i just remembered i have leftover chipotle in my office for lunch tomorrow hell yes

another year, another 365 days of being horny with my sexy and cute bloomfies 😌

i cleaned out

if you see this, we IMPLORE YOU to post a picture from whatever device you're using without explanation.

i just came in someone’s son oops

it’s not christmas ‘til you hear The Chord™️ 🎅🏻 (i’d say not to tell my teacher how much i look at my feet bc you’re not supposed to but she’s dead rip)

fletch be like

i survived today, praise be had some of the hardest music i’ve ever had to play at my church job. I’m not a good enough organist for that shit 😂

I have best friends and I have worst friends. And a worst friend is a best friend who their whole job is to make you worse (for the better) like for me my worst friend is my angry friend cuz she’s right, I do need to be meaner and get angry and shit and I love her for that

also i have a gi consult in an hour to talk about what tf is happening with my gut what if they tell me i can’t eat anything good ever again 😩

can i just go on the record and say i hate leftovers like that’s p much a blanket statement

happy tushy tuesday, bloomfs ☺️ (feat. @jokerpajamas.top’s load)

AHHHHHHHHHHH

y’all @piandcake.bsky.social is being homophobic and sending me really sexy snaps even though he’s in england and not in minnesota spitting in my mouth :(

hairy pits? hairy pits. 🤤

call me bitchy and/or a boomer but i feel like it should be illegal to have unsubscribe buttons/links on a website or in an email that don’t actually work it should also be legal to firebomb those companies’ headquarters, but that’s a different story

am toasty, yay

i’m waiting for an edible to kick in, just doordashed dinner from my favorite chinese place, and am finna jerk off. take that, sunday scaries ✌🏻

Happy Sunday, Sluts

I love gay people and faggotry <3

btw if we’re bloomfs you’re automatically hot and sexy and cute fyi

it was a rough night but am feeling a bit better yay

i think i might have food poisoning help 🤮

I need to be used by a group of men who smell nice. This is the policy issue I need to be solved.

y’all i really really want the lego notre-dame 😩

this is a #foreskin friday post since it’s soft but happy weekend from my leaky cock 💦 (btw my precum is very tasty in case you were wondering)

why does my left nipple hurt when all i’ve done today is sit at my desk and do work shit

actual text i just sent my best friend: “why are period poops the worst??”

my tummy hurts today but i’m being so brave about it 😔

AAHHHHHHHHH

I can’t take any more of America being America, I’m going to explode like a white guilt limpet mine

i don’t know why it took me eight christmases at this job to decorate up in the bell tower but i did and it’s so festive, mariah whomst?

this hump day brought to you by my electric blanket that made it reeeeeeally hard to get out of bed this morning

god dammit it’s snowing again ugh we got eight and a half inches (😏) this weekend; that’s enough please and thanks

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

y’all i have been working on a project all damn day and i’m not even halfway through 😩

let’s start an over 30 selfie thread ✨ 32 👵🏻

post an old dick pic! first one i ever took (i think) circa 2012

mood

so i’m baked and just like… spent a good couple minutes looking at my foot that’s peeking out from under my blanket i have ugly feet lmao

happy (american) thanksgiving, bloomfies!! thanks for putting up with my bitching and peepee pics, ily 🥰

what’s a movie you never tire of?

doing thanksgiving dinner tonight so it’s time to break out The Good China™️ this set only gets used for thanksgiving or if i’m cooking dinner for a date 😂

some of y’all need to stop watching Stranger Things and go touch some strangers’ dongs

okay do y’all know what i love bush 🥵

A couple of examples 😅

also what should i doordash for dinner i haven’t eaten since saturday afternoon and am hungyyy

ope i almost forgot my mid-afternoon cry sesh because i’m a disappointment and hate myself 😎💅🏻