And they shall know me by the trail of sarcastic comments that are kinda funny but also kinda mean.

I switched to YouTube Music this year so this is my last Spotify wrapped.

Blue Bobber! That’s fun. Alliterative.

By god that's Norman Osborn's music

Me rn

Thanos > Darkseid I will not be taking questions.

BOSS: hey you’re focused on getting that report together, right? ME: ya sure MY BRAIN (on a loop): Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-basketball, gimme, gimme, gimme the ball because I'm gonna DUNK IT!

Gary Larson posted a handful of new Farside strips this week and they’re delightful www.thefarside.com/new-stuff/36...

Look at this lil guy

Logging on (to work)

Roses are red Violets are too Everything’s red My optic blasts defeated you - Scott Summers

My review of Godzilla Minus One. Tl;dr if you don’t like this movie then fuck you. defector.com/six-things-y...

Kilmer was the best Batman. You can’t change my mind.

RIP to the sentence “Here, let me Google that for you,” the single most useful clapback of the 00s and 10s, killed by Google becoming absolutely useless for discovering any correct information whatsoever

I’m rewatching We Love Time before the new season starts and I honestly can’t even tell if this show is any good.

The Hollywood strike forces a reckoning for the trades: defector.com/the-hollywoo...

Clouds

my girlfriend, who is a ghost, just broke up with me because she was tired of me saying "bustin' makes me feel good" after sex

[muppet nuclear test site] Beaker: Meh meh meh meh meh. Meh meh meh meh meh meh. Dr. Bunsen Honeydew: Indeed, Beaker. The destroyer of worlds.

The only way to free myself from the witches curse is to kiss someone before midnight! But no one wants to kiss a talking goat!

Let’s play two truths and a lie. 1. You couldn’t pay me to vote for Donald Trump 2. I think it’s pretty funny he’s finally been indicted for crimes we all literally watched him commit in plain sight. 3. I was born on Mars.

Legend had some gross practical effects that haunted 5yo me.

My poor half elf Bard Llewyn almost died in an oubliette today. Thanks to some quick thinking (yelling at the DM), and clever tactics (crying like a baby), he survived! And now we know better than to teleport in the tomb of the nine gods.

In the mood to do a crime. But which one? So many to choose from.

I’ve never fought for anything in my entire life, I’m fighting for this hat.

@imvanessa.bsky.social you must write the best poem you can that includes the words “tuba”, “bloom”, and “ham”. You have five minutes. Your time starts now.

People ask why I constantly bully and demean @imvanessa.bsky.social @johnnybarnstorm.bsky.social and @fullyloadednachos.bsky.social and the truth is, they love it. They crave the attention from their Taskmaster. And they have to take it if they want to win this golden bust of my head.

Currently developing crushes on Taskmaster contestants. Hello Series 5.

Fantastic movie. Stunning animation. Beautiful story. Absolutely bonkers soundtrack.

Absolutely hilarious, just a comedy of errors. https://www.cnn.com/2023/08/09/politics/special-counsel-trump-twitter-search-warrant/index.html

This morning I was singing a song to my cat kind of loosely based on the theme from the Flash Gordon movie. “You’re a cat! Meooooooooow! You’re a kitty cat! MEEEOOOOWWWWW!” She loved it. I could tell because her tail got super poofy and she ran circles around the house.

What if I just think it’s funny when Trump gets indicted for crimes he’s definitely committed

apropos of nothing

Happy new indictment day!

I woke up this morning, saw the Twitter app had changed to X and just hit delete. I wonder how many other people did the same.

Food $200 Data $150 Rent $800 Licensing old Dril tweets $$3,600 Utility $150 Someone who is good at the economy please help me my family is dying

Watching Jaws with the family last night - Teenage Daughter: this is too scary (would rather be watching criminal minds and serial killer docs on YouTube in her room) Preteen Son: HAHA YES EAT ‘EM ALL JAWS LETS GOOOO (doesn’t sleep for the rest of the night)