Hey guys! New work tip. Don’t wanna do something? “That’s out of scope.” Follow for more advice

I saw Goody Proctor stanky leg with the devil.

What are all yalls favorite spooky pop songs?

We don’t have a full length mirror and I pose like dumb dumb

Agatha Harkness on the witches road costume thoughts?

What dress size am I?

Building does trick/treat for work children each yr. We decorate office suite; team deciding between Minecraft or Halloween Disco (“murder on the dance floor”). Last I knew the blockheads were favoring the block heads and that’s a real shame.

Deleted my noods; literally showing my most vulnerable bits and there hasn’t been enough recognition to make it worth it.

Every single mass news media is complicit in the fall of democracy 🙃

The spooky vibe I bring to the function… “Give him head like guillotine Haunted house, I make him scream Trick or treat til he explode Now he got a hallo-ween”

“Ready or not, here I cum!” - me, as soon as anything starts 😮‍💨

Silver sheen, crimson red. One swift move and I am

Y’all I need a fucking hug. I’m on my knees when you’re ready.

Karaoke but we choose “prologue” from “into the woods”

I would come to learn that the advertisement audio law does not currently apply to streaming services: www.politico.com/news/2025/10...

I want to design a tarot deck but I can’t even learn the meanings 🫠

Actin’ a fool out here clapping in the kitchen to kill fruit flies

Hi. I would like to kiss and hug you please.

I got asked by a coworker just now if I’m legally allowed to be married. 🙃 In their defense, they are Asian and may not know much about the topic, but 🫠 I’m bothered.

I like my penis and you should too and if you don’t, you’re missing out.

Grab life* by the balls. *me.

The universe refuses to let me do numbers because it knows how unstoppable I’d be if I had any self-worth

We homo’d a portion of the yard at lunch and got sweat-y

Do you regularly get “talked to” by your boss, or are you neurotypical?

“Where are you rapture? Why can’t I find you?

Jokes’ on everyone. The rapture already happened and we’ve been living in the eternal damnation since 2020.

We all need more hugs.

I have this fantasy of hand-painting decorative front license plates, and being able to change them out for seasons or special events. How cute would little pumpkins or spookies be riding on my jeep? 🎃🎃

When Baby Lasagna said “Rim Tim,” I really wanted to feel that. 👀👀

The baseline to “Romeo” (Dove Cameron) scratches so many brain itches for me 🥰🥰

I miss the time when this was just memes and trading photos with friends 😣

I love balls 🤷🏻‍♂️

That feeling when a little bit of piddle dribbles out 😮‍💨

I’m having an ick and had to come to work. Managed to not throw up yet today, but definitely lots of doodie and headaches.

Two hours rubbing my wood I’m covered in it

All in the same company: mkt mgr : applied, not interviewed IT trainer: applied, interviewed, denied corp comms: expressed interest, not engaged. ass prod mgr: applied, denied interview opp’y Guys, I don’t think my company likes me

It would track the day I’m hrny, y’all are talking politcs 🫠

I think my favorite new hobby this summer has been peeing in the yard 🤭

I DIY’d, now time to die? 🤔

Everyday at work is another reminder how much this place sucks ☺️

I woke up in a tent; first time in a while 😮‍💨

My cankles be hurtin’

Doing dude stuff in the shed

My tummy needs rubs

I saw a car accident happen today. Drivers appeared okay. Certain intersections need stoplights.

When you coming over? Pants off at the door. Cocktails are in the fridge ☺️

When does it get better, Trevor?

My town needs a Portillo’s and a Menards.

Googles: “do funeral potatoes freeze for anytime enjoyment?” Midwesterners gotta be prepared 🤞🤞

Did you fuck the muffin man?