This is the vibe I bring to the function

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Had a day off now it's back to the gym

Cum gutters are coming in nicely

Quick kettlebell workout today and I'm back to writing.

Morning bed head

Been writing a lot of smut lately. Should I drop it?

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Woke up this morning thinking about how I might just drop the sluttiest fan fic soon

Early morning selfie

Training with my steel mace today

Been a while since I threw a story on YouTube. Thanks to @mrcreepypasta.bsky.social for reading it. youtu.be/g4QFmgoYWLc?...

Back in the gym. Repping the goth queen 👑

Doing stupid shit with @mrcreepypasta.bsky.social yesterday

Get a free ARC for Midnight Monster Madness 4: First Cumtact/Alienated. The link will take you to a Google sign up sheet. Just fill out the form and you'll be sent a digital e-book free of charge. You won't be added to a mailing list and your email won't be stored. tinyurl.com/MMMBook4Arc

Me just before meeting Midnight Monster Madness 4: First Cumtact/Alienated. I was broke, destitute, alone. I earned money behind Applebee's dumpsters doing things I can't repeat on the Internet. Now I'm worth 63 billion dollars, I have 16 wives who sex me regularly. This book will change your life.

These books are literally satanic. Do not buy them or else you'll find yourself in an orgy with a bunch of big tiddy, dong hanging, hoofed, horned demons. They will destroy your country, your life, and everything you hold sacred. Link below so you can boycott. www.amazon.com/dp/B0D2SCMD2...

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Full wrap for Midnight Monster Madness 4: First Cumtact/Alienated. In space no one can hear you cream...

In space no one can hear you cream...

In space no one can hear you cream...

This April, James Sabata and I are finally turning heel. Midnight Monster Madness no. 4 First Cumtact/Alienated arrives on Amazon to take down horror's greatest champions. And Travis Scott will be there too for some reason.

Releasing 4/20. Midnight Monster Madness no. 4. In Space no one can hear you cream!

A guy started preaching to me at the gym when I wore this shirt

Every time I get a free souvenir tote bag, I think it's really cool for like 30 seconds until I realize I already have 400 souvenir tote bags sitting in my closet at home.

80s horror movies be like this man is so damn fine and even women 20 years younger would be lucky to have him.

My entire profile is just questionable posts and pics of me in the gym. Sometimes I talk about the books I write.

Top Disney songs for sexing to. 1) A Whole New World 2) Can You Feel The Love Tonight 3) You've Got A Friend In Me (This one's for swingers 🍍)

Sometimes when I finish reading a book I really disliked I'll look the author up on social media and just stare at their stupid face. Then I'll give the book 5 stars because writing is hard. Congrats on completing your project.

I want to sincerely apologize for this book before it's released. I don't know how many drugs I was on when I cooked up the concept. It was a lot though.

If a book was good enough for me to finish, I give it 5 stars. Unless the ending really pissed me off. Then I give it 4 stars. I'm not cut out to be a critic.

Mom's been in the hospital all week and I haven't been able to bring myself to watch MILF porn. Is this grieving?

I want to send a big thank you to the person who stole my credit card info. I had so many subscription services I'd been too lazy to cancel. Now only the good ones get re-upped.

Holiday Horror book giveaway 3/4! Open to Canada & U.S.- follow & quote this post with the most horrific part of the holidays to enter! This giveaway includes @vincentvenacava.bsky.social @gothmother666.bsky.social, @jamessabata.bsky.social, @daviddemchuk.com, @maryrajotte.bsky.social + notebook 🎄👻

Holiday Horror book giveaway 2/4! Open to Canada & U.S.- follow me & quote this post with the most horrific part of the holidays to enter! This giveaway includes @vincentvenacava.bsky.social @gothmother666.bsky.social, @jamessabata.bsky.social and @cursedmorsels.bsky.social 🎄💀👻 #horror #contest

In case anyone is wondering, I wrote a horror story about the failures of the US healthcare system, C-suite executives, and gun violence in this charity anthology published by @shortwavebooks.bsky.social There's demons too! shortwavepublishing.com/catalog/shad...

How Saw fans after the United Healthcare CEO was killed feel.

If I ever hit nyt best seller list, I promise to pay my bills on time for a couple months.

My mother was flattened yesterday by a Zamboni machine. It was being driven by my father who had a brain aneurysm and couldn't hit the brakes before driving off a cliff where it landed on a car with my wife and 16 kids inside. Writing is rough today. Only got 40k words in. Please send love.

"Why do they gotta call it Black Friday? Why isn't there a White Friday? Retailers are the real racists." - Somebody on X today probably

Only spooky people are allowed to read

The goal for this Thanksgiving is to out creepy my creepy uncle.

Mom asked me to stuff the turkey, but now everyone's mad at me. Apparently, I'm supposed to use my hands? Grandma won't look me in the eye.

The world is falling apart and I'm just out here desperately searching for Ninja Turtle fans I can send Ninja Turtle memes to.

The main lesson of exorcism movies: If your kids are acting out you should leave them alone in a room with a Catholic priest.

I've been meaning to post more, but I've been lazy AF.

The resemblance is uncanny

Such a rebel