Ok fuck it it’s time to get to the bottom of this.

If they ever invite me to the Criterion Closet I’m bringing my own shit.

The theme music for the NIGHTBANE series was written and performed by Cory Greene, Dan Tanner and Matthew Edon. Recorded at Dan and Matt's respective homes somewhere in deepest, darkest Oregon, and Loud & Clear Studio in Paducah, KY. Mixed by Shelby P. at Loud & Clear.

I was today years old when I learned “sex tape” didn’t mean fucking one of these.

Weird coincidence: I was just thinking the other day, “I wonder what Cobra Commander has Doctor Mindbender and Raptor working on these days.”

The news saying there’s a possibility of quarter sized hail. Pssh. When it gets up to whole sized hail let me know.

Here’s the thing about Wilco. No.

Not saying it’s been the worst day of my life, but I definitely found out the hard way that seagulls are attracted to eyebrow rings.

Keep RFKjr. alive but imprisoned except they let him out to give the benediction at the funerals of the rest of them but also when he makes his noises literal shits come out.

I feel like if Biden had done a funny/inspiring rap he still could’ve won.

Oh that’s it I’m calling my elected official

Visiting Chicago and one thing they never tell you is how there’s so much WIND! Like they should call this place The Town of Much Winds or some such.

A Yautja.

I was afraid of turning 50 because I’ve heard you start losing a little bit of your faculties at this age, but I still remember most of the lyrics to “Rappin’ Duke” so turns out my thinking areas am still best.

Yesterday I saw a haggard old man walking down the road with two huge boxes of Bisquick under his arms. Now I’m thinking he’s doing a Forrest Gump thing but even dumber. That there’s Biscuit Bob. He’d be getting close to Golconda, IL about right now. Go ahead and set that oven to 450.

Rewatching THE MANDALORIAN and while I will never be the type to question Star Wars Science, how is buttock and upper leg armor not prioritized in a culture of jetpack peoples?

Oh that’s it I’m calling my elected official

When I pass from snowballing bad decisions that started from the age of thought, I hope some law person will introduce Cory’s Law that states no one shall post more than 10 times a month, and only 4 people are allowed to read them.

*posting on twitter* oh ho, I’ve made a wry observation. Better make sure a bunch of pedophiles see it

Here I come.

oh brother, another bad post from political influencer beltway brian. i am furious at beltway brian all of the time. i share screencaps of beltway brian's posts with people who have no idea who he is. i hate all of beltway brian's posts and i read all of them every single day, including weekends

Just realized THE BOTH’s record is a Xmas album and there’s nothing @tedleo.bsky.social and @aimeemann.bsky.social can say to dissuade me.

ALL!

I like how they’re trying to cram AI down our throat as this world changing technology that will usher us into a new age and it’s only got one font.

I disagree with everything that happened today.

As a Dead Kennedys fan, if I were an Uber driver in California and had to pick up someone named Alice I would be insufferable.

Not posting is the new posting (@corygreene watermark)

Today I saw a Tesla with a “Punks not dead” sticker and now punk is dead.

Facebook is the Jimmy Fallon of dumb online talking to people shit.

your crazy ass stupid post just fucked up the whole world . hope it was worth the likes. hope youre enjoying the clicks

If I were Andy Griffith I would sue Naughty By Nature for making a song about my son urinating.

Sterling Hayden drawing Sailor Moon

I wish when people farted little colored bubbles would emerge from the seat of your pants like an animated seahorse

Just finished reading the Bible and it was pretty good but I think it should’ve ended with something like “but then god died” or something like that.

Heads up y’all. Meet Peylak, Chieftain of the Wind Traders.

That stain on the seat of my pants? Oh no, I assure you I have not shit myself. I simply sat on something shit-flavored.

One of my favorite things about visiting someone’s house for the first time is one of the first things they do is show you where you can shit.

Stencil my dude on every health insurance company in the country.

Best Sacha Baron Cohen character yet TBH

I’ve reached the age and/or point in my life where if I’m at home and need to pee I will sit down to do so. If a little poop comes out? BONUS.

Seeing this fucker show up on bluesky 5 years after I blocked him on Twitter

Y’all have a big Thanksgiving?

Just saw what appeared to be a family of plainclothes Juggalos.

Ted Cruz slowly licking the side of your face from jawline to hairline. His tongue dry and course like a sick cat’s. He finishes his journey and hops backwards, tittering and clapping like a spider monkey on bathtub crank. Then the burning starts.

“That bitch tryin her best to hate me her whole life, now she’s heard me sing karaoke and wants to be my best friend…” - actual words heard

My 5 year old is pretty cool but my 3 year old is a total piece of shit.

Can we make a quick stop? I need to grab a dreamcatcher decal for my Kia Sorento.