Idk about you guys but I’m running the dick n balls method for all my MLB drafts this year

Sharks making trades is starting to scare me

Quite a quote from Texans LB Azeez Al-Shaair, who was asked about his STOP THE GENOCIDE eye black after today’s game www.usatoday.com/story/sports...

Cousin who suggests universities “have an agenda” with what they teach students seemed to have some sort of agenda when talking to me about what I’m doing in school

Just heard it pronounced “Playce Day Orleeyun”

I’ve had a few beers

habs fan complaining about pregame ceremonies

My dog has taken up whining while looking at the kitchen counter so tonight I picked her up and put her on the counter so she could check everything out. Lifted her back down and she immediately put her paws back up on the counter and just wanted to chill there. She’s ten (in a week).

It’s so difficult being a big booty white boy because I got all these suits from my girlfriend’s mom’s coworker’s husband and one of them fits me perfectly except it’s single vented and splits over my phat dumper

Have back-to-back classes in Paterson and Dunton but one prof just moved the Paterson class to Mackenzie 😭

“College Football” 26

Cracking open a cold one (1% chocolate milk) after a long day at work (shoveling the driveway, walkway, porch, and back step)

As per my earlier analysis, the work has eaten all the other worms going down, now it’s heading back up to eat them all again

“What one does with nazis is kill them”

O train ain’t running, btw. Nice of them to put it on their websi- hey, wait… that doesn’t say anything about trains not running

Today he walked in and, noting I was wearing a Kansas City Royals hat instead of my usual Pittsburgh Pirates hat, goes “no Pittsburgh today?” My father told his girlfriend I was studying accounting—a program I dropped out of five years ago.

Oh yeah, happy 2016 to all who celebrate

1. Apparently the Charge have cheerleaders? 2. Apparently my friend is a cheerleader for the Charge?

Need you guys to know that the Canada Art Bank rocks

You know an Instagram reel is fire when it’s posted less than three hours ago and is already liked by 2/3 of the Zubcast boys

Bro… I just folded and sold out for an NIL deal in CFB26. Just signed with Chipotle for 8 skill points and 150 followers even though I don’t like their food. This is a dark day.

My exclusive interview with Pierre Dorion Me: “Would you have signed Reimer?” Dorion: “I would’ve licked a thousand tootsie pops and stuck them together into the shape of the greatest goaltender”

Update: it was $85 and fit me perfectly but I just spent quite a bit on a guitar and was already going to the Jungle today specifically to spend $50

Lil birthday treat for me

Uhoh I’m about to spend a billion dollars on that mariners jacket

If Puma made Scooby-Doo basketball jerseys as part of the new LaMelo Ball signature line, I’d get a Melvin Doo jersey

Lowkey, uniform brown dinner when you don’t have many ingredients goes so hard (pork, potatoes, mustard, lemon juice, soy sauce, salt, pepper, paprika, garlic salt, msg. Eyeball ratios, mix in a bowl. 400° on a sheet pan, flip and mix halfway)

Watching football @jonbois.bsky.social

Caleb Williams got that ol’ navy-white colourblindness

Panthers (football) are pissing me off (it’s not really their fault)

I’m being so serious. If anyone is going tonight and is willing to part with this, I’d love to get one to my friend Sarah in the UK ⬇️⬇️⬇️

Woah, Jimmy John’s named a sandwich the same thing I named my penis

He walks in today and starts talking to me about the Sens. It’s like if my dad was smart and cool and talked to me.

In non-hockey-related news: new guitar

1765. Birth year of King William IV (abolished slavery), Thomas Muir (Scottish revolutionary), José María Morelos (Mexican independence), James Mackintosh (Scottish polisci/hist/phil), Robert Fulton (steamboat), Thomas Fremantle (Aus city), Eli Whitney (cotton gin), and James Smithson (Smithsonian)

I’ve actually never heard of hockey anyway

Idk what this clockout app thing is but do you think if I tell them I have a 134 iq they’ll let me in?

What’s more likely: Senators cheating cabal? Known mental health advocate Linus Ullmark takes some time away during the dead of winter for personal reasons?

Can confirm second-hand that Drake Batherson wanted to go out with a girl in Nova Scotia as recently as this past summer so that part at least is in doubt to me and makes the whole thing fall apart

News in my life: they finally cleared the one and only sidewalk to Limebank station. Still not much salt and no streetlights at night but it’s an improvement I guess.

Wearing a Senators jersey (Ironically)

What the hell happened to the keyboard

Neighbours has left on their backyard light that shines into my bedroom for the second night in a row. One more and I’m going Mr. Bean Mode

I have two classes for a total of four days in a row every week with a prof who, every once in a while, looks exactly like my father and it’s quite distracting

Putting my girlfriend on blast rn

Made it to class and it seems half the class all know each other and the other half (my half) is just sitting in silence

It’s crazy that they just let you buy stuff with your own money

I don’t think you guys know I was being 100% serious when I said this. This actually happened.

Gotta go with two