from the thumbnail you THINK I sent you a cheeky video about an exasperated italian angry at his wife’s recommendation to snap the pasta in half to cook it but actually it’s me admonishing you for trivializing my people’s deeply held beliefs about pasta

damn, instagram ads really want to figure out my height and I will NOT be clicking on that shit

anyone saying they’re “providing air cover” because they’re joining a fucking meeting needs to be put down with strong prejudice

former vice president dick cheney has died again.

some new friends invited us over for dinner and i’m now realizing I will have to eat food coming from a kitchen I have no vetted and that is terrifying dawg

legit horrified when what’s gonna happen is a few bus routes might become free maybe at some point

what if democrats weren’t stupid assholes for like 2 election cycles

one of the gays I see on here is writing for slate now

free market economy innovating in astounding ways that can only have good outcomes

I had a middle school english teacher who would often say “would you do me a flavor and x” and I still don’t wish that lady well

climate change is so bad you can’t even tell people to go jump in a lake anymore

we need boomers to die out of power so I don’t have to read an avocado toast article ever again like what are we fucking doing man

adela should have everything tate mcrae has. she could win a cage match across any category and it’s not even a question.

charli xcx: everything is romantic me [disgusted]: even war?

lilly allen is tim allen’s wario and I won’t explain further

does anyone on here have experience in portland oregon wherein you would have recommendations for stuff to do as a stupid bitch going on a quick eat pray love trip

every serial killer has three names and you’re telling me I’M the weird one for suggesting jesse tyler ferguson should be on a watch list??

branzino would make a lovely name for a nonbinary child

I want to go from hot from far away to hot from the middle distance as the light leaves the viewer’s eyes

I should never be allowed to have power because why in college did I tell the history club we wouldn’t find their trip to the busch gardens theme park because it wasn’t ’learning about history’ why was I such a bitter bitch

honestly parts of this are good advice. if people are hungry they should get off their asses and go to mike davis’s house and take all of his food and then br3ak his teeth on the nearest curb

hey does anyone know if approaching happiness asymptotically over the course of your thirties has any long term effects

no offense but I don’t enjoy the vocal stylings of jewel but we don’t need to get into it ok

love to have a chelsea enby hostess/ette give you attitude, makes you feel aliiiiive

congrats to the whole team

being forced to not work for 2 months with a consequence of huge financial loss after working 1-3 jobs since I was 12 is going to turn me into an insane person saying nonsense so plz keep me on your personal watch list ty in advance

with all due respect to the arts and all artists creating such, whoever was involved in the sound production of the chronicles of narnia: prince caspianyou should be sent to the hague

a queer and pleasant ranger

not crashing out but I might lexaprolapse

30 seconds to mars sounds like a target going through a painful foreclosure

it really sucks that the only exercise I enjoy is running and one of the four curses had gave me was a fucked up knee

it’s really hard complaining about 6 months severance after being at a company for <1 year but if there’s anything I can do it’s complain under the best circumstances

gay guys can never just hit on someone normally it’s always “till we need to call in the fukushima cleanup crew”

statistically, like by the actual numbers, at LEAST one of those “I hope something good happens to you today” cars has hit a pedestrian

Finding a way to work my shutzstaffel skull into the word "coexist"

i’m in close friends green circles for gay guys I only met once that you couldn’t even imagine

tbh I would’ve made all the same acting choices isla fisher did. those like 3 movies? of course

“i’ve never met john lithgow and that fucking sucks” is a real complaint I just aired to someone in a 27 year contract with me

the last time I went to san francisco we walked into a random bar in castro and there was immediately twinks wrestling in a kiddie pool full of jello

it’s like watching a ball of cotton candy being used as a battering ram against a wet door

down so bad this week I’m chopped, unc and even a secret third thing

jojo sliwa would make a decent bit account but I don’t have the time for it sorry

do you remember that weird copypasta going around facebook years ago where a guy’s buddy lost his wife & the touching resolution was him telling his friend to “make the chili for her”? how in debt to online gambling are all the guys that reposted it

I have a throw blanket worth more than every item in this setup but my head stayed intact even now knowing people choose to live like this

calling someone a fag then doing this 30 seconds later??

Roll that unbearable bean footage

white house has joined bluesky click here to block all official us government accounts instantly bsky.app/profile/did:...

who up driving shareholder value

north carolina being in the union before pennsylvania. once again let down by the lesser of the tristate area!

charging my work phone not so I can be reachable for calls but so I can remain green on teams as I go get pokemon ZA