A lord of the rings cover band called Imagine Baggins

I'm starting to fear that the jingle hop has now well and truly begun

To evade the FBI it seems like all you have to do is not still be there when they show up

i stand by this statement every year

The requirement to be online or logged in to anything to play a story or campaign. I'm looking at you Rockstar, you total fucking lunatics

Michael Cera's funniest performance might be his two minute cameo in A Very Murray Christmas. "I know Miley, and that...may or may not be true" kills me every year

NFTs were the best grift of all time. "Pay us money for a digital picture that will increase in value" Because it looks nice? "No it will look like shit" Because its rare? "No our website can generate an infinite number of them for free" Because people will pay to see it? "No only you" Okay

Hear me out: a Reject Call button but instead of sending the caller to voicemail it just sends them directly to hell

Imagine working at the CDC and RFK Jr. comes up to you and says "IiIi wWanNnNaa cHChaAngNGge tH wWweBbBsite" and you are like "what"

It's surreal watching people arrive at conclusions about Donald Trump today that even the most passively informed of us arrived at 10 years ago

Stunned onlookers were overheard asking “Did we die? Is this Hell?"

[INT: SUPREME COURT] Roberts: are Trump's tariffs legal? Kagan: no Roberts: hmmm [END]

The act of opening a Microsoft Word document on my Microsoft computer proved so onerous that the entire computer crashed and needed to be rebooted. What the fuck are we doing?

Proud of the Blue Jays. They continued a long-standing Toronto tradition of losing in the worst and dumbest and most humiliating way imaginable.

There's a chill in the air and that can only mean one thing: the next episode of Til Death do us Blart is only one month away

It is so funny to me that Meta changed their company's entire name to Meta like six weeks before the metaverse fad imploded forever

I cannot overstate how boring it is to watch someone speedrun a game where all they do is make the game glitch until the end credits show up. Who the fuck cares?

[pulled over] DOG COP: you ran a gray light DOG DRIVER: but it was still gray when i went through the intersection DOG COP: no it was gray

Me: Hey Google please turn off all your shitty AI integrations Google:

Me: Hey google, play Spirit in the Night by Bruce Springsteen Google assistant: got it, here's a community playlist called "fat dubstep jams for workout bois", playing on YouTube Music

working on a new unified theory of american reality i'm calling "everyone is twelve now"

When asked "Why don't you simply follow the posted speed limit and parking rules?" Dasrath promptly shit his pants and fell screaming to the floor

A cool feature for autocorrect would be if it stopped randomly capitalizing words in the middle of sentences or replacing correctly spelled words with other words for no reason, just a thought.

I tried YT Music's AI playlist generator and typed in "acoustic guitar and vocals." The first three songs: Mr Brightside by the Killers Dashboard by Modest Mouse Ship to Wreck by Florence & The Machine What the fuck lmao

If you see this, quote the energy you bring to Bluesky.

They should hold a global lottery and the winner gets to change "is" to "was" on his Wikipedia page

Collecting all the AI artwork before the bubble bursts so I can teach all my grandkids about the time when every image on the internet sucked shit

What is she going to do in the movie? Is Bond gonna use her face as a shovel?

reskeet with a tweet you still think about

The only thing relevant that Dean Cain has done in the last 20 years was when he appeared as a punchline in a John Mulaney bit

Don't bring a wig to the afterlife, otherwise there's going to be hell toupée

There's something unnerving about the horse girl racing game that I can't quite put my finger on, but which nevertheless makes me want to not associate with anyone who plays it

It does what now

The music in Kpop Demon Hunters absolutely fucks

I see a lot of "My man is annoying but at least he's not at a Coldplay concert" memes and I keep thinking "haha yes finally someone else who hates Coldplay's shitty music as much as I do" but no they're just talking about the affair

Episode two of Heavenly Ever After should be ILLEGAL. You need disclaimers for THAT SCENE! "If you ever had a dog CLICK HERE TO SKIP THIS SCENE" OR SOMETHING I CANT STOP CRYING YOU GUYS FUCK!!!

I had a client who was confused about something say to me "The answer is probably simple but my mind just doesn't do simple." He said it like he was bragging but...I mean, if your mind can't do simple it also can't do complicated so wtf are you saying

The Netflix app switched off the subtitles on a show I was watching even though I never turn them off myself. I turned them back on. This caused the app to crash. $22 a month they charge for this now.

DUN3

"When asked if he also wanted to rewatch the Hobbit movies, Lee replied, 'Ehh no thanks,' and promptly died."

xAI has disabled Grok, deleted a slew of its antisemitic and neo-Nazi posts, posted a statement, and are evidently rolling back the prompt that made it identify as "MechaHitler," but this new low for Elon Musk's chatbot will live in internet infamy:

lol hey liberals if global warming is real then why is it so- [steps outside] [bursts into flames]

More like Hideous Kojima lol. Because his games are fucking horrible

They call me SpaceX on the golf course because I c- [explodes]

I just think we need to raise the cultural bar a little higher. If the lyrics to a song are "ABRA CA DAW BRAW BA GA BOO GA BAW" you're absolutely allowed to tell people it sucks

If I were born as a Tesla I'd want to end it all too