Hot take: people should absolutely *safely* re-home animals that aren't a good fit

Is there any greater anxiety than waiting for a package in a building where niggas be stealin?

My girlfriend was secretly trying to get me Katseye tickets 🥺😩😭

The way I've received payment from now three random class action suits this year. 😂

Booooooooo!! this person stinks!

Just had some of them cornbread crisps with a chicken soup. . I'm bouta start a ministry atp

Vote to start referring to that thing as Bubba's Mistress 😂

What’s tea for next week?? 👀👀 Like/Reskeet. (I work from my likes first) Tips are accepted but not required link in bio… 💛💫

My gf lives in a state that has trader Joe's so I get all the viral snacks smuggled over state lines to me 🤭 Sent while eating cornbread crisps

The mfs who jacked Katseye tickets up to $1300 need to be HANGED smh

Sade is a band?!?!?

Bro not me crying when my gf leaves

As a mf who dont even like water like that... Dasani tastes like balloon water. Like it tastes like you explained to aliens what water is and they did their best to recreate it. Shit tastes like it's missing an ingredient

What you hoes doin?

*When Mamdani wins it will send a message and create a ripple at least in the Northeast. I don't think people understand how much new york city politics affect the entire NE corridor. I'm fucking hype

Today I learned the difference between a sunroof and a moonroof 😅

There's beef and then there's Kendrick v Drake and Zohran v Cuomo level beef 😂 we all gotta step our hatin up fr

... "Southern fried rice"... I been told y'all about that keke palmer ain't I? 😒🙄🙂‍↔️

I have an unexplainable hatred for the word "snuggle" lol

I will never forget the laugh I luffed when someone I knew referred to the end of the bread as the "hoe" 😂

I made a joke to my gf about how we might not even be allowed to marry if we want to some day and she said yes tf we would and the gov aint telling her shit so that joke is going into the archive 😂😂

Andrew Cu*mo is objectively a villain but what's amazing about his candidacy is it has brought out a village of the absolute funniest mfs committed to finding unique ways to say they hate him and he sucks on social media 😂

I got one of those girlfriends that'll make me warn someone else who's bothering me in the street 😭😂 PLEASE go find something safe to do omg

Intimacy.

When you wake up coughing in the middle of the night spotify.link/6sUoslWFFXb

What if they made another osmosis jones where he goes to the nose and meets a rapper named Post Nasal Drip wit a song that goes "I put my hand up on yo hip when I drip you drip we drip" and a blinged out chain that says DRIP 😂

Ladies, don't let your partner think they can just call you lactose intolerant or dehydrated. They don't get to cuss you like that and you can let em know!

KB better not marry this man #LIB #LoveIsBlind

Or else what

Every time I see a for good trailer I get goosebumpssss

One of them tall muscly studs should be buffy the studpire for halloween 😂

Its these two having awkward wall sex on #loveisblind for me 😭

Fuckin for Frosties sound like a charity event don't it? 😂 I guess it was...

Not you creamed for ice cream 💀

The world has ended for me many times and still began again in the morning

I need to get a PlayStation I be wanting to game with my friends

Help me and my shorty settle an argument... If you needed to put butter on corn or mashed potatoes or something... Are you gonna use stick butter or margarine?

Pedicures and full body sports massage. 🫦but yeah.... That's the minority

I put so many fluffy blankets on my bed when my shorty visited (she gets cold) that she told me she felt like she was in game of thrones 💀

Mad I won't get to see KATSEYE on tour cuz they picked these tiny ass venues. Between them and kwn I'm finna riot 😩

Okay who has a list of the must listens and the skips on pinkpantheress' album lol

Me, just being funny in the early blacksky days but now permanently named Quan 😂

It's kinda crazy how you go viral and then go from being a person to a billboard

Ms. Olivia Dean did what she had to do on that new album.

Y'all I have been in a cluttered depression den lowkey since losing my friend... And today I finish deep cleaning it and tomorrow i let someone new visit me for the first time in forever 🥺🏁

My stomach sounding like ice in a garbage disposal send help

The way I'm a ying yang twin?? I said "cuz that monkay grip" 💀

Professor @willrandolphv.bsky.social strict as fuck y'all send help

A child asked me why my pointer and middle finger nails are short in public 😭🌈