On my way to my firm’s annual retreat in Boca, and I really need It to not Happen until after I get back

DARRYL, POPE LEO XIV’S FRIEND: fuck him up bobby

There it is

Me after getting back to Brooklyn at 4 this morning

Lol our flight now leaves at midnight I hate this state

Jack just booed a stranger who walked past us wearing a Duke shirt. My son 🥰😍

Can’t wait to fly back to NYC tonight before returning to Florida in *checks notes* *squints* 3 days

Ok I am very overstimulated but Epic Universe was really fun

At the universal epic universe park and just ordered a Bloody Mary in Dracula’s castle and it comes with bacon, hot pepper stuffed olives, and charred cheddar arancinis. Now THIS is the happiest place on earth

This is a public proclamation

The perfect man doesn’t exi—

Me watching The Pitt

The Magic Kingdom needs to sell Celsius. Coffee is not enough

@freelarrydoby.bsky.social am I remembering correctly that you raved about Train Dreams? I finally watched it (on the plane to Orlando this am) and am sobbing. What a beautiful movie

Trying to make Joe explain to me how Jesus died the second time and rejecting every answer, happy Easter from your Jewish friends

What if It Happens while I’m in the Mario movie

An old family friend who has gone maga posted this on facebook, she is being totally authentic and sincere, and I cannot stop laughing

Jealous

Spent the last 3 days in LA for work. Took a redeye home last night. Flying to Orlando on Monday. Doing 4 days at Disney, 2 days at Universal. Flying home next Saturday. Flying back to Florida 4 days later for my firm retreat in Boca, where I am running 3 events over the course of 5 days. Will I die

It is impossible for me to hear the phrase “things of that nature” without laughing

Just jaywalked across 6 lanes of traffic in century city. You can take the girl out of New York etc etc

Remarkably easy to tell which people on this flight to LAX live in NY and which live in LA

Update: I take this back and now I very much care

Going to LA tonight for 3 days and if I miss the magnolia tree on my block blooming while I’m gone I’m going to fucking lose it

I don’t care if West and Amanda are hooking up

Today my work cafeteria is serving moules frites and I am considering calling hr on anyone who orders them

Holy mother of god

boozer I hardly know her

As an adult the scariest part of this movie is realizing that a professional cellist living alone can somehow afford a corner penthouse in a doorman building on Central Park West

Using my child’s stomach flu to introduce him to Ghostbusters

Amazing dedication to customer service from our waiter tonight who asked me, in all seriousness, “are you sure you want to leave” after Jack threw up all over the floor of the restaurant

Watching the phantom menace because my kid has recently become obsessed with darth maul and god I forgot how racist this movie is

“Project Hail Mary,” 2026 (dir. Lord, Miller)

I have three trips planned in the next three weeks, so this was not terrible news to wake up to

F*cking brilliant.

So are we all agreed that the live action Moana movie looks like shit

“If I close my eyes I don’t have incontrovertible evidence” - the refs right now

Wahoowomp

WHY ARE THERE SO MANY TENNESSEE FANS IN PHILLY

Everything I have learned about Taylor Frankie Paul has been against my will

SPITE PREVAILS

Dogfish 90 minute and a cheese tray: the Amtrak dinner of champions

My child is in a huge imagine dragons phase, I am already there

Much like LaGuardia Airport, I will never truly accept the fact that Penn Station is no longer a shithole

Filled out my bracket. Yet again my picks are purely based on spite

D with a bullet

It’s the 20th anniversary of the only actual leprechaun sighting on American soil.

The instagram slideshows of what people looked like in the 90s set to the tune of Iris by the Goo Goo Dolls are a specific form of torture devised to annoy me and me alone

THIS IS FOR WALLACE