some people are actually cooked eh www.rnz.co.nz/news/nationa...

can’t believe fentanylruary is almost ½ over

Hey @jamescheung.bsky.social give me funding, you have my bitcoin address. You could 100x with this project. notagrift.com/shypto/

this mother fucker back

Startup idea: a food delivery box but instead of food it's used batteries and powdered glass and instead of delivery you have to drive (to somewhere that is in a GPS black spot) to pick up you box of used batteries and powdered glass.

new zealand should just cut down all its trees if they are so careless as to let them keep falling on peoples homes

thinking about getting my soon-to-be 1-year-old a bandsaw for their birthday

Why is Chris Luxon holding an umbrella over Harpo Marx in an empty stadium before dawn in the pouring rain? I don't think I've seen this movie.

@minipaint.bsky.social question for you: got any suggestions for where to start. Have been warhammering but it’s too commercial. Want to get into something else.

Woman in the Leopards Ate My Face Party who tried to encourage other women to let leopards eat their faces is surprised when her face gets eaten by a leopard.

Shaved and now Face ID do not recognise me

I have a valentines related work story but I don’t have the time to post today. It involves a Cupid costume, a deranged HR department, and a hopelessly romantic new CEO.

Wrote a stream of consciousness thing the other night notagrift.com/what-i-write/

Didn’t expect it, but of course he gave Robert Mugabe financial advice.

Land lubbers, they will come and they will go.. Mostly to the depths far down below. You'll go...

Sung to the tune of Dreams by Fleetwood Mac, but in a pirate voice: 🎶 Plunder only happens when we’re sailing Pirates only love you when they're parlaying 🎶

Just realised my wifi name is finally sort of culturally relevant.

dude looks like a temu jonah hill

An evening well spent. First batch of marines finally ready for washing and necrons primed. I have so much plastic (and metal) crack to paint.

Reminders for all my Melbourne activist friends: all cops are bastards, don’t get kettled on Princes Bridge, use water to wash pepper spray out your eyes.

if the trench knife is embedded in the wall, how will elon pull it out? he's not arthur, son of uther pendragon, from the castle of camelot, king of the britons, defeater of the saxons, sovereign of all england!

We took over MPavilion on Tuesday night. Writers were writing in the golden light of a magnificent Melbourne evening in the cozy confines of Tadao Ando's concrete canopy.

Everyone in Wellington should be forced to take massive amounts of Imodium until they fix the sewerage system.

As an Australian citizen I’d like to make it clear: Dr Oz has nothing to do with us.

How good are capsaicinoids

LNG actually stands for “Lame National Government”. They’re fast tracking a plant to clone the most asinine moist doughy rich folks so we live under their crony capitalism chaos forever.

Many perfectly good reasons for suddenly and chaotically closing a major airport and the airspace around it. Nothing, absolutely nothing, to see here regarding a giant four pincered spherical cyclops robot similar to the one from the original Sim City games. Nope. Na uh.

He sounds like someone out of one of my stories.

THIS NEWS WILL PLEASE A FEW PEOPLE: “QUT will become the new custodian of Meanjin, Australia's most eminent literary journal, bringing the publication back to Brisbane 80 years after it relocated to Melbourne.” www.qut.edu.au/meanjin

Humans are super confusing. Run a free event in a public space where it was mentioned on entrance there would be photography and there was a photographer very visibly taking photos and then after the event someone complains in a very pissy way via email. Chill out boomer. "Sent from my iPhone"

Hey @bsky.app i don’t want drafts, I want edits. Let me edit my poorly written posts to remove spelling and grammar mistakes.

Sometimes when I see a person reading a physical book in public I’ll sidle up to them and whisper “the dog dies at the end” breathlessly into their ear.

Hosted a stellar session of @notypewriters.com at MPavilion this evening.

🥹

WHY ARE THERE SO MANY SONGS ABOUT RAINBOWS?!

@ahawkins.bsky.social need a press sec?

Remember back, before COVID, when you had to go into the office every single day?

next year I am going to do a superbowl ad

i thought ketamine was supposed to cure depression.

Protip: only eat *non-friable* asbestos. It’s healthier, fewer carbs, more protein.

Time to grind up some of these “research chemicals” I bought off a Mongolian website and pop them in the incense burner to help me get to sleep. Night night fam 🦬

cloaca

Come write a thing with me and @notypewriters.com tomorrow night. Spots still available 👉 mpavilion.org/events/no-typewriters/

there is a literal war criminal responsible for the deaths of thousands of children on the loose go arrest him

An anagram of "Isaac Herzog” is “I, chaos gazer” which is a pretty good indication that he is a genocidal war criminal that should be on trial in The Hague.

Our government crossed a line by inviting a war criminal - they can’t uncross it.

I can’t make it to the protest so to be clear: I stand in solidarity with Palestine. Herzog and any other world leader whose country commits genocide should be arrested the moment they hop off the plane.

If you’re anti-immigration and anti-multiculturalism, you should be permanently banned from any food that didn’t crawl out of the beige emotional void that is your soul—enjoy your dry toast asshole.

Come write a thing with me and @notypewriters.com tomorrow night. Spots still available 👉 mpavilion.org/events/no-typewriters/