how you didn’t cause an accident

Hi. I’m the weird writing prof that does design thinking exercises with Lego in class 😅

Any oomfies watch “School Spirits” - and if not, why not?!? God I love this show

The kids have decided that the system is rigged against good people and systemic change is required (This is why humanities classes are important - they got this from analyzing a play written in 1943)

No new pictures. Where are you at mentally?

Topic of conversation in my literature class today: can a person truly be “good” in an economic system that rewards “bad” behavior? (Reading Brecht - Good Person of Setzuan lol)

Me scanning your skircles knowing I won’t see my face

Man Crush Monday, but where you nominate a toxic man to throw in a car crusher

If you google “Groundhog Day” Google is like “did you mean Groundhog Day?” And if you click the link, it reopens the page 😭 (I only know this because I’m a millennial professor and needed a Bill Murray gif for my online class weekly announcement 😅)

Have I dunked my dick my dick in a glass of milk before? Yes. Yes I have. 🥲

“Fancy cupcakes” are just socially acceptable vehicles to eat a gallon of meh buttercream frosting on a dry hunk of cake. And cake pops are trash 🚮

🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻 Obsessed

Watching a bootleg YouTube vid of the first heat of Mello and I’m randomly translating things from Swedish for @micarebear.bsky.social and teaching him how to hear the Stockholm accent 😅

Nevermind the jobs you had, tell me five classes you took in college: Modern English Grammar Oral Interpretation of Children’s Literature New Literacies, Technologies, and Cultures of Writing Cultural Contests in the Making of America The Many Moods of Romeo and Juliet

Hurt my own feelings earlier this afternoon before a meeting and listened to “A Kiss at the End of the Rainbow” from A Mighty Wind. Crying the office ✌️😭

If you live as long as your name is spoken… this one could live forever. 💔

So many, but I have to pull out “If you Could Read My Mind” because there is zero reason a disco cover of a Gordon Lightfoot song should go this hard