Soapy Norris
@soapynorris.bsky.social
đ€ 839
đ„ 2340
đ 512
antigammon
Cockney weekender at the local. Having a sing song rahnd the joanna. Pie & mash was âandsome.
1 day ago
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When Trump dies, nobody will be holding his hand.
2 days ago
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Not everybody can fuck off as much as Laura Kuenssberg can fuck off. Laura Kuenssberg can fuck as far off as it is possible to fuck.
3 days ago
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reposted by
Soapy Norris
LeithMotive
3 days ago
I know it's not the main issue, but what's the FIFA protocol for when a host nation for a world cup attacks or declares war against a participating nation in the run up to the competition? especially when the head of the host nation is in receipt of your inaugural peace prize?
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Soapy Norris
Cold War Steve
4 days ago
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Soapy Norris
Tom Phillips
4 days ago
Matt "Good win"? More like Matt Cunt
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Hit: remembering you have a whole packet of chocolate digestives in the bread bin. Shit: opening the bread bin to realise your son found the chocolate digestives and in fact you have zero chocolate digestives.
9 days ago
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Iâm at my local non-league club for the local derby. Itâs muddy, itâs pissing down with rain, there are about 200 people here, balls keep getting hoofed over the fence, some people have brought their dogs. Itâs brilliant.
#properfootball
10 days ago
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Went to a record fair earlier, the price of entry included a mystery bag of six 7â singles. Just got home and played them, theyâre an interesting mixed bag (literally) of genres including rock n roll, disco, prog, pop and dogshit.
17 days ago
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I saw a post on
@fesshole.bsky.social
and thought oh for fuckâs sake I was going to submit the exact same thing, how has some other fucker stolen my confession? Then I remembered I had actually submitted it a week or two ago so that fucker was me. Iâm an idiot.
18 days ago
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I am currently grinding my way through season 5 of Stranger Things, and increasingly Iâve been feeling it wouldâve been better to have renamed the show The Same Fucking Things.
about 1 month ago
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Lego Jimmy Carr
about 1 month ago
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I hadnât seen any news today so probably a bit behind with this, but am proud to announce that before he died my grandad gave me his WW2 medals which means I stormed the beaches of Normandy on D Day.
about 2 months ago
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Rats from a sinking ship. From a sinking ship to a stinking shit.
about 2 months ago
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Top five video game duologies of all time that are perfect as they are and should be left alone without a third in case it spoils it Half-Life Portal Dishonored Red Dead Redemption and�
#Games
about 2 months ago
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Just started watching season 5 of stranger things and Iâm probably very late to the party but Iâd like to confirm that all the 25-30 year old teenagers are jolly convincing
about 2 months ago
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yeah well I just stood next to Siouxsie Sioux beat that
about 2 months ago
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Just went to text âdo you want anything from the barâ to my wife while not really looking at my thumb or the screen, thankfully noticed before I hit send that autocorrect had changed it to âdo you want anything glutton gut bagâ
about 2 months ago
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This risks undermining the dignity and stature of the FIFA peace prize
about 2 months ago
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Maybe losing bookings is something that should be easily foreseeable if you change your venueâs name from âThe Beloved National Icon Centerâ to âThe Racist Pedophile and Beloved National Icon Centerâ
2 months ago
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Iâve been to both old and new Wembley for both football and gigs. Old Wembley for football was best. New Wembley for a a gig was worst.
2 months ago
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Boxing Day menu: Sikandari Raan Hoisin Salmon Gammon with marmalade glaze Too many roast potatoes Red cabbage with apple, dates & sherry Carrots in maple & star anise Sprouts with chestnuts The European cheese mountain
2 months ago
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I posted earlier about my favourite moment of Jaws being a change in Robert Shawâs expression during the USS Indianapolis monologue. Three more favourite world-class non-verbal acting moments:
add a skeleton here at some point
2 months ago
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My favourite film is Jaws. My favourite scene is the USS Indianapolis monologue. My favourite line is âsometimes the shark heâd go away⊠sometimes he wouldnât go awayâ. The shift of expression half way through that line is my favourite 0.2 seconds in movie history.
