Given *everything* I’m going to take a break. If I’m not back in five minutes, just wait longer

Nothing would be more compassionate than getting Tudor out of this situation

Mr. President sir, the people want you to die.

Well at least the seething has subsided

So pretty clearly Tottenham aren’t going to save themselves and their survival hinges entirely on someone else fucking up even worse. Not loving those odds, even with Marinakis and the dildo brothers in the group chat

Taking the dog out. Sorry pal, they did ruin your human’s Sunday. Again

I’m sure three weeks of stewing will do wonders for everyone’s mental health

@london.gov.uk Johan Lange has a basement full of dead bodies and trucker speed, you should arrest him today.

Anything that has actually worked under Tudor has been purely by accident. How did they find someone dumber than Thomas Frank? Genuinely impressed

I mean we might as well assume the worst here given *everything*

Put in Xavi you dolt

I am going to redact Michael Oliver

This is going to go from nothing is a foul to someone getting a red card in no time

Romero when he hears “no yellows”

Graeme Le Saux has been possessed by the spirit of Lee Dixon

The team built by the “win duels” guys sure doesn’t win many duels

More like the whine/tear derby, amirite?

Weird how none of the Mueller obits mention his time with the Red Sox

They mocked Elon’s son Telemachus for ordering a liter of cola and now he’s being arraigned for assault

My epic son Ruttiger tried to order crab Rangoon at an Olive Garden and the waiters beat him to death with stale breadsticks

Couldn’t happen to a nicer bunch

Garnacho, brother, you stink

They’re gonna measure the dancing on trump's grave with the richter scale

Instantaneous, nearly infinite access to the breadth of human knowledge, and we just keep getting dumber

Can we send lightning instead?

Well

On my own tonight. What kind of garbage should I eat?

Wild that we need a “Cap, on your left” Endgame Spurs edit every goddamn season but I will also watch each one of them

So we’re declaring “a few small beers” instead

Spurs need an exorcist, good lord

Really recommend getting into Premier League soccer if you're a parent of young children. It rules being the maddest you've ever been in your life during gymboree.

Lousy Smarch Madness

Show someone who absolutely rocks a hat (that isn't Indiana Jones)

Surely extra time will only increase Forest’s power

Forget who said it but yes they should absolutely play the champions league anthem before every league home game

tinder: let me scan your camera roll to determine what you're into my camera roll

It’s a fun thing to think about how one of the two political parties simply decided they don’t want to do democracy anymore and we didn’t charge each and every one of them with treason

I mean at least he didn’t throw up on her

Lummoxes gotta stick together

Tottenham had 11(!) shots on target? In this economy?

We’re back baby

Good?

Why am I watching the Liverpool Network

we go again

All right lads, big game tonight. Let’s all check to make sure we’re wearing the right shoes.

Taking the dog to the vet so if they concede in the first five minutes it’s not my fault

Appreciate the other English teams in the champions league getting together to make Spurs feel good about themselves