Was a part of a weird-ass 4 and-a-half minutes this weekend

In line at Chipotle, a white teenage girl asked her dad if she can be a "black dude with dreads" for Halloween...

Gail Daughtry and the Celebrity Sex Pass was an absolute blast. Laughed the whole damn time

Congrats to ALF on the big win today!

Bad couple weeks for dudes who have 'Graham' in their name

Just had a 20 minute call with Lindsey Graham. He’s good.

Breaking: Lindsey Graham is NOT dead per previous erroneous reports. Neither is he alive. Trapped in the Twilight Netherrealm, an Ojibwe afterlife slipping between our reality and death, the South Carolina senator is tormented for eternity, his misdeeds in life at once irrelevant and unbearable.

Senator Lindsey Graham, an ardent ally of President Donald Trump who advocated an aggressive foreign policy, has died at 71. Staff says he ingested cocaine and heroin, or "speedballs," before overdosing.

This is how I found out

Making a short film in 48 hours is tiring

Grillos pickles are overrated and not good

COLUMN: Seattle went all of June without a homicide for the first time in 56 years. Marcus Harrison Green argues the milestone should prompt humility about public safety — and a closer look at the prevention work that often goes unseen and underfunded. Read here: soseaem.org/4p9N2Ql #Seattle

Second half of the season will be better.... hopefully... maybe... goms...

Just finished one of the best books I've ever read. What a wild ride. Highly recommend Angel Down by Daniel Kraus

Welcome to InfoWars (summer edition). Tune in tomorrow, anywhere you want. 8/7 ct.

The NL is just better than the AL this year.

BREAKING - I just got off the phone with my old friend Mitch McConnell!! He is doing great and is totally alive and whatnot!

God, if you're watching at home, hello!

Exactly.

I'm sorry, but Rucker in high-leverage situations is not the way to go, Mariners...

I'd like to see a Marlins/Mariners World Series, tbh

GOMS. ALWAYS IN IT

Spoken AT him (his corpse)?

John Oliver is incredible youtu.be/gtpHIGVjl-k

On the brightside, the Team USA guys got to hang out in Seattle a bunch! That's cool and fun!

Ugh... dont show Jeff Bezos

Eddie supporting his favorite band, Ratt!

"im rescinding my endorsement of the nazi tattoo guy. but not for the nazi tattoo, that part was fine" is such a crazy thing to have to announce to everyone. probably couldve avoided that by not fucking with a nazi tattoo guy at all in the first place ??

I'm kind of rooting for Belgium, just to see if FIFA will overturn it if they win.

Genuinely SO much rage from the lack of response or anything from this fucking apartment complex. Still ZERO update or anything. About to be the 4th FULL. DAY. of no hot water in an entire 266 unit complex.

Hot water still out. No updates. No eta. No communication. Horrible horrible apartment complex.

Would LOVE to be able to take a shower/wash my dishes but the hot water has been out since Thurs night at my entire complex. Also- half the elevators have been down for like a year, and our parking garage door is stuck open since a power outage last month. 525 Enclave apts in Northgate are awful!

Are the only human-beings who don't feel a form of imposter syndrome just narcissists?

A little poem/song/idea/thing called 'I Will', about trying to maintain old relationships into adulthood

Hard to believe I've been obsessed with this for almost 20 years. youtu.be/ms2klX-puUU

THANK YOU, RANDY! GRAND SALAMI!

Come on Randy. Let's fuck the Jays up

Did Pynchon ever write manga??

Goddamn! youtu.be/KYrMwxrZ2TU

DO tread on me, actually

youtu.be/cAj5v7H-hpE Without Sportscenter, without Kilborn, I probably wouldn't be a comedy nerd.

I posted this way too late last night and must repost this, because people need to be aware of this insanity. Please read his pretentious artist statement.

Still - nobody doing a better job of animating the eldritch horror that is modern-American-politics, than Aamon Animations youtu.be/AfSFYe6aUPw

Adrien Brody made art for a Raising Cane's... this is hilariously funny to me. www.raisingcanes.com/news/adrienb...

InfoWars is now live.

Am I enjoying my rent-payment app?! Fuck no! Stop asking

Weston goddamn Wilson! GOMS!

Lets fuckin go. Love when my boys manufacture a run! GOMS!!!!

Woo the GOAT

Oh no, Seattle, we're getting TOO popular! “What the cream cheese does is navigate very well into the sweetness of the onion, the mustard, the jalapeño,” Andrés said in the video. “Almost becomes a diplomat that brings everything together.”