me_irl

Can I come over and stare at you like this

Just realized, I had no reaction to the flu vaccine at all this year. They usually hit me at least for like a day

I’m gonna miss this election season

Sky

the great thing about the @sonasky.app labeler service is i can easily mute all sneps 👌

A sh1tty boy

Time for me to enter my tractor show arc

True colors

Fried rice and miso soup works, too

Killed a wasp with a fly swatter and didn’t get stung, so I’m feeling pretty good about myself

POV: you live at altitude and bought new mason jars

Toyota really decided to light up the bed like the sun and then put a single LED for the entire cab interior. Anyway, got the materials for my fire pit 👀 Might be able to knock out that project on Sunday (maybe)

Sosig

He’s back. He needs a name.

Big pot of strokin’ off

Need something to mow my property. A ZTR would be the best for that, but I’m considering a tractor instead because look how cute 🥺

How did I end up with three overlapping meetings at a company of 8 people

Did you remember to pet a mustelid today?

TIL you can stop things from sliding around in your truck bed if you have a 2x4

I know a few of you are just like this freaky fucking German weasel

I will for sure miss this car when it’s gone (eventually. I’m dragging my feet getting it ready to sell lol)

Men only want one thing and it’s fucking ramen served to them in a dog bowl

Hypnovember

We raised the maximum wage instead

Yeah man, Mamdani is definitely gonna force women in NYC to wear burqas, that’s so real. Jesus fuckin christ Sorry, but you forfeit your right to even utter the word “antisemitism” if you’re THIS openly islamophobic

DNS may as well stand for Deez NutS at this point

One of my favorite dishes, mapo tofu! First time I’ve ever made it

Gonna get tingly tonight 👀

Idk why I’m so irritable today, but I’m ready to regress to the stone age between this and the stupid thermostat

Switched from one iPhone to another. It redownloaded all my apps, automatically signed me into like half of them, redownloaded my offline streaming playlists, restored my browser tabs, organized my home screen the same way… But did NOT bring my keyboard dictionary over. Wtf why??? This is pain 😭

You’re kidding, right? Are there any non-enshittified thermostats people recommend?

Old HSA refused to let me roll my balance over to a new HSA. (How is that not illegal?) Now my debit card for the old account has expired. But I can’t order a new one because…

Storm number 2 is doing it again!

You thought thundersnow was cool, but I think I just got thundergraupel and thundersleet from the same storm #cowx

Customer complained that the browser UI around my web app is ugly and asked for me to fix that. Next time I take my car in for service, I’m gonna complain to the tech that the gas station I choose to go to is ugly and ask them to fix that.

I love that even today, the best method we have to get confirmation of real conditions inside a hurricane is to fly a turboprop into it. Crazy respect for all the crew members who fly these missions

Bondi: “we seized 1.5 backyard swimming pools worth of cocaine” Americans will use anything but the metric system. How do I convert swimming pools to football fields?

From a crewmember on yesterday's Teal 74 mission into now-Category 5 Hurricane #Melissa. As clear of an eye as you will see in the Atlantic basin.

Wasp spray review (I’ve killed 23 in the past 2hrs) Spectracide: long reach and foams up, will fill holes where they’re nesting. Takes a few minutes to kill them, so they’ll attack if their wings aren’t soaked. Raid: worse reach, harder to aim since it sprays clear, no foam, but kills INSTANTLY.

If you can have a breakfast burrito, I can have breakfast beef taquitos 😤

Noticed a tiny little brown spider behind my nightstand a few weeks ago. Decided to just let it chill there, and tonight it caught a fly. Thank you, nightstand spider 🥰

Me: “I’m gonna stargaze when I get home 🥰” The fog bank when I got home:

🦊: @ruishiro.bsky.social 🦊: Jay (@?)

of course tort sproingus

Really, Verizon? You can’t even have a human type out answers to your FAQs? I guarantee this question used to have a non-AI answer

Imagine a video game that looks like this and it's about being a marten doing marten things.

YouTube allowing any random guy to upload HDR straight from his Samsung Galaxy whatever was a mistake. At least let me override and crunch it down with my screen brightness, geez

Damn, plans foiled

Bro, save some diatomaceous earth for the other bugs! Greedy bitch