Your Favorite LeBron’s Favorite LeBron. Hint: it's not his son.

Google Abandons Search and AI Business; Starts Murdering Artists Directly

Big dog, your body is a wonderland.

It is that time of the week again where we shill our dead newsletter that has 8 subscribers, 3 of which are our moms. If you want to decrease your free tier email storage by a few KB each month in the future then subscribe here: www.5thquartersports.com/subscribe

Logan Paul to Box Mayweather, Holyfield, and Ruiz At The Same Time. His death will be live streamed on Netflix.

Wemby. That is all

I'd like to apologise for this

Opening a Hooters but for asses. I'd call it Shitters but then noone would order food.

BREAKING: After notifying the UFC of his retirement, Colby Covington has announced that he is joining AEW and the Don Callis Family.

BREAKING: Florida federal judge unseals Lane Kiffin's files in the new Ole Miss accusations #LanestienFiles

The NBA drawn fire after announcing a partnership with Palantir for a new data analytics platform that tracks players on and off the court.

The Future of Football www.thedrawplay.com/comic/the-fu...

Butte College alumni Aaron Rodgers has announced that his short-lived retirement is over, and that he is returning to the Steelers as their quarterback for another season.

You're telling me a crab gooned into this rag?

You're telling me they're making the Ams Pan now?

Not all heroes hit vapes

It was a great weekend. Me and the boys went out binge thinking

Don Callis will not rest until the family is over 20 members.

#DraftKings announces partnership with my Grandma. She's parlayed my inheritance away. The same-game-parlay is the modern day black plague.

The Golden State Valkyries nod in silence as the Bay Area mourns the loss of its sports teams. The Raiders left. The A's left. But hey, at least we have #WNBA basketball now.

This is our Jr. Writer. He's just entered the 1st grade and he's already questioning the reign of Adam Silver. Very impressive indeed.

Crazy how Loud Gehrig released that disease onto the world

#76ers star Joel Embiid fined $50K for whispering "6-7" during the Celtics game. He then flossed and teabagged Lucky the Leprechaun. #NBA

Mahomes. Bosa. Parsons. Hill. We consulted Tonya Harding to get to the bottom of the #NFL's ACL epidemic. The answer? Today's players are just soft. #NFL

#Giants QB Jackson Dart was so concussed that he accidentally spelled his name "Jackson".

Illumination Magazine on Medium just posted my 2-minute read, "True Believers From the Three Abrahamic Religions Really Believe: They Are So Sure They Plot to Trigger Armageddon." If you like it, please clap for it. Click & hold the applause button to fast-clap. medium.com/illumination...

You must be this young to coach an #NFL team. Roger Goodell, we beg you: the NFL needs age limits before Congress gets theirs. If you can't complete a 440, maybe retire.

#Bengals QB Joe Burrow was forced to come out as heterosexual after a break-in revealed he has a girlfriend. He's reportedly "deeply troubled" about losing his mysterious, metrosexual vibe.

BREAKING: #ThursdayNightFootball is moving from Amazon Prime to Blockbuster Video. The only store left in Bend, Oregon will stream games outside. Pack your bags. #NFL #TNF

The Savannah Bananas are the Harlem Globetrotters for Duke fans

DEVELOPING: Sherrone Moore is in a low-speed chase on the 405 in a White Bronco after being fired from #Michigan. Are college football coaches okay? #CFB #GoBlue

BREAKING: White South African refugees to join BYU men's basketball team. The team was excited to finally have some diversity. #NBA #NCAA

BREAKING: In response to record inflation Jerome Powell cuts price of hotdogs at MLB stadiums nationwide. www.5thquartersports.com/article/base...

#Timberwolves star Anthony Edwards should just go for it and tell his children he loves them. Small children have no idea when you're lying to them. #NBA

The War in Iran? The impending invasion of Cuba? The Epstein Files? The stratification of the American caste system? It's all a distraction for the Cowboys Vs Giants NFL season open in September, the saddest matchup possible.

I've been playing Fantasy Football for 10 years. All in the same league. I've never won once. Not a single time. The #Eagles just locked in my 11th loss.

BREAKING: #MLB writers handed Aaron Judge the MVP before the season even started. This wasn't voting. This was muscle memory. Cal Raleigh was robbed.

Wemby is going hard

This isnt wrong, but its also wrong? Doug Christie and the players did what they were supposed to. Its the people above them that kept that stupid ass roster not only through the summer but through February. Players and coaches couldnt care less about the draft. They're fighting for their lives

What has 14 balls and fucks Kings fans? The NBA lottery.

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BREAKING: The Sacramento #Kings preemptively announce that they're out of the 2027 season playoffs.

Sacramento got the 7th pick. The #Kings are cursed for another thousand years.

The NBA draft lottery is in 2 hours. Darryn Peterson is the #King's last shot at greatness for a millennia, he is the blood sacrifice they desperately need. #NBASky www.5thquartersports.com/article/bask...

Well it took YEARS in the making but the Dallas #Mavericks and the United States of America might collapse in the same week.

Major Canvas hack ongoing? We investigated the NCAA Transfer Portal hack last year and how that affected student athletes across the country. www.5thquartersports.com/article/foot...

BREAKING: After returning to a strategic role at Google to head the Gemini program, Larry Page announces that he is pivoting to become the next head coach of the football program at Michigan, his undergraduate alma mater.

We are pivoting from sports media to findom. It is much more profitable.

Philip Rivers, 44-year-old grandfather, is coming out of retirement for the Colts. My dad is also coming out of retirement, but because of Bitcoin. #NFL