i got dicked down by @calebblake0207.bsky.social and have the video evidence to prove it. 🤭 full video’s up on OF now.

If you’re not a little chubby don’t post your fucking flat stomach with “belly”

I always feel bad for the little suckers duped into marketing internships of door to door sales but I will always lie and say I’m a renter with no power fuck off

That little Jimmy dude in hacks is hot…….like GREAT ass

Blast his wemis

No bigger caffeine jolt to my system quite like saying “ok I’m gonna go to bed”

Did the daredevil show canonize cloak and dagger? And by extension the runaways too

Now that he is back making music I think David archuletta and Carly Rae Jepsen should collab.

Hocus pocus 3 and all I can say is it better be good and like the first compared to that….abysmal sequel made for streaming money grab

Fully in an insane era where I haven’t been FUCKED in 4 years and I could get some except now I only want dick from one fucking man who isn’t messaging me anymore

went for coffee with a friend and honored the day’s theme.

Anyone else need to be naked with a furry guy? 😏

“What other errands do you have us running for the da?”

My biggest hot take is I wish that charting results for medical stuff in like “my chart” is I wish it didn’t give me “abnormal” results despite the results being within MY normal range. Like yeah I don’t need an alert that my creatinine is 1.5 that’s where it leveled out post transplant.

Homophobia is me gassing myself up to ask out the hot receptionist at the doctor who is always nice to me and excited to talk and……he isn’t here

I wanna go out and meet a dude and get laid but I also refuse to use any apps since that time in like October some creep tried extorting me. Men are trash and I’d rather die alone

Just out the shower 💦

I have to get a stye removed from my eye tomorrow but at least I have nice titty definition

Good morning! (say it back)

Tryna get hotter and be fit but I also threw up everything I’ve eaten in the last 3 days and threw out my back doing laundry I really fucking am gonna die alone huh

Like a good neighbor cum in my butt

Writing it now…..if it comes to quarantine again let’s all rent a big property in the woods and quarantine together at the big gay sex cuddle puddle

Also nothing in life gives me more anxiety than waiting with my laptop staring at a little camera tester of myself before going into a virtual interview.

Got a haircut to look a little less like a creature that emerged from the forest after a 25 year sleep Idk if I like it

250 pound bitch with a bad attitude

Midlife crises at 34 or was all that shot at 17 my midlife crisis and I’m gonna die soon?

Marvel will never have what the mighty morphin power rangers movie from 95 had. So just know that!

Tryna flirt with a man who sends mixed signals??? I’d rather murder myself and frame him for it

This single-subject study examined whether semen flavor is enhanced through plantar surface administration. Preliminary findings suggest a positive effect on palatability. However, results cannot be generalized, and further investigation with increased subject diversity is warranted.

I love when you post your physical media purchases, I love seeing what movies and books and music you’re into, keep posting your stufffff

I also hate that I can have lost 65 pounds over the last few years but all I see in the mirror is me at my most fluid overloaded dying weight. Like actively that’s all I’ll see or remember and it’s not fun.

😈 the devil's pride 😈

Just had a fucking Gen Z try and make a video saying MySpace wasn’t real because the photos are gone and like…..yeah it was 20 years ago and when it was abandoned people lost photos. But it was very real I was there……

I want a man. Like I don’t need one but like…….could be fun. So where do I find said man?

Ya ever have a weird stoner moment of “are my feet weird looking” so you send a foot pic to a friend and they immediately hit back “sell feet pic” cuz wild but fair and how do I do that?

Shut the fuck up!!!! The starlight drive in is open this summer!!!!! Anyone wanna go get handsy at the drive in?

I miss when everyday actually felt like a brand new day

Tamodachi life came out and I want someone to remake this with Mariah being meaner to her

Corndog is a poor man’s beef Wellington

Mmmm I like men

Do you think scream 5 made her Billy’s daughter to beat the gay allegations?

Free will exists. Make gingerbread cookies in may!

Living deliciously But like I said I’m gonna be so annoying about him

The oldest millennials will be 50 in 4 years….im 34. How are we the same generation

I hope you are doing well. You deserve it. 🐻 🤗

I should be able to get frosted gingerbread cookies all year round by the fucking way