Agree with this take 100%. Wife said there's gonna be "I Am In The Epstein Files" for sale at MAGA events soon and I think she's right. They're gonna celebrate it.

How about guaranteed consequences for the idiots posting on TikTok that they’re going to travel to CA to illegally vote for Spencer Pratt?

BRB, moving back to Plano, Texas so I can vote for this guy.

YES! This is exactly it. 🤣🤣🤣

Wembenyama. That’s it. HE IS THE WHOLE POST. He is magical to watch. The biomechanics of the way he moves just don’t make any sense. My goodness. Magical.

Aaaaand the White House gunfire is right on cue 😒

The veiled assertions need to stop. #Bundibugyo has been known since 2007 and is known to cause fatal disease. Companies assess emerging infectious threats and begin work on vaccines/therapeutics long before the public hears about them. That’s not suspicious — it’s preparedness.

“Wow, that new Ed Sheeran album is so good!” “Generative AI is the future and I’m jumping on board!” “Peer review is useless. It’s all about vibes, baby!” “Healthcare is a privilege. Poors can get bent” “Trump and Elon and Zuck are so cool. Vinay Prasad too!” “$1B dollars isn’t *that* much”

Bezos, GURRRRLLLL, I’m gonna tell you as kindly as I can: Raising your taxes WILL ABSOLUTELY FUCKING HELP WORKING AMERICAN. Even a fraction of your fortune *in the right hands* could significantly help, you pinecone. Let them eat cake, the 2026 edition.

I was sitting at home on my laptop working for UCSF co-authoring an entire COVID contact tracing training curriculum for disaster service workers with no public health experience and our team of 300+ folks contacted every 1 in 3 San Franciscans. I worked 10 hour days for months. Eat a dick, JD.

Imagine being a billionaire in an unequal society where the system has been massively rigged in your favor, watching as ordinary people fall further and further behind and get more and more desperate, and thinking a slightly higher tax rate is the worst possible thing that might ever happen to you.

I can’t believe I’m about to say this, but this is actually the best case scenario. If he steals that money for himself, the people who think they’re getting a huge payout will turn on him, too. Because there are lots of people who think they’re getting some of that sweet cash. 🍿🍿🍿

I can see I’m having one of those days where I need to stay off the internet, lest I have a fatal aneurysm. My god. This is beyond outrageous. I want my tax dollars to pay for universal healthcare and food and housing for everyone. Instead we all get to pay for J6ers “pain and suffering”.

I have to write two bios today…one for my 15+ years of HIV prevention and research work and one for my 15+ years as a Les Mills group fitness instructor. I can’t seem to write either one and I will personally slap the first person that suggests ChatGPT or Claude.

evergreen (via the brilliant @smoothdunk2.bsky.social)

As a guy with half a trillion dollars, I have lots of options: 1. Enjoy a 100% stress-free life doing whatever I please in unfathomable luxury all over the world with people of my choosing 2. Have 87 meltdowns a day on a website

Guy with visible stink lines: the birth rate,

Gotta say it’s a bit on the nose to have a ship full of wealthy white people and an outbreak that’s actually been controlled dominate global media while a major Ebola outbreak in DRC with cross boarder spread is going unnoticed. www.npr.org/2026/05/16/g...

Trying not to add items to my closet that I don’t need and then I get an email from Vuori telling me I have $728 to spend before July and I have to renew my V1 membership. Vuori is like a siren sweetly singing me to shipwreck and overconsumption of athleisure pieces. Who am I to resist?

At the bagel shop, “The Right Stuff” by NKOTB is in and I’ll be damned if I don’t know every single word AND the choreography despite the fact that I can’t remember the last time I heard this song. Wish I could hit delete in my brain sometimes to make room for really important things.

kai is a really excellent journalist you should be following. hantavirus is on the top of people’s minds, but this ebola outbreak is going to be much larger and more difficult to control. not something you need to go bulk TP shopping for (it doesn’t spread like covid or flu), but it’s a bad outbreak

It is insane that person who is funding the world’s white supremacist movement & is daily spewing racism, who killed 100,000’s last year by yanking USAID without warning, is regularly discussed in Corporate Media as an industrialist, without any mention of the white supremacism or mass murder.

Yesterday, I was accused of having TDS by someone living in Perth, Australia. Do people living outside of the US really think TDS is a real thing? It seems wild to me that people living outside of the US support Trump. I feel like most of the civilized world is laughing hysterically at us.

