Just said “bet” to the supervisor

Today my dishwasher broke and I chipped a tooth 🫠 why

Ok but what does Lady Gaga know about cameras?

Opening any internet tab: Ah, what will it be today? Child murder and räpe? Or maybe ICE kidnapping and marking people? What a world. What a terrible fucking world.

> @governor.ny.gov

I’m gonna kick Taylor York in the fucking knees THE HAILEY WILLIAMS IS IN LOVE WITH YOU STUPID GO GET YOUR WIFE

Can somebody get this shaved down redneck island boy off my tv

Justin on that shit again

Olivia Dean looks like an actual princess omg

Chappell reading the teleprompter with zero fucks given 😭

idk I’d have to try them both 😭😭

Lola Young seems like a cutie patootie and I’m happy to see her perform for other artists, that’s gotta be an awesome feeling

Yall really have this damn tiktok song on the Grammys now smh

Me to my husband at the store seeing a genuinely cute plant “Your whore mom would like this”

My coworkers talking about Indeed but I need this job

Sometimes you gotta make his chest cave in sis

I took an Ambien with the intent to be asleep by 10 and it’s 10:30 I’m up on Bluesky smoking a joint. I gotta be up at 5:30 man

When IT remotes in on my computer to help me fix something 😭

I actually did change my major 🤣

Deactivated my Facebook today

Rethinking being an English major because why am I writing a paper about Hamlet wanting to fuck his mom 😭

In a Panera while my country falls to pieces. The worst part about the end of times is the fake normalcy.

It is 7:15 in the MORNING why is my Spotify so damn freaky 😂 #BlackSky

When Meet The Grahams comes on the shuffle

Why did my espresso stop working? 3 days in a row not once has it done its job

the Signal fiasco is a good reminder that while these people are destructive, and cruel, and bigoted, and petty they are also really, really stupid

Text STOP to stop receiving classified military operations.

Hey who has a psych degree? Why can’t I be proud of myself? I’m literally overachieving as always and I feel like a bum.

I’m in my car outside the gym smoking weed and the dude in the car parked next to me is doing coke?? Get your workout on ig 😭😭

We don't spend a penny on marketing. It's all word of mouth for @costplusdrugs.com That's how we keep prices so low. Please spread the word !

She said you just mad cause Payless ran outta plastic pumps for the after party 🤭

taking black kids away from their parents and putting them on farms seems really familiar to me! what could it be?

Happy Barack Obama Day!

The thing that irritates me about e-lawn supporters is that that man is literally playing in yall face rn.

My favorite part about Office Culture is the fact that everyone here is very open about the fact that we all hate being at work and wish it was the weekend. Like yknow what hell yeah.

Uh uh that man is too horny for me

i feel like Bill Burr's got that George Carlin energy where you might assume he's a reactionary chud because Angry White Guy but he actually hates all the right people

Why I call my dr office saying these antidepressants ain’t CUTTING IT she’s like we have an appt in 3 weeks. Baby ima be ☠️ by the yeen got one little spot?

They’re emailing me about renewing my FAFSA while the DOE is abolished 🫠🫠

Aw shit Valentine’s Day almost here and I got my winter leg hair on still 😭😭

I’m a staunch feminist but I also say things like “that sounds like a man problem” when my key fob needs a new battery

Hyping myself up to be at work and I’m like “it could be worse, you could work for E-Lawn Must” so ima go do my jobby job and stay up 😭

I’m crying 😂😂😂😂😂😂

Wow. I got a 3.92 GPA last semester but I won’t be on the Deans list bc I switched majors and subsequently dropped a class. Still was full time. Man fuck them

Hey Drake!

“Say Drake”