Kristi Noem: Darling, are you at the World Cup again?

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Costco onions, relish, mustard ... and ketchup.

To elaborate: When I make something, I want there to be something clearly off so nobody takes it as reality. Like 7 years ago with Chance the Snapper, I don't expect Daenerys riding Chance or Chance the Rapinoe to look real. The unclean, ridiculous edges are part of humor that AI slop doesn't get.

Christopher Nolan has released the first song from The Odyssey. The song tells a tale of a traveler avoiding the sirens' song. Set on this peaceful shore, you think you've heard this one before.

Update, @briefslayer.bsky.social: My wife, her bestie, and my kid are all now fans of the Pupusita Express.

So ... the oyster farmer is anti-DEI too? WTF??

Gusto in for France?

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Pitch: "I am reaching out to introduce myself and to express my interest in joining your podcast as a guest. If you do not have a podcast, but know someone who does ..." Wait, do I have a podcast? And nobody ever told me?

Unrelated, @surfdudeken03.bsky.social, I needed @elleb.bsky.social earlier this month when we were in Utah at the Under Canvas tents. Their canvas wasn't taut and kept attacking anyone trying to use the toilets.

Requiem for a Dream (2000)

Bonnie Tyler developed nodules on her vocal chords. She had surgery, and was told to take a six-week break from talking. When she forgot a batch of strawberries and cream on the way to the hospital, she screamed long and loud. Six months later, she recovered. And recorded "It's a Heartache."

Maybe I shouldn't have said h*rny @ngel, @mocena.bsky.social

I'm quoting @indyfromoz.bsky.social because she frames this issue well and she is more than willing to tell me to "f&$k off," which is important in this type of discussion. But, whether stealthing constitutes "sexual assault" and whether it should be criminalized is tougher than it seems. 1/

I spoke to Mitch McConnell for twenty minutes this morning. He said "In the criminal justice system, the people are represented by two separate yet equally important groups: the police, who investigate crimes, and the district attorneys, who prosecute the offenders. These are their stories."

I think every time I make a typo, I'm going to fall to the ground, grab my ankle, scream in pain, and demand a free kick.

Oh, no, Obi, here comes ... THE SWISS ARMY.

Leave Mitch alone, he's just evolving. Takes a lot out of a fella.

Scott Jennings speaking to Mitch McConnell

Nothing wrong with that goal.

If you lose to the USMNT in the quarterfinals or beyond, your country is relegated to the Commonwealth Games. #ObscureFIFArules

Good lord, what have I been peeing on for the last month?

America 250 (goals allowed)

Richards has been a frickin' adventure all match.

Little League home run ass goal.

Philippe Pétain is dead, Graham.

Ketel 2

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Red card for Belgian on Belgian violence.

There's the USMNT we know.

THAT 12TH MAN IS DA CROWD, BRAH!

John Cassavetes' Despicable Me

And @peterorlowicz.bsky.social slept the best sleep of his life ...

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Some soccer shots are less like a shot on goal and more like that wiseass on the tennis court who tries to hit it over the fence.

After this month, there will be eight states I haven't visited. Here's my rankings of excitement: 8. Delaware (why are you so out of the way?) 7. North Dakota (ok, there's 1 National Park) 6-5: Colorado/New Mexico (Four Corners time) 4-3-2: Idaho/Montana/Wyoming (Yellowstone!) 1. Hawai’i (duh)

The FIFA Peace Prize winner is now creating division, disharmony, and strife ... in FIFA.

England's coach 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿

Mexico 🤝 England Give James Corden a Red Card 🟥

This game's comps for the casual sports fan: NHL: Flyers vs. Bruins, 1979 MLB: Red Sox vs. Yankees, 2003 NBA: Any Bad Boys Pistons game NFL: Eagles vs. Santa