Just accidentally drank from the rinse cup and dipped my brush in a White Claw. Fuck.

Light beats ICE, or something.

Y’all tell ‘em Thomas Kinkade said FUCK ICE.

Trump getting Jimmy Kimmel fired is bad but not as bad as whatever is inside the Epstein files.

What are y’all reading this weekend?

Fuck these ghouls. Also, quit using my art.

Be the art you want to see in the world. Someone famous once said that. Probably me.

I’M THE PAINTER OF COORS LIGHT!

I’M THE PAINTER OF COORS LIGHT!

He’s keeping it loose He’s keeping it tight He’s universally loved He’s the Painter of Light Thomas Kinkade’s coming to town

He’s keeping it loose He’s keeping it tight He’s universally loved He’s the Painter of Light Thomas Kinkade’s coming to town

Not sure what to paint today. Oh, that’s right. Another goddamn masterpiece.

Not sure what to paint today. Oh, that’s right. Another goddamn masterpiece.

Re: “The Christmas Shoes,” by the band NewSong. A lot of people don’t know that these were the shoes he was buying. That kid was a total perv.

Re: “The Christmas Shoes,” by the band NewSong. A lot of people don’t know that these were the shoes he was buying. That kid was a total perv.

It rarely happens because they’re so valuable, but if I ever see one of my paintings in a thrift store, I buy it back and resell it for full price. Then I find the person who donated it and we have a little “talk.”

That Barenaked Ladies song about chimpanzees is a riot. I keep skipping back to the beginning every time it’s about to end. #IhaveaCDplayer

It rarely happens because they’re so valuable, but if I ever see one of my paintings in a thrift store, I buy it back and resell it for full price. Then I find the person who donated it and we have a little “talk.”

If you’re not listening to Phillips, Craig and Dean, what the hell is wrong with you?

Pro-tip for people with elderly relatives: Write your name on a piece of tape and stick it to the back of their Thomas Kinkade works of art. When those relatives die, no one will question your right to those high-quality masterpieces. You’re welcome.

On this #GivingTuesday, give yourself the gift of a Thomas Kinkade work of fine art, including paintings, framed prints, ceramic figurines, calendars, and high-quality mousepads.

On this #GivingTuesday, give yourself the gift of a Thomas Kinkade work of fine art, including paintings, framed prints, ceramic figurines, calendars, and high-quality mousepads.

Pro-tip for people with elderly relatives: Write your name on a piece of tape and stick it to the back of their Thomas Kinkade works of art. When those relatives die, no one will question your right to those high-quality masterpieces. You’re welcome.

If you’re not listening to Phillips, Craig and Dean, what the hell is wrong with you?

AI art is a joke that no one laughs at.

BOB ROSS WAS A HACK.

BOB ROSS WAS A HACK.

Hey Thomas, don't forget to stay away from Winnie the Pooh today and every day. He's still upset about the whole thing.

Thomas Kinkade what’s your favorite Tooth & Nail band

Painter of light? More like painter of spite.

My favorite part about being followed by @thomaskinkade.bsky.social is that he died in 2012. Bluesky is where you can talk to ghosts! 👻

Tell your mom, it's a Thanksgiving miracle. He has returned.

Scott gets it.

I’d forgotten all about this! Probably because of the glue. Big Tent Revival still rocks.

Let’s just say I know another man — super good looking and wildly talented as well — who had 12 followers. Feels like I’m in good company. 😎

Just accidentally drank from the rinse cup and dipped my brush in a White Claw. Fuck.

This remains one of my Kinkade favortites.

Happy Thanksgiving to everyone who still has my paintings hanging in their home. No one else.