Me [stirring the melting ice cream into my tea]: soup :)

No, the two thin red lines on my shoulder are not scratches left by an overly enthusiastic vampire bat; I carried a heavy grocery bag yesterday and I am Delicate

[trying to think of something relatable to post] Prince Gremin's aria hits harder if he turns sharply to Onegin after delivering the final line, revealing he does understand the threat after all

Not now babe, my favorite Russian boy snuck a bit of Jekyll & Hyde into his performance of Epiphany from Sweeney Todd and now I'm thinking about how the way in which the world shatters us shapes the mask we wear to survive in it

Accidentally made eye contact with a guy who was in the midst of a devilish smile while talking on the phone. Sir what are we

Unfortunately I've discovered that my velvet leggings (plaid, christmas-y, commercial) are warmer than my other velvet leggings (royal blue, coordinating, élégant)

Not to alarm anyone, but there's a cat in the pomegranate tree

And now, testifying for the defense.... Miss! Evelyn! Nesbit!! ✨️

"Let's play house 🥰" but the house is haunted. Our laughter fills the kitchen, but the floorboards creak upstairs. We ignore it until we can't. Drawers slammed by hands unseen, cups thrown, knives thrown. To the basement, we agree, frantic. This is not an allegory. We're still down here. Send help

A perfume that smells like the whir of a cassette tape before the audio starts, black coffee at 11 pm, a box of scrawled notes written in faded ink, a half-eaten doughnut, and the urge to look out the window into the darkness, just in case

"Let's play house 🥰" but the house is haunted. Our laughter fills the kitchen, but the floorboards creak upstairs. We ignore it until we can't. Drawers slammed by hands unseen, cups thrown, knives thrown. To the basement, we agree, frantic. This is not an allegory. We're still down here. Send help

Am I to be forced to deal with a new Outlook icon on top of everything

I dreamed I wrote a post that went extremely viral, but unfortunately I can't remember what it was--when I tried to look at it in my dream, the original post wouldn't load and all I could see were the comments. I'm sure this means... something

me: today I will embody the spirit of autumn, all shades of changing leaves & evergreens, chic layers, warm and effortless my mirror: keebler elf

the demon haunting me: YOU'RE MINE me: oh my god, no way, so... you like me?

[already wearing two sweaters] let me go put on my sweater

A perfume that smells like the gentle click clack of knitting needles, tinny voices from an old radio play, too much berry jam heaped onto scones, and the whistle of a kettle about to boil

Can I get an awoo

A perfume that smells like waking up to soft sunlight filtered through sheer curtains, the pages of an aged book still open on your bedside table, floorboards smudged with chalk traced in peculiar patterns, and the familiar smile of an old friend

I stay correct

As soon as I have lunch. I'm going to see whether the vampire ballet nightmare in Tanz der Vampire really is as directly inspired by the Oklahoma dream sequence as I think it is

Seeing Oklahoma for the first time since childhood is wild. I thought it was all corn fields and relationship rivalry, but the actual text is like, Curly: I'm gonna go talk to that incel Curly: hey Judd. nice porn Judd: thanks Curly: kys :)

Me: what even are my hobbies Also me [10 seconds into a Russian Edgar Allen Poe musical]: wait do they not have an idiomatic translation of "nevermore"

Bad news there's an ant up my sleeve

Ladies, before settling down with a high priest whose ambitions stray from the holy, ask yourself: does he want to sacrifice *with* you? Or does he want to sacrifice you? If you're not sure, you're the lamb. Stay safe out there ladies

Every few months now I re-read this "Who Goes Nazi?" piece from 1941 and am blown away by how it captures the people we are dealing with 80 years later. harpers.org/archive/1941...

It has been 0 days since I've asked my littlest dog if he knows how little he is

Merriam-Webster you scared me

Once more I have seen the count go out in his lizard fashion

I will never be on a top engagement list because I am a small pinecone on the ground

So offline that I didn't know about the rapture and now idk what to wear

Frankly it's more like you're in his dms, I'm on five sketchy websites trying to track down bootleg recordings of a russian folklore musical featuring my beloved kingpriest as a slutty victorian dad

You're in his dms, I'm singing the haunting melody that will lure him to a watery grave. We are not the same

It would be a war crime for me to gatekeep the recipe for this coffee cake. It’s so good and so easy it must be widely known and used.

The only thing hotter than growly boys becoming opera boys is opera boys becoming growly boys

Yes I have planned a cute little outfit around getting my updated covid shot this afternoon. And what of it

BY the way, I am a year older now. Here is me & my little birthday bear

If she's your girl, why is she securing a carefully penned scroll to the leg of the messenger crow sent in secret by the dark mage you exiled

Hm what if I post as if nothing else is happening in the world rn. Maybe that's the Way

✨timeline cleanse✨ quote this with your favorite tumblr post

I have once again forgotten how to post!! Everybody send your remember-how-to-post energy my way, please

“Bake me a cake as fast as you can” is an unhinged demand.

i do understand these days why "writing correspondence" was a whole distinct activity for historical nobles. i too need 1-3 hours a day to sit down and just respond to my texts and emails and mayhap draft notes to people of my acquaintance.

Worth remembering that any time I refer to "it happening," I'm talking about hearing the leathery fluttering of wings outside my window after having cast away all those pesky garlic flower garlands

Me at 21 (I haven't seen these in years... clearly it was mustache era)

Sorry I haven't been posting lately. I was trapped in an amulet for a minute there but now I'm out and tbh it wasn't even a big deal or anything

Probably the closest I've come to receiving a divine message was last night when I didn't know what to eat, opened the freezer door, and a package of gyoza fell directly into my hand

Remembering the time I gave my ex a gardenia-scented candle and he thought it was a made-up scent because how could there be a flower called GARDEN-ia

Me and who

So I've started knitting a crop top. That's something