update i did it and i got a bike and i love her and my bum feels bruised

the cells in my brain as soon as someone starts explaining board game rules to me

[vibrating at a high frequency] i want a bike i want a bike i want a bike

swellow has hurt my feelings again 😌

they don’t want me to function

shopping for plus sized clothes and lingerie is hard enough, but i am also too gay to know if i like the garment or if i’m just confused bc the model is smokin hot

the big tits bra shop has discontinued my most trusted bra bc they hate me personally btw

i haven’t watched the interview yet bc i’m weak but i’m extremely stuck on yoongi “only growing his hair out bc his parents like it”. if true: very cute and funny, i love this strange little man if not true (look, we all rmr that photoshoot, u know the one): even funnier, he is trying to kill me

a living nightmare: getting the feedback u asked for

remember when we all found out that ‘holly’ is actually ‘holy’ but by then holly was too ingrained so we all disregarded it

BTS as FYA acronyms: JK: For Youth, Again HS: Filming Yoongi Always YG: Flexing Your Abilities TH: Feel Yourself Absolutely SJ: Friendly Yet Aloof NJ: Fixing Yesterday’s Abnormalities JM: Fun, Young, Attractive

can finally sensibly pre-order and after much indecision i landed where we all knew i would: on the yoongi vinyl

happy birthday to the first xuexiao meme i ever made

bewildered to announce that my new hyperfixation is: cycling???

showed @eliwinterbear.bsky.social the edit of jin in shorts and he screeched that he doesn’t want to see HIM or his STUPID LEGS. it was very convincing.

last year in my postgrad i did a whole bunch of research relating to what people think pornography is and how that is reflected in [niche thing]. i was the always sunny cork board meme. i was right tho. they should have given me phd funding.

i love and support all of u who are feral for jk today but all i can see is him doing his very specific “i am Being Sexy” face and i want to put him in my pocket

NEW: A hobbyist has created Nearby Glasses, an app that warns you if someone close by is wearing smart glasses. 404 Media spoke to the creator who said he was inspired by our coverage that uncovers how men are wearing Meta's Ray-Bans to covertly film massage parlor workers.

please… email…

next in my ~unemployment journey is the magic of temping. tbh i am kind of scared but i am coping by pretending i am playing an elaborate game of dress-up

😈😈😈

latest (v short) update starts here btw. from this point i have more in a scrivener doc so we’ll see how well that fits

well ok then: if you see this, do it! ☆ pronouns: she/her ☆ height: 5’2 (and a half. maybe.) ☆ zodiac: leo, idk the details ☆ smoke: nope! ☆ tattoos: uh… 9? i’m pretty sure 9 ☆ piercings: 6 ☆ fav color: 💖 pink 💖 ☆ fav drink: how boring is it if i just say tea?

i understand that talk about weight is extremely standard in korean (and indeed all) entertainment industries and that idols are held to certain standards as part of their job. i can only imagine the impact of constant public scrutiny of their bodies on their mental health.

Yoongi was Namjoon’s gay awakening but he’s too embarrassed to say that out loud so he says it was Jin

waiting mode (email edition)

feeling normal (convinced that i humiliated myself with every person i spoke to today)

fellas? fellas. FELLAS.

icb bootcut jeans are being inflicted on the world again. hoseok pls do something

no i can only do breakup playlists nvm

lrp: u can pry my refurbed iphone mini from my cold dead hands atp. fucking dreading having to replace any of my other tech while the bubble still hasn’t popped

🧵 I want to talk about why this pic sets off my uncanny valley alarms (spoiler: I don't think it's anything Hobi did with the photo. I think it's the phone's camera itself). It's not that the hardware on phone cameras has gotten much better in recent years. It's that they have AI software built in.

did jin put dynamite on his playlist bc performing it a million times without an in person audience represents sacrificial love

i’m a spinster and a crone but i will give valentine’s day this: pink and red is factually the best colour combination

start of today’s update. if u notice that i change tenses by accident in the last 2 posts, no u don’t ❤️

so anyway i’ve. i’ve read this now.

still here, can someone pls fix me so i can EITHER be productive re: important upcoming Thing OR at the very least write some fucking fic

appreciate that the gq piece is written by someone kpop-literate who found ways to bring in contextual info and didn’t characterise fans as an alien monolith

he wears clothes to take them off… 😞

i KNOW jk is as much a Luxury Idiot as any of them (see: his cars, his butt chairs, his plain t-shirts that cost more than my rent) but it is still somehow endearing to see him pretend he’s a Watch Guy, specifically

start of today’s dicquisition threadfic update. i love cruelty.

Every kpop boy who has ever served even the tiniest slice of cunt owes him a debt of honor and they all know it

in a flu-y sweet*spot where i’m too ill to really do anything but well enough to be really bored and frustrated *not sweet

girl group bangtan dick acquisition threadfic 🍆 cisswap au 🍆 magic temporary genital swap 🍆 dorm setting for reasons 🍆 sorry/you’re welcome so the thing is, namjoo’s heard of this happening before. it’s not even that rare. she just didn’t think it would happen to *her*.

now that we have drafts i could maybe do this as a threadfic. much 2 consider

HELL YEAH

lads i am having a fuckin time of it rn. if you can rec me a fic with one or all of the following i will kiss you on the eyeballs: 🥺 weird sexual norms 🥺 d/s (bonus points if bio d/s) 🥺 found family (romantic, sexual) 🥹 will read bts, shinee minkey, skz, mdzs, erha

Never Certain How 🐱 Namgi, NC-17 🐱 25k, ongoing, weekly WIP 🐱 Pining while Fucking, the creme de la creme of tropes 🐱 BDSM themes 🐱 Hybrids and gender and weird sex, oh my 🐱 public sex. so much public sex. archiveofourown.org/works/79145206

looking back in old posts and nodding sagely