Ted Cruz: "Let's stop attacking pedophiles!" What the actual fuck?! www.c-span.org/clip/senate-...

Haha 🤣

Tomcats, on the other hand, are all named Tom. It can be very confusing.

Astonishing

Merry Christmas!

Away in a Moo Denger

Anthony Edwards, this is the saddest Chipotle order I've ever seen. No beans? No cheese? Add some guac man, I can't afford the guac, but you can afford the guac. Are you okay?

A joyous Midwinter to all. #solstice

"I'll tell you when I want attention."

Alexa Lotl and the bullies

The Arrest of Christ, German artist, 1480-1495, 📸 by @1ontapdigital

"Are you not amused?!?"

Why do huggers get to decide how we greet? "I'm a hugger. 😀" "I'm not. 🖕"

Carl Sagan, a godless prophet.

MISSED CONNECTION: I was the guy who posed nude for your class. You were the math professor who called campus security

The real problem of This

If you get it, thank a teacher. If you just laugh... eewe

‘No Way To Prevent This,’ Says Only Nation Where This Regularly Happens theonion.com/no-way-to-pr...

Increasingly Isolated Putin Tries Joining Adult Kickball League theonion.com/increasingly...

Report: U.S. Hospitals Spend $2 Billion Each Year Replacing Gowns Taken By Escaped Patients theonion.com/report-u-s-h...

“We can disagree and still love each other unless your disagreement is rooted in my oppression and denial of my humanity and right to exist” James Baldwin

Trump, Our public lands are not for sale. Sincerely, Earthling

[trying to discern which of my friends is a class traitor] so that CEO murder, huh? 👁️ 👁️