ate a whole burrito from chipotle and i’m so full i’m gonna die

share a gif from a tv show!

it’s always so funny to me when you hear an online friend’s voice for the first time because it’s usually like… oh wait i was completely off with the voice i had for you in my head, oops

AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH

woke up at 8:30 and freaked tf out bc i have to be at church job at 7:45 for easter… only to realize that’s tomorrow, not today 💀

got the c for #fcf but still don’t have someone to bounce on it 😔

i just want someone to bounce on it rn is that too much to ask? 😩

having a lively convo with my humanities colleagues that: what’s y’all’s favorite swear word? mine’s god dammit

post something random or you’ll have an awful april

ya boy got accepted into the ms program he applied for and is gonna start grad sküle in july, woo

POV: You spot Kristi Noem and her husband cruising at the beach this Summer-

@otterpotter.bsky.social hate crimed me :(

i know i’ve skeeted this before but i would do *anything* to go to a cupcakke concert

do y’all know what i love cock

also i fucked up a stitch on my almost-finished embroidery piece and put a giant hole in the fabric trying to get it out so i’m going to launch myself into the sun, brb

not to be problematic but i will never trust anyone who doesn’t like icing on their cake like that is literally the only reason to eat cake, tf are you scraping it off for??

it’s 11:36 in the morning and i’m still in bed instead of cleaning and going to the store hell yeah 💅🏻

p sure i’ve posted this #fcf throwback before but @piandcake.bsky.social said it was good enough to post again so 🤷🏼‍♀️

Ok but why are y’all so haaaaaaaaaaaaaawt? 😩

AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

i’m watching willy wonka and the chocolate factory for the first time in over a decade this entire thing is one giant, complicated fever dream

and i oop (sound up 🤭)

i cannot describe how badly i want a fat cock to breed me rm

today’s #mcm is brought to you by “i have 45 minutes left at work before i can go home and jork my penips, can this please go by faster”

@mntinytreasures.bsky.social after trimming my hair for me earlier: “uh… i cut it a little shorter than usual. you look like a heterosexual.” 🫢

i don’t understand how i can be this depressed and still be so goddamn horny, my god

i was birthed on this day in [year redacted] and am feeling about like this rn 👵🏻

why are men so hot 😩

[minnesota city where i live] is under a blizzard warning, ugh. some reports are saying as much as, like, 20 inches only for it to get up to 62° on friday 😵‍💫

and i oop (sound up 🤭)

i’m high and whore knee so… y’all wanna see me being submissive and breedable? 👀🫢

filed my name change paperwork eek now i can quit stressing and thinking about it for a while lmao

We just learned that 6,000 companies have contracts with ICE. Not just a few hundred. SIX THOUSAND. We have a lot of boycotting and demands to make, folks.

about to text my mother and tell her i’m changing my last name halp

it’s a long story that’s been years in the making but i think i’m going to change my last name. like, soon. my birthday is next wednesday and what better way to celebrate than ditching my dickhead father’s name like i’ve wanted to for years? 😂

I an eepy boi

I would like to live in a giant hollowed out peach with a cast of loveable talking giant insects.

i hope poot is doing okay

y’all i’m so fr rn i *need* to get my dick sucked, fuck

quote this with a picture of your cock 👀 #testicletuesday

this is how i access bluesky

today’s #mcm is brought to you by: can 5:00 just hurry up already? fucking hell 😮‍💨

i was successfully influencered (lol) into buying a birkin oops. it’s fake but looks pretty good and is so cute omg. gonna be my computer bag and they gave me the little rainbow charm as a freebie because they must have known i’m a ✨faguette✨

I have a lot crushes

you, in another decade. (this was 2009, [almost] a whole two decades ago)

fr fr tho, am feral today

I need a sugar daddy to help me pay bills. 😞😭

here’s the gay thing btw

it’s friday but nobody’s come over and let me suck their fat cock 😔