2 months ago
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Xmas breakfast: leftover kebab and a ferrero rocher
2 months ago
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reposted by
Soapy Norris
crappystuffforjerks
2 months ago
Plagiarism is bad? Change a few words, that shit is yours. It's like when you change a baby's clothes- new baby. New baby that's yours now.
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The out of office is on. THE OUT OF OFFICE IS ON. Now whereâs the sherry
2 months ago
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Iâd avoided seeing the trailer for the new animated Animal Farm until just now, and if anything it looks even less faithful to the source material than the version my mate had on VHS in the 1980s
2 months ago
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George Michael was just the soundest bloke wasnât he
3 months ago
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The task was failed for me by somebody next to me announcing the result during the first half.
add a skeleton here at some point
3 months ago
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reposted by
Soapy Norris
born miserable
3 months ago
[on the set of Scarface] AL PACINO: say hello to my little friend [opens jacket to reveal a tiny kitten] DIRECTOR: son of a bitch CUT
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I am at the football today at the same time as the F1 is on. I am determined to remember to stay offline afterwards and not spoil the F1 result before I get home and watch it. I will not remember to stay offline afterwards and will spoil the F1 result before I get home and watch it.
3 months ago
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What the fuck even are the clanging chimes of doom?
#totp
3 months ago
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At school in our French textbooks there was a character called Monseieur Painchaud. It literally translates to âMr Hotbreadâ. But. Oh boy. There were a lot of kids in my school of Indian heritage. Words cannot even begin to describe how funny this name was for them. iykyk
3 months ago
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I can honestly say I have never wished for anyone to shit themselves to death live on tv while in the middle of a World Cup draw. Sorry not have, had.
3 months ago
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Remember when Sepp Blatter was president of FIFA, with all the staggeringly obvious, blatant corruption? And when he finally left and everyone thought well things can only get better? Then Gianni Infantino replaced him?
3 months ago
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I reckon within three years the tubs will only be visible under an electron microscope.
3 months ago
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Boom. That last sentence. Right there.
add a skeleton here at some point
3 months ago
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Greedy lying tory cunt in âgreedy lying Tory cuntâ shocka
add a skeleton here at some point
3 months ago
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Skoda 120 Citroen 2CV Morris Ital Austin Maestro Ford Cortina
add a skeleton here at some point
3 months ago
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As a child I was certain that spontaneous human combustion would be responsible for the deaths of far more of my elderly relatives than actually turned out to be the case
3 months ago
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Reform? Taking Russian money? Advancing Russian interests? But they said theyâre the patriotic ones. But they said.
www.bbc.co.uk/news/live/c8...
loading . . .
Ex-leader of Reform UK in Wales sentenced to 10-and-a-half years for taking pro-Russian bribes
The judge tells Nathan Gill his actions were a
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/live/c891403eddet
3 months ago
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Itâs now cold enough to keep the weekendâs beer nice and chilled on the back doorstep instead of taking up room in the fridge. However a local animal (or possibly very small child) is clearly not in favour of this and has elected to shit on the beer.
3 months ago
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I was watching Primal Scream at a festival once. Between songs Mani noodled a few notes of She Bangs The Drums. The crowd gave a massive cheer. A visibly annoyed Bobby Gillespie said âare you here to see Primal Scream or the fucking Stone Roses?â The crowd, almost as one, shouted âSTONE ROSES!â
3 months ago
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Fuck. Mani. Just⊠fucking fuck. RIP.
3 months ago
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Donât often get that invested in a Scotland football game. Fucking get in. Brilliant stuff.
3 months ago
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Bill Clinton has in his power right now the ability to create the greatest moment in comedy history, and all he needs to do is stand in front of a microphone and say âI did not have sexual relations with that manâ
4 months ago
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Itâs so telling when conservative types in the US threaten to investigate Epsteinâs ties to Democrats or liberals, as if thatâll make people say uh, actually letâs forget the whole thing. They expect liberals to back down to protect their own because that is what they do themselves. 1/
4 months ago
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You can keep your art nouveau steampunk tin, itâs own brand tennants super and itâs dreadful
4 months ago
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My father worked in the death industry. Famous people he laid his hands upon when they were dead include Marc Bolan, Kenny Everett and Freddie Mercury.
4 months ago
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