Does the punishment fit the crime? No, I don't think so. Has the club got a leg to stand on in complaining about that? Also no. Fucking idiots have brought this on themselves. And us, obviously. #SaintsFC

I think the most shocking thing is that we spied on bottom-three Oxford and still lost. Not entirely sure how Tonda survives? #SaintsFC

It turns out the spy is actually a lot more high-tech and covert than I imagined - he's wearing jeans that are disguised as tree trunks.

That's a fucking penalty. #SaintsFC

Hull shouldn't be allowed to go up, purely on the basis of that 'Mauled by the Tigers' chant.

Marcus Rashford showing why English players really should move abroad to play more often. #elclasico

We're playing like a team determined to prove we've definitely not gained any advantage from spying on the opposition. #SaintsFC

Well, that all turned out nicely, didn't it? #SaintsFC getting the second leg at home, and Fairytale FC missing out completely. Lovely stuff.

I'm glad Peretz has got that out of his system before the play-offs. #SaintsFC

A genuinely in-Seine story.

Mumford and scum, more like.

I fucking love the Championship. #SaintsFC

The Death of Spotify, or why streaming is "minutes away from becoming obsolete"

This is the perfect response to being sent off for a stupid push - make it worthwhile. A literal free hit, if you will (additional suspension/fine notwithstanding, of course).

AI couldn't even hallucinate an intro this good.

So, the big question is whether we're holding our noses and hoping for the skates to at least not lose tonight? #SaintsFC

Well, I guess if Trump does destroy the world tonight then at least we're going out on a high. #SaintsFC

Donnie J. Darko

My son's first birthday party tomorrow morning is going to be difficult. #SaintsFC

Well, that was a lot of fucking fun. #SaintsFC

Even though I'm sure we'd of course be in the top six right now if we still had Bazunu or McCarthy in goal, if there really is a clause in Peretz's loan that £8m makes it permanent, we need to get that money in Bayern's accounts yesterday. #SaintsFC

Well this took a turn www.theguardian.com/uk-news/ng-i...

One of the most batshit games of football ever played somehow finds a way to get even more batshit.

Is that the most important result for #SaintsFC achieved by a member of the Still family this season?

europeans when asked to help unblock the strait of hormuz

If this was said by any other leader, anywhere else in the world, then the tournament wouldn't go ahead in that country.

This very straight news piece buried deep within the FT never uses words like corruption or insider dealing but every detail is quietly devastating. Why is the FT virtually alone in the UK media in covering this important story?

This is hilarious. Also, completely enraging.

holy shit

Those yellow kits are magic, eh? #SaintsFC

Well, that person who wrote this has clearly never been to Weston Shore.

new iconic meme format just dropped www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article...

I really thought this Brendan Rodgers video was AI at first glance, but it turns out he's the only human in existence less realistic than the slop.

Whatever you possibly think this could be, it’s even better. All in the delivery.

Beautifully done.

I didn't think I'd be saying this a few hours ago, but that's a pretty good day of cricket, all in all.

The Netflix Blades of Glory documentary on this Malinin dude is going to be brutal.

It's always the worst people who turn out to have the worst views, isn't it?

Fucking hell. I genuinely can't believe we've done that. #Saintsfc

I don't want to call myself the hero here, but I only switched on at half time. #SaintsFC

I've always said Nepal are a great cricketing nation.

NEW: Mandelson just sent a memo to UK newspapers via the press watchdog demanding they stop publishing his links to Epstein. He cited clauses in the Editors code, designed to protect grieving families. The memo was NOT to be published. The National just said ‘fuck that’ & published it in full 👏

Just had my second meal deal of the day. Don't tell me I haven't got my shit together.

Two entirely comparable MASSIVE BLOWS to England's World Cup preparations here, as told by the Sun. Never mind Jude Bellingham's knackered hamstring, just how will the lads cope without a golf course on the site of their hotel?

Unbelievable support yesterday and great effort by the lads! Hard result to take! But we go again!

So many "good guys with guns" really seem to just want to unload those guns into the nearest person who gets in their way. Shoot first; tell lies later. www.nytimes.com/video/us/100...

Yeah, but the MAGA lot have Kid Rock to gather everyone round and sing Macho Man, which would be, you know, really powerful and moving.

Liz Truss waiting patiently by her phone for Reform to ring, not realising it's actually a penguin biscuit

FUCKING GET IN THERE. LEO SCIENZA, YOU ABSOLUTE FUCKING HERO. #SaintsFC