Sweet Lumps
@sweetlumps.bsky.social
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📥 78
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I bring a certain "je ne sais pourquoi"
pinned post!
[whispers] Crunchatize me Cap'n
4 months ago
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it's really a shame what AI summaries are doing to internet culture
11 days ago
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Is Werner Herzog on Cameo? Because I really need to hear him do a dramatic reading of the lyrics to The Christmas Song. “Tiny tots with their eyes all aglow will find it hard to sleep tonight“ would be worth the price of admission on its own
24 days ago
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This dentist office will legit turn u white for free
27 days ago
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If you see this, post a random image from your device
add a skeleton here at some point
about 1 month ago
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the life that thick thighs save may be your own
about 1 month ago
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add a skeleton here at some point
about 1 month ago
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If you see this, post a picture from whatever device you're using without explanation.
add a skeleton here at some point
about 1 month ago
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This is the face of a regionally specific demon of European folklore who comes to your home and takes your firstborn if you don't have any suet or lard to feed him
add a skeleton here at some point
about 2 months ago
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brb gonna embroider EAT MY FAT HAIRY TURDS, SEAN DUFFY on a snuggie
add a skeleton here at some point
about 2 months ago
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i bet his flopsweat looks like movie theater butter
about 2 months ago
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quick, build more data centers so the robots can find out why it's happening
add a skeleton here at some point
3 months ago
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Some people call me the space cowboy, some call me
4 months ago
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[clerk at the comptroller’s office] What’s the business address, sir? [me, sweating profusely, registering a fake business] uhhhhhh
4 months ago
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I upgraded to a new phone recently, and the thumbnails for my iTunes playlists seem a bit... off
4 months ago
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[whispers] Crunchatize me Cap'n
4 months ago
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When I was younger I thought Seth Green and Jamie Kennedy were the same person and then I saw Enemy of the State and lost my fucking mind
5 months ago
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reposted by
Sweet Lumps
Mr. Tambourine Man
over 1 year ago
knew this would come in handy someday 😏
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reposted by
Sweet Lumps
m gewehr // MILLION SUNDAY
6 months ago
transition music in a metroid sitcom
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I went down an internet rabbit hole last night, and while reading the Wikipedia entry for Pauly Shore's "Biodome" (don't ask) I stumbled across this nugget
6 months ago
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Just walked into my local Michaels in July and I dunno you guys, I’m beginning to think maybe private equity is not so good at running businesses
6 months ago
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Sir. Sir, please. 😢 “Hunter” has too many associations with crooked Joe Biden. Please, sir. 🥺 Use a stronger word. “Predator.”
add a skeleton here at some point
6 months ago
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Cats have an unshakeable, inborn understanding of squatters' rights
6 months ago
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reposted by
Sweet Lumps
Zach Weinersmith
6 months ago
A favorite Wodehouse trick, which I feel is under remarked, is playing with what you’re allowed to do in a text. Funny example from an early novel.
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CITY TO CUOMO: DROP DEAD
7 months ago
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Me receiving the news that
@josephsmemecoat.bsky.social
has gone another day without posting
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7 months ago
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hey do u guys remember when that plantation burned down
7 months ago
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THIS VEHICLE DOES NOT
7 months ago
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well this is not... a minor loss
add a skeleton here at some point
7 months ago
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reposted by
Sweet Lumps
Brooke from Let’s Not Date
7 months ago
Don’t send me an unsolicited picture of your peewee cocktapus unless you want me to… A: find your mom’s Facebook B: find a picture she uploaded of you reminiscing about what a nice young man you were C: badly photoshop that into a locket D: convince you I’m your daughter. Happy Father’s Day Daddy.
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I've added a house rule for Slugbug/Punchbuggy: If you cause someone else to see a Cybertruck by drawing their attention to it, they get to punch you.
7 months ago
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When reached for comment, the man Donald Trump shot in the middle of 5th Avenue said while he doesn't condone the president's actions, he does not regret his vote.
8 months ago
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JESUS, ABOUT TO RIP A NASTY HUMMUS FART: get behind me satan
9 months ago
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I made a thing, nerds
9 months ago
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reposted by
Sweet Lumps
Colin Dickey
9 months ago
This account,
@un-manuscripts.bsky.social
, sucks ass and you should block them. This is a cruel and shitty thing to do to writers who have no power in the publishing world, done by a person with much more power. This is punching down and it sucks.
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Life Coach: imagine your wildest creative dreams coming true in the next five years. Me: Me ripping open portal from the alternate future where Shiny Happy People was covered by Disturbed: WAH HAHAHAHA
9 months ago
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she slopsquat on my large language model til i achieve singularity
add a skeleton here at some point
9 months ago
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weird that Black Friday is happening on a Monday in April this year
9 months ago
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Here's an ad-free CNBC live feed if anyone's looking
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9 months ago
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I made this 5 years ago and... WELP
10 months ago
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reposted by
Sweet Lumps
rev. howard arson
11 months ago
i think "an effective altruist is personally denying twenty million people their HIV medications despite a court order telling him to send the money" is a pretty good summary of effective altruism as a real world philosophy
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I just sat bolt-upright with the worst idea for the name of a shitposting account: “Welcome to the
#resistance
, Henry Kissinger”
10 months ago
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reposted by
Sweet Lumps
Russell Cohn
11 months ago
A big problem with American politics is that a third generation hvac company owner is seen as more working class than a teacher’s aide
add a skeleton here at some point
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a funny thing is that "Old Time Rock and Roll" was released in the late 1970s, so it's referencing "old time" music from like... 20-30 years prior, maybe? someone should update that song with nostalgia for that old time nu metal
11 months ago
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reposted by
Sweet Lumps
derek guy
11 months ago
if we staff ICE with Uvalde police officers, they'll never enter schools
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Don't feed the trolls Force-feed the trolls Ethical foie gras, bingo bango
12 months ago
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Just had my afternoon ruined by the sudden unshakable conviction that someone, somewhere has named their child “Cybertruck.”
12 months ago
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reposted by
Sweet Lumps
Asawin Suebsaeng
about 1 year ago
I was told that when Saddam sent the families of the executed a bill for the cost of the bullet used that that was a Bad thing
add a skeleton here at some point
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This came with my health insurance card in the mail, and I'm saving it for the next time someone asks for a business card
about 1 year ago
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My child asked why they’re called sloppy joes and I told her they were invented by Josef Stalin
about 1 year ago
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2099 is a ways away, but ok unless they meant... no, they would've said
add a skeleton here at some point
about 1 year ago
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