The Rapture can't come soon enough.

I'm starting to think Ruben Selles might not be all that shit hot at football management, you know.

Two days on and I've still not seen a single second of England playing with their food against Andorra. It's a very liberating feeling.

I've never been more proud to be English.

The best thing about that Archer goal (aside from the confidence boost it'll give him and the fact we've scored the opener in a league game for the first time this season), is that VAR would've absolutely found a way to rule it out if we were still in the Premier League. #SaintsFC

Is there some new rule this season that Chelsea aren't allowed to concede a goal at Stamford Bridge?

Shame on Sky News for this dangerous bullshit, pandering to Reform's deliberate misinformation. We are not the US, we don't have politically appointed judges.

Yep. Fucking hilarious.

The only disappointing thing about watching Grimsby hilariously tear Man United apart is that it means I can't also watch And Rangers being super brave in the Champions League.

Reform UK, which has a grand total of four MPs, was just given an uninterrupted platform for an hour and a half on the BBC and Sky News channels, in order to talk about its plans for mass deportations When was the last time the Greens (with four MPs) or the Lib Dems (with 72) were given the same?

Newcastle haven’t kept their heads,’ says Chris Sutton. Unfortunate choice of words.

Surely VAR should've ruled out that Liverpool winner because it was a clear and obvious mistake to let anyone wearing number 73 onto a football pitch?

*Ghislaine Maxwell SAYS SHE never saw Trump in 'any inappropriate setting', transcript THAT SAW HER REWARDED WITH A MOVE TO A SOFT-TOUCH PRISON shows Fixed it for you.

you rarely encounter a perfect intro..........but when you do

It doesn't sound like the Rangers fans fully trust the process. #SaintsFC

It feels very on brand for Leeds to have a sleeve sponsor that at a quick glance looks like they're all trying to get the badge in.

Turned on the Chelsea game to see Eze score an incredible free kick for Palace. And then VAR find any possible reason to rule it out. Thank fuck we're not in that league anymore.

I'm not convinced there's much point assessing anything about this #saintsfc team or its performances until the window slams shut, but I'd have taken that point all day long. I do think coming from behind twice in a row is important though, just to exorcise the ghosts of last season.

A Hollywood ending, if you like. #SaintsFC

Just got my first Christmas-related PR email of the year. Happy August, everyone!

This is amongst the most impactful two minutes of broadcasting I’ve ever seen. By Emma Murphy, International Editor, ITV News. #Gaza

Football's back and the immediate winner is Sky's new graphics package. #geek

Might use this lot to take a break from watching the news and cheer myself up.

We all think of the Premier League as a land of limitless riches, but some poor bastard in Burnley's PR team has clearly been told a Photoshop licence is an expense too far.

Trophy lifts just aren't the same without Donald Trump awkwardly standing in the middle of them.

Loving the energy of the random kid in the presentation committee leaning over Prince William to shake the players' hands when he's taking too long with the congratulations.

Dame Chloe Kelly.

Vital journalism.

I'm sure we'll be told they're not domestic abusers, they're just 'concerned partners'.

Don't go to Brewdog or buy Brewdog beers, reason #367.

I don't even live in London anymore and this has devastated me.

Manchester United show patience? Good one!

That was an all-time terrible penalty shootout. Which makes it all the sweeter when England somehow win it.

I turned the England game on at 65 minutes. It's either me or the substitutions that has made the difference.

Just a perfect, perfect ending. Test cricket is a magnificent, stupid game.

That would be at least two goals fewer in the #SaintsFC conceded column this season...

There's so much wrong with this Facebook post, but let's start with whatever type of organisation 'FootyRoom' is thinking that it was appropriate to look up, and then post, a graph of Diogo Jota's market value in the immediate aftermath of his tragic death. I guess clicks are clicks.

The Trainwreck series on Netflix is so weird. Woodstock '99 was excellent, and Mayor of Mayhem left me rooting for a politician I already knew was a crack-smoking dick. But watching Poop Cruise I just wanted almost everyone to get dysentery.

Ah, so that's where the Jesus spot is.

Well, that was one of the strangest England innings I've ever seen.

I've just remembered that Juan Larios exists. And also that he's still on the books. #SaintsFC

Rupert Lowe: "I want to live in a country where all religions and all ideas can be mocked, criticised + insulted without fear. If we lose this argument now, we lose it forever" Also Rupert Lowe: I have written to Tim Davie calling on the broadcaster to withdraw future BBC coverage of Glastonbury.

The BBC haven't covered themselves in glory with some of their (non-)coverage of Glastonbury, but the camera work and direction of this Prodigy set is nothing short of majestic.

There are many things to take from Kneecap's Glastonbury gig, which I'm sure can confirm any predisposition you might have. What should be important, but seems likely to be overlooked, is that they're bloody good live performers.

The lad approves. #pulp #glastonbury

It's quite nice knowing we're going into a season as comfortably not the most shambolic and disorganised club in the division. #saintsfc

I know they didn't give a shit that they were lying, or were too blinded by dogmatic conviction to realise they were talking bollocks, but it's genuinely impressive that they didn't get a single thing right, even by mistake.

I still get goosebumps when they show that montage of Stokes' ridiculous Ashes innings at Headingley. Just absurd sporting heroics. Incredible drama.

Happy British Independence Day to everyone fortunate enough to live in Daniel Hannan's warped version of reality. Enjoy the fireworks shows later, and all that delicious reinvigorated economy, democracy and liberty!