Trump to the UN: I am the very model of a model major-general. I'm very good at integral and differential calculus; I know the scientific names of beings animalculous: In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral, I am the very model of a modern Major-General.

Me: These weeds are out of control. Something must be done! 1 month later: It is the yard’s responsibility to control these weeds. 2 months late: I sent a stiff letter with many hard questions about the weed situation. I expect results! 3 months later: We have a bipartisan dandelion plan.

You can let Schumer and Jeffries tell you who to vote for or you can win.

He is saying dissent is illegal. Criticism is treason.

Old Man Yells At Clouds

They think we are very stupid, but they also perform for their audience.

This is why I talk about the aristocracy being immortal and mutable. It's always in the human bloodstream. It wakes up every day trying to win, and we need to wake up every day trying to destroy it. There is no finish line.

My impression is that they already have been doing this for a long time.

[facepalm]

Which is why we have the best food.

To my dying day, I will be convinced that, had Democrats passed a national $15/hour wage, the 2022 and 2024 elections would have been very different.

Sunstein, like all of the privileged literati, exists in a class far above us the proletariat. Class sympathy with war criminals like Kissinger is more natural to that set than solidarity with their erstwhile political bedfellows. Class class class. It’s all class. It always has been.

Say the word.

Proud to announce our unnamed tech partners tracked the cell phone locations of hundreds of thousands of people without their knowledge or consent

Writers often don’t realize how much of themselves they expose in their work. You can’t hide when you think in public. People can see who you are through your words.

fucking denmark dunking on us, they still have a damn king

We must make decisions for ourselves and carry them out. It is irresponsible and immature to wait for someone to take care of us and solve our problems for us. They don’t have the same priorities or goals and will not save us.

I've said this before, but I feel pretty strongly that the building of concentration camps - and now, the inevitable disappearance of 1,800 people from those camps - is the biggest story in American public health right now that isn't being treated like one

Except we are getting less for the same amount of money.

I don't know even what to say about the beauty of a simple free breakfast in lunch for all. My kid gets to kindergarten, and the teacher says, "OK, who's hungry?" Great for every kid in the room, especially those whose parents could afford it anyway. Every kid has fuel. Who wouldn't want that?

The Korean presiden is up now, and is emphasizing both South Korea’s deep ties to the UN and the remarkable achievement of Korea’s pro-democracy popular movement against December’s coup, which he says embodies the UN spirit.

This is funny but it also reminds me that Ds are fighting the laws of physics and losing.

The big picture here is that Trump is crazy and any attempt to run the country (especially in a bipartisan matter) is doomed to failure and global humiliation because our president is a crazy person. Priorities, people. Nothing is more important than getting rid of Trump.

Our endorsement of Kirk is not an endorsement of Kirk. It doesn’t matter if we endorse Kirk. We will push back against Trump’s extremism except for when we won’t.

One with bars and locks.

I’ve been saying! Bribe ICE, bribe anyone you need to. It’s legal now, as long as you bribe the right person. Which is cheaper: trillion dollar elections or $50k in a Whataburger bag in a few hands? Lots of politician sell themselves cheap.

Two sides of the same coin: the elite didn’t want Biden and did want Trump, because they knew Trump would make it easier for them to get richer.

We need to move beyond “we have proof Republicans are lying.” They don’t care. If you aren’t doing anything to stop them, your complaints mean nothing to them.

Untreated learning disabilities can result in poor coping skills, poor self esteem, and other psychological issues. This is why funding for education is important.

People think that if they avoid the monster he will eventual float away on an iceberg, but instead he is setting the village on fire and ripping off heads. Meanwhile, the villagers are muttering that it would be uncivil to pick up a torch and storm the castle.

Watching a third of the country beclown and degrade themselves in cultish devotion to this stumbling turnip makes me want to puke.

How humiliating this all is. The retching convulsions of a diseased administration, hacking up its bile and blood-streaked phlegm in front of the whole world.

It is fully irresponsible to argue for an American return to global leadership. This country is deeply unwell and has no business leading anything until that's no longer the case. There's a whole world out there capable of tending to the world's problems. We must tend to ours.

Me: I don’t see why the kids say I might be on the spectrum. Also me: Let me show you my costume jewelry collection and explain the design and history of every piece and in the context of fashion, manufacturing, and historical trends.

The same bs they're spewing about autism and tylenol is the same bs they're spewing about trans people's healthcare. It's the exact same playbook and the fact that the media can see through one and not the other is a damning indictment of how complicit they are in the attack on trans lives.

Trump is getting noticeably dumber. Would not have thought that was possible.

Numbers don’t lie.

Is not your father grown incapable Of reasonable affairs? Is he not stupid With age and alt’ring rheums? Can he speak? Hear? Know man from man?

I don’t think “waiting for him to die” is the most efficient or efficacious way to deal with a dictator. And I have gone from frustration to disgust at the lack of a sense of urgency.

Like a kid making mud pies and talking about the bakery she is going to open.

Just sitting at the kitchen table, staring into my Cinnamon Toast Crunch, thinking about rich Republicans gathered around a table and lavishly praising a rapist for access to money and power. That kind of slime never washes off.

Pritzker: "One of the reasons Trump wants to send troops into cities is bc he wants to be able to take control of the 2026 elections...if they've got troops in cities, & it becomes a kind of norm for people, then it won't be abnormal for them when they're going to vote having troops at ballot boxes"

My Chinese historical dramas are so useful for these times. This is where the court officials send a strongly worded letter to the king and when he summons them, he tell them to kneel before him. The he yells at them that he is the king and they owe him obedience and threatens to make them eunuchs.

When the rapture doesn’t come, let’s tell all the fundamentalist Christians that we know people who were raptured but obviously they did not make the cut. And mock the people in the Trump Administration because they were Left Behind.

In return for…?

The effect is so bizarre that nobody asks what is wrong with his skin. There has to be a reason for that…whatever it is on his face.

Republican Sunday: YOU HAVE AWAKENED A DRAGON OF WHITE RAGE WE WILL SWIM IN THE BLOOD OF OUR TERRORIST ENEMIES AS THEIR CHILDREN WORK OUR SLAVE CANPS Republican Monday: we’re sweet widdle puddy tats what never hurted a fly and the mean man’s post fwightened us so bad we cwosed up our widdle eyes

I was so worried I almost couldn’t cheat on my husband.

This is what you say when you want to keep donors but you also want to seem like you are supporting democracy. This kind of playing-both-sides is long past its expiration date.

Where do babies come from, Trump? Or were you too busy cheating on your pregnant wives to be around for the process of birth?