I wish WF Ganong’s last name was, like, Thuck

this state of the union is like an eclipse: you should never look directly at it

did not anticipate the usa men's hockey team pulling a whole flock of milkshake ducks

The Wizard of Foz

i once had the honor of bringing room service to jesse jackson when he stayed in my mom's hotel in manchester, nh. the man exuded kindness and intellect; an amazing human being (and he tipped well).

post a banger that isn't in English youtu.be/gLlUXlE5ULc?...

trying to finish up come grading in canvas before class tomorrow and all it will show me is red text saying, “something broke” and I’m like, ‘get in line, buddy. I’ve been broken for weeks."

No joke: I got angry hate mail today for writing an obituary of a Black woman scientist—because the person felt she did didn’t deserve the recognition. Which just makes me want to share it again: www.nature.com/articles/d41...

kinda surreal to see colleagues who've embraced lockdown browsers and made students turn on their webcams during tests complain about the erosion of privacy and encroaching facism.

the embarrassment of learning you were wrong is directly proportional to what an asshole you were when you believed you were right.

I have no access at all to rushes today and my own mother was Breda. 🤷🏻‍♂️😢

if they say something and you say that's not true, your response is still shaped like their frame Your frame has to *contain and explain* their frame, not just contradict it. You have to eat their frame. Like Kirby

any pundit or politician who ever unironically said “the woke mind virus” is a) real and b) a problem, should be yeeted. we do not need your opinion anymore. you had a chance, you showed us youre a moron and now its time for you to slink away

My trip to New Orleans for LSA was so expensive that having it on my credit card has lowered my FICO score.

if I tell someone from here in Lexington, Kentucky that I work for "the university" they typically ask which one. UK can't even clear its own orbit.

I sometimes get mistaken for a birder and I think it might be a sick burn.

school being canceled because the president sent armed thugs to harass and imprison the populace for voting against him should be the biggest domestic scandal in american history

Come on, heart disease, get your shit together.

new orleans is not a terrific place to be an eardrum

📚 Sociophonetics: Implications for Phonological and Phonetic Theory (co-edited by me and @lhlew.bsky.social) is now available online at Oxford Academic! (print copies coming end of January) academic.oup.com/book/61815

"A vote for Donald Trump is a vote for a man who wants to end wars, not start them, and who has demonstrated already that he has the courage and strength to stand up and fight for peace" -- Tulsi Gabbard, 10/27/24

got a wrapped from the online pet store and it was basically, like, your cats sure love to drink water with these water filters! and i like almost nothing about this timeline

the noun ‘accent’ implies the existence of the verb ‘eccent’ which would let us do away with phrasing like “do an accent” or “put on an accent”.

Pantone just updated their Color Of The Year

It's probably tedious to hate liquid glass, but I'm comfortable being tedious.

the thing about the end of the semester is I miss teaching? and I had two amazingly locked-in groups this semester and have to start over at 0 again in January?

Every legal story now is either Ancient Circuit Judge Delivers Crystal Clear 100 Page Rebuke To Trumpist Overreach or In Unsigned Shadow Docket Decision, 6-3 Majority Declares Trump Can Hunt People For Sport

this is similar to what I've come to think of as the "reverse turing test" when people find synthetic text is "good enough" to complete a task (homework, business report, email) it doesn't mean the machine is smart. it means they were asked to produce something that didn't matter it's diagnostic

Noticed my daughter (18;1) has demoted the White House to the white house by switching away from compound stress and I love this kid so much

read my child's human geography textbook and would like to humbly ask my fellow scholars to shut the fuck up about language if you can't be bothered to consult a linguist or literally any of our work

when reading advice online, as a guitarist, I *constantly* have to stop and remind myself that the person saying X is a great pedal or Y is a great sounding guitar sincerely believes that eric clapton or john mayer are pleasant to listen to

it just struck me that 'tweet' is a stupid name for a little text post and I think that means I'm finally healing

I lose so much of my life worrying about what Easter egg hunts were like at Charles Hockett's house.

Since becoming a parent I have not, in fact, understood the parents who say “if you were a parent you’d understand” about vaccine hesitancy. Being in charge of this fragile little miracle has me saying things like “give her all the vaccines. Turn this baby into a pincushion” to doctors

[ ] tall [ ] tan [ ] young [ ] lovely guys, I think I might not be the girl from Ipanema

whatever value it may have had, duolingo stopped being an educational app the day they decided to replace real human beings with ai. now it's just an attention monetizing trash generator like all of this other crap

I am torn between a sincere, lifelong, desire to make technology as accessible as possible and the understanding that all of this digital accessibility work we faculty are being made to do is so that LLMs will have high-quality labeled training data when they steal our course content

I wonder what the Microsoft people think "Do not ask again" means

“strong floor, no ceiling” sounds like the title of a Lean In- inspired self-help book organized around kegels as the path to self actualization

me: I am a rational, adult, human professional person also me: but if I don’t OPEN the e-mail then it can’t hurt me.

tip: if you’re baking something and need half an egg, just use a small one. the recipe doesn’t have to know how many shells your egg came out of.

Trying to explain to my kids that there used to be stores you could just go to and buy things in person and that packages took 6 to 8 weeks for delivery but were *events* when they arrived as we walk past multiple neighbors who haven’t bothered to bring in their Amazon, Chewy, or Target orders yet

Relying on ChatGPT to teach you about a topic leaves you with shallower knowledge than Googling and reading about it, according to new research that compared what more than 10,000 people knew after using one method or the other. Shared by @gizmodo.com: buff.ly/yAAHtHq

I bet Trump used an autopen to sign the Epstein Transparency Act.

It’s here! The 2026 LSA Annual Meeting Program is live! Huge thanks to everyone who submitted abstracts, the 200+ reviewers, and the 2026 Program Committee for making this possible! Start planning your New Orleans experience! We can’t wait to see you there! #LSA2026 web.cvent.com/event/d45318...

bought 9 foods at the grocery store in Trump’s America, where people chose the promise of low prices over not electing a rapist and swindler, and spent over $100: spinach, feta cheese, ricotta, scallions, carrots, potatoes, phyllo sheets, cocoa powder, and cat food. $107

For folks (and journalists) who want to search the Oversight Committee email texts, I made a database for searching the 20k text files: splendorous-chaja-f79791.netlify.app

write what you mean, you cowards! stop saying listeners are “confronted” with variation or “perceive speech despite variation.” Just come out and say that you think variation attacks people in dark alleys, steals their shit, and leaves them for dead.

today just felt like it lasted ALL DAY long, you know?