podcast idea: 45 minutes of me screaming until my throat bleeds interspersed with ads for meal prep boxes, crypto scams, and finfluencer podcasts

yo dawg i heard you like blockades so i blockaded your blockade so you can blockade while you blockade

why is there no toast or toaster emoji wtf @unicode.org?!???

i feel you, mouse

for some reason topanga from Boy Meets World just popped into my head. why? i wonder if the show stacks up 30 years later

i’m on a low sodium diet for health reasons so the “brine” is 5% silica gel by weight

hope you’re not alone for the cyclone, nz friends. stay safe, stay dry

SPLASSSSSH DOOOOWN

Barnaby would not be happy with Woolworths New Zealand closing its in‑store butchery departments

i do not like it when some of you weird internet friends are experiencing not goodly mental health - please know that even though i present as a demented solvent abusing silica gel packet consuming deviant i do care about you all and am here to help.

any one want to get a coffee? i need a coffee

gosh the video of the artemis crew blanking ol' mate gives me joy

I don't remember seeing an image of Earth before that captures the (thin, fragile, tiny layer of) atmosphere so clearly. I mean, look at that.

can someone please explain negative gearing to me like i am an idiot (i am) also, franking credits? wtf is all this made up bullshit?

things you don’t want to hear your coworker say: i’m thinking of growing my toenails out

lmao got blocked for this, what is even going on? can someone please tell kev i love him and miss him and perhaps he needs to chill out, eat some m&ms. it still surprises that, in the year of our lord 2026, some people on the internet have seemingly never encountered shitposting before.

new zealand should seize this opportunity to seize "american" samoa, maybe even hawaii. never, in living memory, has the usa been so weak and ready to cut shitty deals

if we could harness the power of delusion we would never have another energy crisis

My friend: “Iran seems to genuinely have won, I can’t see any part of that plan that disadvantages them except a commitment not to pursue nuclear weapons (which they’d already committed to with Obama years ago)”

i now understand why all boomers seem like they have lead poisoning: the existential threat of nuclear war is quite harrowing

imagine if all of iran did the harlem shake would that be enough for trump?

taking seed funding investors now

toot toot

does any else ever wish they’d get car doored while cycling and get to spend a week or two in hospital (in a country with socialised healthcare).

Right. Trying this again. Going for more of a salsa vibe. Capsicum. Jalapeño. Garlic. Shallots. Cucumber

feeling p deflated team

once worked with a guy who loved pan's labyrinth so much he got red eyes tattooed onto the palms of his hands

this is how most people respond when i talk

🥰

i’m gonna tell my kid i was the easter bunny

what’s the easiest phd to get (other than an honorary one)?

little know entomology fact: the word “welcome” comes from mediæval england when new people moved into a village everyone would whack off into the local water source as a way to well-come them. the shared ritual created lasting fraternal bonds and was very egalitarian

🦀💵🦀💵🦀

Startup idea: Christmas Island Crab Christmas Experience. We drop 10,000 Gecarcoidea natalis (each with a little Santa hat glued to its head) into your house.

jesus god damn loved eggs

me before i got sober 👇

they should just get tom cruise to topgun impossible iran

when you think about it, we’re all dying. vale bluesky vale

culinary idea: lacto fermented hot cross buns

i have eaten my body weight in buns decorated with and celebrating a brutal way of executing someone and god i feel alive

i am on an anti-AI list 🥰 you know what, i am poorly disposed for productive conversations.

happy zombie jesus weekend for those who celebrate

snap poll: violet crumble or crunchie?

We are 99.8% of the way there! SO stoked that this will be going ahead! Thank you all so much! Still a couple of weeks to pledge if you want o get yourself a pre-order and more! pledgeme.co.nz/projects/885...

i'm panic buying all sorts of thing rn. diesel fuel. saveloys. silica gel sachets. toilet paper. shahed drones. gold bars. oyster-scented candles. camel suet. spare parts for @rmi.bsky.social's soul. garlic. more garlic. lolly cake. duck fat. o-Xylene (ortho-xylene, 1,2-dimethylbenzene)

startup idea: chocolate covered Doritos™ powered by mAIze

going to really enjoy the day when i see one of my posts on @blockclubchi.bsky.social's feed

correct me if i am wrong, but april fools hasn't been funny since about 2011.

i could really go for a 12 ton of kitkats break right about now