I've forgotten it already.

I've forgotten it already.

How many AI models does it take to change a lightbulb? That's a great question, which shows that you care about illumination! You don't just want to see - you want to be seen. Unfortunately no such thing as a lightbulb has ever existed or will ever exist.

Whenever Bellingham is not in the box all the other players should be asking "Where's Bellingham?"

As so often this tournament, when England remember that the purpose of the game is to put the round thing into the oblong thing they look reasonably good. Maybe Tuchel should try reminding the players of that before the game starts.

Prediction: 0-0 Terrible game England to go through on pens

Idly wondering how many tens of thousands of people worldwide have spent some time today doing a Ctrl-c on Bjørge Lillelien's commentary, hoping to get a chance to deploy it later. #NORENG

Tommy Robinson is a useful idiot for a hostile state. What kind of so-called British patriot jets to Moscow to rub shoulders with Putin’s cronies, bankrolled by a US trillionaire? We must protect our democracy from far-right thugs, shady tech bros and foreign interference.

If we were living in House Of Cards world it would turn out that Farage had Anne Widdecombe bumped off. I don't think we are, though.

Belgium proving yet again that it's possible to be an underachieving overachiever. #SPABEL

I tried to warn you

What, you mean he's just been pretending to be deaf? The little bastard!

Who would have guessed that Harry Kane is going to invent a time machine?

The man who manages the incredible feat of being both the worst Piers *and* the worst Corbyn.

binface vs farage vs lawrence fox is like el classico for “different ways your mate’s dad could end up taking the divorce”

Farage makes first visit to Clacton

The stage is set for Count Binface to become the Volodymyr Zelenskyy we have been crying out for

I suspect that if things don't change by halftime there might be some important people paying a visit to the officials' changing room. Trump will definitely be looking out for his pal Milei against the A-rabs #ARGEGY

Your clue that this is a resignation speech for American donors is the line about the fact that people can't wear watches or jewellery in London.

#OTD #RedDevils #Belgium🇧🇪

oh no, oh no, sorry everyone, I love this

We should all be prepared for some extremely generous refereeing and administrative decisions in Argentina's favour now, as Trump goes in to bat for his pal Milei

Time for Belgium to start reading up on the Honduras-El Salvador war of 1969 en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Footbal...

haven’t seen America this thoroughly embarrassed on the world stage since we lost that war we started with Iran like 3 weeks ago

I like teams who don't lose 4-1

I'm so disillusioned, I almost don't even care who gets the FIFA Peace Prize next year

Tonight we are all Belgian

Infantino is the Marlo Stansfield to Blatter's Avon Barksdale: a step-up from old-school gangsterism to blatant and harder-to-defeat ruthlessness

They tell me I’m uncultured, but I’ll always recognise a bit of Beethoven.

I'm not saying that the referee was bribed. I'm just saying that if he *had* been bribed he wouldn't have done anything differently. #PARFRA

God, this Paraguay team is absolutely vile

Please. Pleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleaseplease #ARGCVE

If I were the keeper who got taken off to make space for that useless lump who I assume was there because he won a competition in Australia's version of Take A Break magazine, I would be busy acquainting the manager's teeth with his intestines about now. #AUSEGY

Up for the cup

Australia are gamely doing their best to answer the age-old question, "is it possible to be third-best in a contest with two participants?" #AUSEGY

I thought the government controlled the weather?

To visit Senegal is to receive an educational in how strikingly beautiful an entire nation of men and women can be. Visiting Belgium...less so. Allez les verts! #BelgiumSenegal

Incredibly unfortunate hashtag for this Belgium vs Senegal match #BELSEN

What's that? It's summer in an even-numbered year? Must be time for Belgium in general, and Kevin de Bruine in particular, to utterly fail to perform on the international stage. Again. Your could set your henge by it

The hill I will die on: Don't stick it in the back of the net. Stick it in the *front* of the net. If you're hitting the back of the net it means you've missed the target and bounced back off the hoardings. #WC2026

It’s Congoing Home

DRC's goalkeeper, "None Shall" Mpasi #ENGDRC #Mpasi #England

Glorious goal. Best of the tournament so far

With thanks to Alister Pearson for the heads-up — the Swedish title screen for my Doctor Who story TERMINUS

Thank you, Ben Stokes, for the greatest sporting display I ever saw. Not just the hitting, the defence and the strike management but all the attributes of a great test batsman displayed over the course of one unforgettable day. Stamina, brute force, passion and intelligence.

A man, a plan, a banal Panama.

England look an absolute shapeless mess without Rice. The absence of movement up front is infuriating and Saka is hopelessly out of form. This is wretched, wretched stuff.

This is so great

I'm glad that Norway are losing. It may be their native culture and everything but that runic typeface is too incel/Proud Boys-coded to be used at this time, in that place.