BREAKING: Owner of the Los Angeles #Clippers Offer God Trade, Ben Simmons For Pass To Heaven. Critics Call It One Sided. https://www.5thquartersports.com/article/basketball/breaking-owner-of-sixers-offer-god-trade-ben-simmons-for-pass-to-heaven-critics-call-it-one-sided/

BREAKING: Matt Stafford has unretired.

BREAKING: #Rams QB Matt Stafford announces retirement after achieving goal of pick-six record. #NFL #NFLMemes

REPORT: The #Kings are waiving their entire roster and moving to 10-day contracts only. This includes coaches. Longevity is not the play. #NBA https://www.5thquartersports.com/article/basketball/report-kings-to-waive-entire-roster-moving-to-10-day-contracts-includes-coaches/

BREAKING: 5th Quarter Sports investigates he Sacramento #Kings use of the Pizza Guys franchise as a way to circumvent the #NBA salary cap. https://www.5thquartersports.com/article/basketball/extra-cheese-no-cap-inside-the-sacramento-kings-alleged-pizza-guys-payroll-scandal/

BREAKING: Zohran Mamdani becomes #NFL Commissioner on January 1st after Rodger Goodell was found in the #EpsteinFiles www.5thquartersports.com/article/foot...

The Bills calling the tush push after voting to ban it

Popovich: “Any trade for Wembanyama must include mint-condition holographic Blastoise.”

We Rank The Bars That You Go to On Christmas to Watch The Cowboys. #NFL #NFLMemes open.substack.com/pub/5thquart...

LeBron James caught up in #NoKings protests after Billups, Rozier arrest. The #NBA is definitely NOT rigged. Especially after the 2002 Western Conference Finals.

Which #NFL players are most likely to be the next Unibomber? We analyzed schooling, upbringing, and hobbies. This is empirical science. You won't guess number 1.

#Timberwolves star Anthony Edwards should just go for it and tell his children he loves them. Small children have no idea when you're lying to them. #NBA

BREAKING: #Bills QB Josh Allen announces retirement in the first quarter against the #Eagles. #NFL

How it feels to watch the #Raiders

BREAKING: #MLB writers handed Aaron Judge the MVP before the season even started. This wasn't voting. This was muscle memory. Cal Raleigh was robbed.

BREAKING: The #49ers are building a $1.2 billion practice facility in Hartford, Connecticut. Kyle Shanahan: "I'm not entirely sure why... but I suppose it might get used."

BREAKING: #Ravens QB Lamar Jackson announces his retirement after his recent injury.

An UNBIASED ranking of all 30 #MLB stadiums by someone who has been to all of them. Spoiler: Oakland is last. Fenway is first. Fight me.

The #Dodgers Luxury Tax owed to the #MLB surpasses the GDP of Uzbekistan at $169M.

Precious Achiuwa based on the novel Push, by Sapphire. #Kings #NBASky

BREAKING: #Chargers QB Justin Herbert announces retirement mid-game. #NFL

The #Kings will NOT trade Zach LaVine. Anyone pushing this narrative is funded by Russian disinformation campaigns and techno-oligarchs. We have the receipts. #NBA

Houston strip club owners petition the #Rockets to keep James Harden. 'The damage to the local economy could be devastating.' #NBA

I really wish David Foster Wallace was alive to see the Pop-Tarts Bowl.

BREAKING: The #NBA and #NFL ban essential oils and classify them as PEDs. Our mothers were right all along. www.5thquartersports.com/article/misc...

Adam Silver announces that #NBA refs are allowed to bet on Games. 'He also said the Department Of NBA Efficiency (DONE) intends to restructure other aspects of the league’s operation...'

#DraftKings has partnered with the Harlem Globetrotters. #PrizePicks has partnered with CoComelon. The future is awesome.

Drafting #Rams QB Matt Stafford in the first round was NOT a waste. I praise Elmo every morning that he isn't on the Lions.

We enter the mind of a Buffalo #Bills fan in their pre-game ritual. It is graceful, glorious, and somehow peaceful.

BREAKING: #Clippers player Ben Simmons to become moderator of the /r/antiwork subreddit. We support his evangelization of the #antiwork movement.

THE BOSTON CELTICS ABSOLUTELY SHOULD HAVE PLAYED TODAY.

#Dodgers Luxury Tax Surpasses GDP of Uzbekistan. open.substack.com/pub/5thquart...

#76ers star Joel Embiid fined $50K for whispering "6-7" during the Knicks game. He then flossed and teabagged Lucky the Leprechaun. #NBA

Low hanging fruit is gonna get picked #Skol

BREAKING: The Endzones in today's #Vikings vs #Lions game will feature the phrase: "Release the Full Epstein Files." Very brave of the #NFL.

BREAKING: Phoenix #Suns player Devin Booker has ringworm. And its BAD.

#5 on the list is "The Dive Bar That Lets You Smoke In It." There's somehow still a 20in CRT in there. On it? The #Cowboys winning and my sad, sad reflection.

#Giants QB Jackson Dart was so concussed that he accidentally spelled his name "Jackson".

Merry Fucking Christmas. We rank all of the bars that are open on Christmas that you can watch the #Cowboys lose at.

5th Quarter Sports suddenly barred From white house press briefings. Our reporting was the only thing connecting the White House to the world of Sports Entertainment.

X adds a slop generator? Babes I've been on bsky making human slop for months.

The #Kings need to play the Markelle Fultz strategy. Pickup injured Darryn Peterson, then trade him a year later. It's Kings basketball baby. #NBASky www.5thquartersports.com/article/bask...

Carson Wentz makes a big play for his home state, plans to form a North Dakota #NFL team. Can an owner also play for their team...?

Jerome Powell cuts the cost of a hotdog by a quarter of a percentage point at all #MLB stadiums. The hotdog machine has been going 'brrr' for far too long.

Adam Silver announces that #NBA refs are allowed to bet on Games. 'He also said the Department Of NBA Efficiency (DONE) intends to restructure other aspects of the league’s operation...'

☝🏼😌 Win or lose: #Suns 🎄🏀🌹

This year's Tenkaichi will be held on the grounds of the White House. This year's will feature prominent UFC fighters.

Tonight's Sacramento #Kings game features a crisis hotline overlay.