Good morning only to anyone else who arrived at their physio appointment at RNOH - after travelling for 2 hours - to discover they are two weeks early for said appointment. 🫠

I love this for the influencer class who make a living out of slagging off western democracies because they can’t handle paying taxes like everybody else. Love it.

I'm glad history ended because this would be well shit

Good evening only to me, 'cos I'm greeeeeaaaaaaaattt.

How to respond to an unsolicited dick pic : pictorial edition.

I just took action with @theactionnetwork.bsky.social: Stick it to hate, racism and fear! Order your free campaign materials . Take action here: actionnetwork.org/forms/stick-...

Good evening only to anyone else whose menopausal brain confused physalis with Cialis, leading to an interesting conversation with the older gentleman serving in M&S. 🫠

See also "that's not autistic...", "Neurotypicals do this..." Friend, I may have some news for you.

We all have the same 24 hours, Brenda.

Off for my Official Itty Bitty Titty Boob Squish Committee.

I'm officially old as two people have let me get on the bus first on two separate journeys today.

*Sweats in Dougal*

Me realising it's only people of my age and older who stick their arms out to hail a bus at a stop. I'm so old.

Good morning only to anyone else whose dog found what we will forever describe as the beginning of "Shit River" which you had to stomp through and fall over in, whilst said dog found a lovely little verge for herself.

I love to see women supporting women's choices. 🥰

Good evening only to anyone else's dog who farted so loud they a) woke themselves up; and b) were so surprised by said fart, they fell off the bed.

Shit.

I'm not a historian. But I can think of no precedent in modern Britain for what is being done to trans people. The media, public institutions, Government and (too often) the judiciary are combining to attack or exclude a marginalized group and its allies - with really no significant demurral.

Wow, I really am mint chocolate chip in all ways.

Ordered apple cider vinegar from the Co Op; received this incredible substitution.

Though I'd amend this to any woman over any guy. We *really* need to unionise.

Imagine if this was as big as the forced perspective... 🤤

Happy St Pancakes Day to all who celebrate.

2 would be ace, but imagine 5 and ensuring My Enemies never enjoy buttered toast again. *Mwah ha ha!*

"I'm still young and hip", I comfort myself, as I have a silent disco in the kitchen and recreate the opening dance to Adam Ant's "Prince Charming". My body :

Guess I'm going to need to crumble a l'il bit of my Citalopram into the Felix each evening, then. Sorry, cats.

Seeing as Valentine's Day is coming up, I just want to say; if you have ever liked me, and think I might like you back, please keep it to yourself. I have terrible taste in men, so not only do you probably need to work on yourself, you should also consider some therapy. Thanks. 😻

Child at the podium: “A woo woo woo.” Mamdani: That’s how I felt when we came up with this plan. Together, we will expand the idea of what is possible in our city—and what sounds and noises we can make at a press conference.

Me: I will buy a mandoline slicer. This will be a valuable edition to my kitchen. I will show my children how safe it is by slicing cheese with it. My thumb : HOLD MY BEER.

Loot that drops after defeating me; About 2 quid in small coins; A pocket of bird seed so I can feed my beautiful pigeons on my travels; At least six dog treats and a roll of poo bags; 28 snotty, used, tissues; Six tramadol and probably quite a bit of piss.

When your fluffiest cat has started to wait for, then herd you, to your bedroom for cuddles.

When you thought you'd had your last ever period in October last year, but that raggedy bitch turns up all a la Columbo 5 days into February, so you have to start the countdown to menopause all over again.

Sean Bean realising that RSPB stands for the Royal Society for the Protection of Birds, and not the Royal Society for the Prevention of BASTARDS. #GetBirding #GetBirdingWithSeanBean

It was lovely, but FFS, find someone else to do Kermit's voice. It's been almost 10 years and it's still very wrong (bring back Steve Whitmire!) I'm now a Sabrina Carpenter fan; she was the perfect guest. #TheMuppetShow

Ok, here we go #TheMuppetShow

Yep.

Oh, this is me.

*Bring Dogbert for walk; *Clean and dry Dogbert's muddy paws; *Clean floor where Dogbert's muddy paws went; *Dogbert goes straight into the garden and re-muds up her paws.

I've just done a quiz to find my ideal man, and it transpires that my ideal bloke is 12 rescue dogs in a raincoat, with 16 rescue cats in a backpack.

I feel like Terry will stab me if I vote for Pickle

Tag yourself; I'm "whump".

Me and my to do list :

How I ask for your hand in marriage.* *Just the hand. Not interested in the rest.

Not shown; the jackdaw that was sitting next to the parakeet and in between the (squints) sparrow on the right of the picture, who took off as I was taking the picture.