If Elon thinks we will all starve after we eat the rich, I'm willing to take that chance.

I wrote about being inundated with AI writing at every turn, unwittingly turning my brain into the AI police, and how shitty AI writing is randomly showing up in my real life outside of the internet www.404media.co/your-ai-use-...

Jesus, you step away for a minute to get a goat cheese and tomato crostini and you miss this. Yikes. That’s a lotta elbow.

Yes. MAGA men. Do this. And don't forget to take your ivermectin. www.menshealth.com/sex-women/a7...

The take I’ve been waiting for 🤣🤣🤣

Brought to my knees by Counting Crows’ “Rain King” playing on the marketplace’s PA while shopping for a strawberry rhubarb pie earlier today. Haven’t thought about that song in years and now I can’t stop listening to it. Adam Duritz’s YEEEEEAAAAAAAH at the end is legendary.

The OG of outbreak viruses on cruise ships needed to remind everyone who is boss. 115 infected on the carribean princess cruise ship in an ongoing outbreak. Sounds like my idea of hell on earth. Trapped at sea on a ship full of people with vomiting and diarrhea. abcnews.com/Internationa...

The cheapest station in Alameda, CA was $5.79/gallon this morning. $4.45 would be most welcomed.

No one is talking about it because the world is a dumpster fire and it’s impossible to keep an eye on all the rapid fire atrocities as they are hurtled wildly at us nonstop. But JFC this is crazy.

My Walkman was not inconvenient. I bought a tape of music, I didn't pay for streaming services. The music couldn't be taken from me after that by the place I bought it or the publisher. I put it in the Walkman. I pressed play. Often I did this while going for a walk. The music played.

I’ll just get up and go to work and answer emails and take Teams calls and enter data into REDCap and uggghhhhh

Guys. Heads up. Let’s talk about Hantavirus. There have been SEVERAL bad takes and BLATANT misinformation circulating regarding this outbreak so I figured it was a good idea to make a thread about it. Stay calm. Stay vigilant. Know your facts. Here’s ALL you need to know. 🧪🧵⬇️

I was just thinking how we haven’t heard much about the current conditions in Venezuela and how Trump’s ousting of Maduro turned out for the people there. Turns out, yeah, not so good. Not surprising. It was an oil grab all along.

I’m convinced that somewhere along the line, Trump actually died and his lackeys figured out a way to reanimate his Madam Tussaud’s wax figure, and the dead bloated hands and lower leg edema and cankles that we see is just a result of all that wax succumbing to gravity over time.

Inject this into my veins

Me trying to learn everything about the hantavirus before my cousin tell the group chat you can cure it with black seed oil

This bums me out. You know what happens when you constantly dumb it down? People never get smarter. Whenever I don’t understand something, I read (a lot) and learn more. Catering to people who hear “gobbledygook” when smarter people speak is why we’re here, folks.

The moment this war started, there was only one way it ends: Trump loses the war and declares victory anyway. MAGA pretends to believe him. Liberals scoff. The only two questions are: 1) How long will it take? 2) Will the media play along with the fake victory? www.nytimes.com/2026/05/05/u...

AGAIN?! Can’t someone get him a Diet Coke or some actual coke to keep his cooling carcass awake?

Survivor’s guilt chicken shawarma

Hmmmmm. This sounds familiar. Unfortunately and tragically familiar. Even though this happened in Connecticut (and not Florida) I wonder if our families’ attorneys should connect. 🤔

Name your top 15 shows ever, gut instinct only: My So Called Life Twin Peaks The Hills Star Trek TNG Star Trek DS9 Project Runway Say Yes to the Dress A Game of Thrones Are You Being Served Top Chef Cowboy Bepop Death Note Frieren: Beyond Journey’s End House of Cards Dexter

Having all the cards is, famously, not the goal in Uno.

Aaaaand Trump just pulled Means' nomination and nominated Nicole B. Saphier as her replacement.

We’re listening to Raye’s album “This Music May Contain Hope” tonight. Why am I crying? Good lord. So beautiful and unique and such a breath of fresh air.

It’s a known issue, but I’m always caught off guard that as long as I’ve been on Zoom and Teams calls, I still haven’t learned to fix my face when the person who is supposed to be running the call is blisteringly incompetent.