why was the us government trying to save a shitty budget airline nobody liked?

tim heidecker drinks the blood of the forsaken youtu.be/Exu1SEZE9Ug

We could change the world with nothing but a spoonful of peanut butter

putting a block on your entire Friday afternoon calendar to stop people scheduling meetings is low key goated fr fr

Me: recently added beans to diet also me: “why am i tooting up a storm lately? it’s an unknowable mystery i guess…”

today was the most Friday-feeling Thursday in the history of humanity 👎🏼

“so we skeet on, posts against the current, borne ceaselessly back into that ass”

dear medical office i haven’t been to in 3yrs: i do NOT need an ‘URGENT MESSAGE’ in my ehr portal… …that you changed your phone number 👎🏼 👎🏼👎🏼

microsoft copilot is a messy bitch who lives for drama 🙄

daydreaming at work 🤩 (Relistening to Gillian Welch & David Rawlings acoustic dead reckoning @ Fox 4/18/26)

tfw dad gets up early for the gym and you snooze in his spot til he gets home, NOT EVEN GREETING HIM AT THE DOOR 🙄

ALAMEDA - asked niece reading HP: ‘god did you hear about dumbledore?’ niece: ‘no’ me: ‘died. snape killed him.’ thought she would cry

health nut coworker complimented me on weight loss today “I saw you walking down hall from behind and if it wasn’t for the hair, I wouldn’t have even recognized you. looking great!” luscious locks + health journey ftw 🤩💪🏻😎

“When you're strange, faces come out of the rain When you're strange, no one remembers your name When you're strange, when you're strange When you're strange”

lifting heavy things in repetitive motion makes my muscles sore? scientists should really look into that….🧐

i would pay many american dollars to see a john wick sequel with a rescue pitbull as the antihero “John wick 5: paws of vengeance” 👌🏼🔥👌🏼🔥👌🏼🔥👌🏼

apparently lots of drama on the tl today? of course I was inadvertently busy all day lesson learned: NEVER EVER LOG OFF 🤨

like $7 as a grocery handler at byerlys in ‘99 it involved standing outside each 7hr shift. In Minnesota. In winter.

starting to think these euphoria kids might not be alright…

as a bad poster who hits repost a lot , the White House correspondents dinner shooter does NOT speak for us 👎🏼😤 #disavow #MeantToHitSaveNotRepost

if you don’t listen to trueanon i think less of you as a person

i’m on a #helth journey and feelin great - like 70% towards my weight goal who knew exercise and diet were really good for you 🤷‍♂️

“local musician and internet movie review show host on trial for murder”

YES, i am attending the White House correspondents dinner BUT in protest i will have a post-it note in my pocket stating “the president is dishonorable” (folded up very tiny)

i don't need to have an opinion on hasan piker im over forty years old.

my sneaky fav subreddit is r/whatisit clueless people picking up random shit they find on the ground with bare hands ifs often a used sex toy or drug paraphernalia it rules 👌🏼👌🏼👌🏼

say what you will about the man, but russell brand is revolutionizing deep v neck technology v’s so deep, never before seen in the annals of human history

trying out this new innovative budgeting method called “stop spending money daily on frivolous shit” and ya know what? it’s working 💰 👌🏼

i ride my commuter bike in gym shorts and a loose T today this guy in full spandex & a racing bike atleast 5x $$$ more than mine was straight up DRAFTING behind me for a mile 👎🏼 HEY LANCE ARMSTRONG there’s strollers & old folks walking by, taint the Tour de France mountain stage 🙄

and they say romance is dead 🙄

going this AM to weight lift for first time in like, a over a year do guys still wear those onesies, have manicured mustaches, and toss around medicine balls like last time i went? 🧐

i regret to inform the peloton yam band instructor dude kinda sucks 👎🏼

toiling away in the email mines to afford my pitbull’s lifestyle beans has grown accustomed to comfort, luxury, & grace 🙄

my older dude coworker, who is awesome to work with, brought a physical printed out hard copy of an email i sent him to our 1:1 to ask questions it was adorable boomers: not all bad!

think I landed on left wrist butterfly ink selection to go with right wrist caterpillar 💀 🦋 (yes it’s technically from a dead & co poster but it’s still 100% good ol’ Grateful Dead imo)

teared up on pelyton ride today cuz chose one with the dead in playlist it ended up being from day after bobby passed which the trainer kept referencing ‘RIP & thanks for the memories’ 🥹

forgot to pack a belt for khakis in my bike bag so now im gonna be sagging all day like a TRUE professional 🤨

personal space = OVERRATED 🤷‍♂️

giving myself psychic damage on Zillow comparing how much farther my Bay Area mortgage would go in Chicago 🙃

oh so now it’s UNETHICAL to bilk a rich mark out of $40k when you work at DHS? 🙄 the LAMESTREAM MEDIA New York post strikes again!

me: “happy birthday today mom!” mom: “thank you dear, you know I’m the same age as grandma when she died” 😳 (old people not mentioning death in every conversation = IMPOSSIBLE)

We go way back

blue sky’s tech stack reminds me of me in my 20s (barely holding it together but putting on a brave face)

why is ryan atwood from the oc doing a press tour on all my podcasts 🤔

back 2 back meetings 9a-4p today we love to see it don’t we folks

coming up at 11: scientists discover “cocaine makes you feel like you want more cocaine”

me: an elder millenial who started using internet 30+ years ago shitty spam direct mail companies: “try our product! we bet you’ll love this this snail mail ad in the year 2026! you won’t immediately throw it in the dumpster we’re sure”

my sobriety friend has a jail stint bc of a past dui so i sent commissary money bc jail must fuckin sssuuuccckkk might as well buy shitty coffee and honey buns to pass the time 🤷‍♂️

good news: office gym has pelytons 👍🏻 bad news: the ceo was on one when i checked this morning 🙃