I'm at a hotel in Cambridge. The room service menu is extortionate and even though it's work I'm a cheapskate. Have it been known that if this was our last night on earth, I had salt and vinegar crisps for dinner with a can of cider. If breakfast exists in the morning it will be enjoyed.

Has Keir Starmer said anything about 'it' yet? TBH, though, if I were PM right now I'd be in the stationary cupboard with a couple of pencils up my nose saying "wibble" over and over again.

That's insane. It's a full terror clown day..

What was that James Bond movie when all the best assassins were all sent on the same job? A Roger Moore one I think? I think we need them now..

"History will judge-" let me stop you right fucking there, history doesn't do fucking shit, I'm a historian, let's be clear here: elected officials need to do their fucking jobs, right now, before it happens, or future historians will judge THEM. Everyone knows and knew who Trump was.

I'm supposed to drive to Cambridge this evening for a three day conference. Should I bother?

The IDF announced it has hit eight bridges in Iran.

Israel has started strikes against Iranian rail infrastructure after telling civilians to avoid train travel. (Fox)

i think if you tweet "a whole civilization will die tonight" you shouldn't go to the hague, the hague should get to come to you

I have to say, 2026 is not doing much for my anxiety..

Once again, nobody in America has the guts. He's doing what he does with your permission. You are collectively responsible for his actions now.

Anyone who contributed to this event - the politicians and journalists who normalised him or submitted to his narratives, around the world - should hang their fucking heads in shame. They've put us in the most dangerous geopolitical situation for a generation and left a people at risk of genocide.

I mean. I can't criticise them.

“It’s difficult to cover him in a way that conveys how unhinged he is. Journalists are trained to be like, ‘OK, what did he say that was newsworthy?’ So you convey that to your audience. But in reality, when you actually watch, you see he's full of hatred, lying constantly, and very incoherent.”

Matt Goodwin, ex-academic & failed Reform candidate in Gorton & Denton, is in the pay of Viktor Orbán's authoritarian regime in Hungary. Goodwin for all his rhetoric about 'national sovereignty' and 'taking back control' is in the pay of a foreign government.

We all agree on something.

One of them hides. Other three pretend there never was a fourth crew member. This works best if the one in hiding has a twin back on Earth who can pop up in the control room and shout “surprise!”

Something I don't think the UK boasts about enough - and a great rebuttal to Reform and the Tories' anti-net zero propaganda: The UK is home to 7 out of the top 10 biggest offshore wind farms in the world. 10 of the top 20. And 6 in 10 of the largest ones in the world currently under construction.

Weren't a bunch of Tories in this..? www.theguardian.com/world/2026/a...

Gosh. The doorbell rang and it was our local Reform council candidate or canvasser. He said in a friendly way "Oh I know you from the village, hello." I wasn't prepared for my anger. "I told to get out, get off my drive" and slammed the door. I see I need to do some anger management..quite shaken..

129 tonnes of gold. Fuck me. Imagine that heist.

A huge new dining room you say? Well this is a little too on-the-nose...

Dear media, when the President of the U.S. uses words like ‘fuck’ and ‘bastards’ it’s your duty to quote them accurately, no matter what your ‘rules’ about using them yourselves are. Stop the euphemisms. Don’t say ‘drop the F bomb’.

This is a great bit of writing.

This can’t be allowed to continue. It just can’t.

BREAKING: Trump skipped all three scheduled Easter masses he was meant to attend today. Something is wrong with the president and the White House is keeping it from us.

You know that was a tough gardening afternoon when you realise you had to use every one of these. #gardening

Maybe always giving the special boy what he wants isn't a sensible way to run a complex society?

Looking forward to the BBC being able to say the word 'fucking' on the news.

I'm beginning to think we are sending the King to the US knowing it's nailed on that Trump will humiliate him / us in front of the whole world, and that's a political judgement in favour of the government.

So he's not dead then

Uh oh, accidentally immolated my hot cross bun. This one will never rise again..

speed-running the end of effectively global hegemony, because you think Gilead is a more attractive option, is without doubt the biggest mistake of the 21st century so far. and that includes deciding to make the TV series That Must Not Be Named.

But we need more oil yea..

One day, "It" will happen, by which I mean sudden and unexpected news that you want to celebrate. In such cases, you will want the right outfit. 🧵

So the mad king won't be available all weekend for press, and the US has stopped satellite providers from sharing images over swathes of the middle east including Gaza and Lebanon.

Particularly alarming that this includes Lebanon & Gaza. I had just shared imagery from March 18 showing the demolition of villages along the southern border of Lebanon by the IDF and now not even that imagery is available: bsky.app/profile/godi... Mass demolitions haven't stopped in Gaza, either.

𝗠𝗔𝗥𝗞 𝗥𝗢𝗧𝗛𝗞𝗢, Untitled (Earth and green), 1955 Oil on canvas 231.5×187 cm 📸 sunlightintheleaves submitted to me on Tumblr © 1998 Kate Rothko Prizel and Christopher Rothko/ Artists Rights Society (ARS), New York ☼𝙻𝚒𝚗𝚔𝚜 𝚒𝚗 𝚋𝚒𝚘

This is correct. Also, people are spending less time staring at the scrolling abyss. Given, you know, the world .. 👀

I'm an avowed atheist. But this is proper Popeing. Good work.

Oh, that's better. I've just spent three hours digging out some errant bamboo, face down in the soil. Dirt in my hair, ears, and down the arse of my jeans. I love Easter #gardening How are you doing @jamiepatt.bsky.social?

I think a lot of Bluesky users are in the demographic of “people who simply will stop using social media entirely if all the text-based social platforms that aren’t run by unrepentant Nazis (like this one) go away,” myself very much included

I can now reveal that crypto billionaire Ben Delo—pardoned by Trump after a conviction for anti-money-laundering violations—privately funded the failed libel action brought against me by neo-Nazi conspiracy theorists Nina Power and Daniel Miller to the tune of at least £300,000.

If you were the pendulum for my late 19th-century French strike clock, which you have delivered to the clockmaker for repair already.. where would you be? How can you lose a bloody clock pendulum, you idiot! (it me). Small, brass, round-ish.. not bloody anywhere and kind of important ffs.

I mean, going round the moon and coming back without stopping off for chips is kind of pointless really? Like getting a cab all around the M25 for the ride.

People seem to be very cross that a new MP said a few things that MPs might say to be popular for their voters. A storm in an egg cup.

People are losing sight of the true meaning of Easter.” Said the Archbishop of Cadbury…

I think the North Atlantic Treaty Organization should be a society of epicuirists who share culinary treats at annual restaurant summits.

When Trump and Putin are stopped, and yes I put them together now, and Brexit is repaired, historians will look back on the period of 2015 to say, 2030? As a time the world once again defeated facism. You don't realize you are experiencing history until afterwards.