For sale: bride to be sash, never worn.

I seem to remember on a recent episode of @warmovietheatre.com you asked "is Predator a war movie? Well it's on 4seven tonight, should I watch it for future reference? 😜😂📽️

The State of The Union Shot Game™️ Choose a word & take a shot of Mexican tequila or Canadian whiskey every time DJT says it. Choose wisely, eg Biden might cause liver failure. So what word are you choosing? I'm going to go with Beautiful #SOTU

A massive monday mandy comedown, but for once i feel great

This week I 'ave mostly been talking bollocks

I lamented Little Chef when it went bust. I thought we would never be able to buy an overly priced mediocre full English again. Fortunately my town now has many establishments providing this service

Let's try this again 👋 Hi Bluesky - I'm Massachusetts' Attorney General. You might know me from suing President Trump nearly 50 times, beating Uber and Lyft in court, or being the first woman of color elected to statewide office in MA. I officially left X today - help me find my MA people?

my local park has finally employed a lifeguard

Waitrose are doing a sale on their gravies & their jus. Some GREAT reductions.

These two women are suing Andrew Tate, alleging he raped them. Here they visit the social media companies that created Tate. Please share. *one voice altered to disguise identity

Yesterday my friend told me about her PHILOSOPHY students all using ai for their assignments and like come the fuck on man you’re in Uni doing the subject thats Thinking about Thinking and u refuse to Think

She works at Marks & Spencer’s La la la Lech Walesas

Hello! I’m Gail, a one woman business, based in #Manchester My online shop is full of bold & colourful prints, homewares, cards and t-shirts. Have a look gailmyerscough.co.uk

and don't drink all your wine before the tasting starts!

nobody got Lola a valentine card 😥😜😂♥️

first appointment today, lovely couple. The wife took a shine to my telescopic ladder so i jokingly suggested to the the husband that he buy her one for Valentine's day. I think he's going to 😂♥️ #ValentinesDay

I cannot stress enough how enjoyable it is to deprive that withered old cunt of your money. Waterstones, Argos, Boots - it is so easy to get whatever you need, and it feels kinda fun, like taking a holiday in 90s Britain

I tried to take a photo of a grasshopper on my windshield, but now it looks like a gigantic bug destroying the town.

as we're all fed up of paying subscriptions to companies who pay pathetic royalties to artists, this ironically, is the future.

The flame that burns Twice as bright burns half as long. Sadly true. Now Watching Arena, Caroline Aherne: Queen of Comedy: www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m001ty35 via @bbciplayer

for 45 years I drank tea. then for the last 10 years it's been coffee. Following a trip to Sri Lanka, I'm back on the tea. My wife wants us to go to Columbia soon 😜😂♥️💚💛 #TeaOrCoffee

if you want your troops to be successful in war, it is important to get them angry before battle

fecked my gear box so the wife & Lola kindly took me to my jobs today which meant that the six times i got back in the car i was treated to a little head cuddle and an ear clean! 😂💜

not seen any of them so going in from the beginning 28 Days Later #watching #fimsky

hey @netflix.com I've got an idea for a show. We get all the men named in the Epstein files, fly them to his island & make them live together whilst you film them big brother style. Day 4 on Pedo Island & Elon's accused Donny of stealing his vaseline...

Norwegian veterans raising money for equipment for Ukraine. Heroes helping heroes Slava Ukraini 💙💛 ♥️🤍💙 @veteranaidukraine.bsky.social vaukraine.com

Hundreds of people spelled out the distress signal "SOS" on Bde Maka Ska in Minneapolis on Friday, Jan. 30. 📷️ Provided by Jeff Schad

I'm watching this as a metaphor where the dudes are Trump & Musk, the bouncer is Biden & the chair is the Epstein files

oh, & despite his apology, it didn't stop him hiring private invesigators to try & get some dirt on Vernon, which of course they couldn't www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/...

just checked & Vernon Unsworth's name isn't in the Epstein files!!! Oh yes that's right, because he's an actual hero & not a shit stirring twat time.com/5341647/elon...

of course it's only a Bidet if it was made in the Bidet region of France, otherwise its just a sparkling bum shine

he so reminds me of Phillip Seymour Hoffman in Hunger Games, looking like hes about to die while shouting More Floggings, More Executions... Although I'm failing to see the bit where he's actually been on the resistance's side all along

‘Liars Tale’ is OUT NOW, check out the video on Youtube... stick it on full volume!🔥 Produced by the legendary Dan Carey, and on Heavenly Recordings, ‘FENIAN’ is out in the world on April 24th to mark the 110th anniversary of the Easter Rising. 💚🤍🧡 Pre-order now... KNEECAP.lnk.to/LiarsTale

I can't stop singing this quote in my head in the style of that bloody Bryan Adams song. Send help 😂

Ever since seeing one of the best films of all time many years ago, whenever i see or hear this word I automatically shout FUCK YEAH! Which is fine as long as you're not in a sweet shop surrounded by children! oops 😜😂 #TeamAmerica #FilmSky

Lola is very competitive 💜

popped into my local chinese supermarket for some soy sauce & went a bit crazy. When i told the woman on the counter she insisted I have these chocolates for free ♥️💛

The killing of Alex Pretti is a heartbreaking tragedy. It should also be a wake-up call to every American, regardless of party, that many of our core values as a nation are increasingly under assault.

When I find myself in times of trouble I post pictures of Lola &me Eating puppy ice cream By the sea

there was a twat at school who used to always threaten to get his tough big brother to come to school & do us over every time we called him out for being a twat. We never got to meet his brother

The people of Malta were awarded the George Cross for their bravery under Nazi occupation. Wouldn't it be great if the people of Minnesota were awarded something for their efforts. A Nobel Peace prize would be nice 😜

to quote Mr C, Now this is not the end. It is not even the beginning of the end. But it is, perhaps, the end of the beginning Thank you Minnesota

Sex Pest Specs 🤮

just remembered why i like drinking. wanted to buy this @kneecapceol.bsky.social @bfcdublin.bsky.social shirt this morning but when i got to the checkout i froze! just got home after 6 pints and it's on its way 😜😂💚🤍🧡 www.shop-bohemianfc.com/collections/...

omg i bloody love a bargain but this is ridiculous. 6 plant balls, chips, peas, coffee & fizzy water £2.24!!!! at Ikea with loyalty card. Less than the price of a crap sandwich 😋😁♥️

Seen a lot of people on here complaining about the Reform Manifesto, including criticism of the actual writing itself, saying it's clunky & unfeeling. To those people can I assure you, if you read it in it's original Russian, it's a beautiful piece of prose

Not necessarily a massive fan of Michael O’Leary but he is the perfect advisory for Elon Musk, as you just can’t insult the man. His skin is thicker than a billionaires hair transplant & anything you throw at him will be turned back on you as a piss take.

I remember my brother putting Arsenic & Old Lace on & saying It's a Black Comedy I'd never heard the term before, & the idea that you could make a slapstick comedy about subjects such as murder & insanity sounded like the best thing ever to this 6 year old kid. And it was. Happy Birthday Cary Grant