We read 1984 in every English class I had in high school. Freshman English, sophomore World Literature, senior year Western Canon, hell even junior year American Literature! I thought it was excessive at the time but God am I glad they drilled that and Animal Farm into our heads...

We already had the failed Beer Hall Putsch. Now we have the new SA on the streets crushing dissent, disappearing and shooting enemies. When someone finally shoots an ICE agent in reply to this lawless insanity, we go to Kristallnacht. This is just what we in the entertainment biz call a reboot.

If you’ve found yourself viewing men, or white people, or straight people as the default - the “cheese pizza” if you will, and every other kind of person else is just some kind of variety of toppings on it, I beg you to take a class or something this year. Go on a journey. Get smarter. It’ll be fun!

Hyper-local skeet: Highlight of 2025 was getting to vote against Rishi Kumar twice in one election. Better yet was watching him lose for thr fourth time in a row.

"Look at that Gullah Gullah Island-looking motherfucker."

Good news! Barring last-minute fuckery it looks like I'll be driving a truck around the country for my job for 14 weeks next year! My job's paying all expenses AND a $35 per diem to drive and set up pop ups through April.

I rolled credits on Dispatch and man was that a great game. I'm sad now because there is no further Dispatch until a sequel.... Feels weird that one of the best TV shows of 2025 was a video game though.

Thoughts and prayers. Sometimes they get answered.

We made stockings at work and the idea, execution, and effort finally aligned right and I like my cute li'l guy! Apparently felt is just my medium.

"Welcome to Survivor 50, Mr Beast." The way I involuntarily shouted FUCK YOU at my TV screen. God damn......

Hold on. That Grinch in the Walmart commercials is Walton Goggins? That should be a job for a Groundlings performer with two secondary credits on pilots that never got picked up and a turn as a Law and Order corpse of the week! What even is this industry any more??

It's a really weird thing to be proud of not eating vegetables as an adult

No one has ever gotten into transgender health care for money. Doctors go into gender-affirming care because every day they save lives with simple, safe care. Every rally I went to I heard from medical providers who said there was nowhere else in medicine they could transform lives in this way.

I won as many wars as Lee did and lost one fewer than him. I don't deserve a statue and neither does he.

It's been said a lot but still needs to be said more--Plur1bus is amazing. A bit of a bummer, at least as far as I am, so if you aren't in the mood bouncing is to be expected. Hopefully you can make it back when you're in a better headspace!

Please watch Aparna Nancherla’s special, Hopeful Potato out NOW on Dropout! Aparna is the best, and the special was directed by the devastatingly gorgeous and very smart guy, me!

Minor victory: After years of going to Starbucks maybe 3 times a year to get tea and a breakfast sandwich I finally memorized that a venti is 20oz. I felt like a shitty 90s comedian complaining about how they can't get "a coffee" any more. But I learned! Every day we get better in every way.

They can be rams.biz

I'm "I ate a slice of pizza after 5:30pm so I will be awake all night with reflux" years old.

This is where you see people genuinely treating LLMs as if they know things, rather than that they are, at best, a version of reading a lot of stuff that’s already on the internet. Even if the idea that Carol is Kim weren’t silly, which it is, that would be inside the head of Vince Gilligan.

Sick and tired all morning but I finally feel good enough to get out of bed and christen my new mug with its first cup of tea!

Tech companies stop buying Warner Bros challenge.

Who is our Zamfir of the vibraslap and is it Cake?

At the start of today there were 8 people who had never seen K-Pop Demon Hunters. There are now 7, as I have finally watched it. Cold take but it's good. I liked it.

DMV is growing on me, but I'm really annoyed that it films in Canada. It's three sets and a parking lot, it could use half a soundstage anywhere in LA but it's shot on the other side of the continent it's set in. Gah...

I love Arcadia and never knew this, how great! It's such an under-rated play and Septimus explaining how everything that is lost eventually is refound by saying "If Archimedes had burned at Alexandria, would the world want for a screw today?" is something I think about a lot!

New tag team meta dropped--One Big One Li'l.

Lou Diamond Flapjacks is that anything?

Unfortunately a bunch of SF Sketchfest shows I want to see will be while I'm out of town.... But at least I get to make it in time for @flophousepodcast.com! Three years running, baby!

I Love LA is great! True Whitaker's character is a hoot and a half. Do I recognize any of the influencer guest stars? No, I said hoot and a half just a second ago, of course I'm too old to know who they are. But the writing is good so I don't need to recognize them!

I already bought the cool hand-crafted (Not) Poison mug featured in the preview, but there was one with a different handle and lots more cool stuff! It's artisanal, get a mug your future great grandkids will think you're a witch for having!

I think it worked so well for me because I grew up Catholic and even though I feel more like a Unitarian-Universalist these days I've still got a lot of nostalgia because our Priest was a lot like Father Jud (albeit never a boxer and not nearly as sexy).

I don't think Wake Up Dead Man is going to work for everyone, but it worked for me! I would suggest rewatching Knives Out first if only to remind you that there was *a lot less* Benoit Blanc in that movie than you remember so Wake Up Dead Man doesn't seem as much of a departure.

Maybe the poverty line is actually $140k, and what that means "We have created a system where the only way to survive is to be destitute enough to qualify for aid, or rich enough to ignore the cost. Everyone in the middle is being cannibalized." www.yesigiveafig.com/p/part-1-my-...

This is the genre that this song was meant to exist in.

LOOK AT GRAMMA'S SMILE. 🥰

Pie is good. Cake is good. Cheesecake is good. Cupcakes are good. Turkey is good. Ham is good. Vegetarian food is good. We're all going to die so if you're not hurting anyone and everyone involved consents just do whatever brings you joy. Retweet this 20,000 times so I get money thanks.

I'm not surprised that man is looking at Mamdani like that. Not just because he's a dreamboat, though that's part of it, but because even in is first term it was well-known he would just believe whatever the last person who spoke said. He's even more senile this time around.

Whenever I find myself giving a young comedian advice, I tell them upfront that they need to start an alcohol brand as soon as possible.

All episodes of Poker Face are perfect but the one with Character Actress Margo Martindale and David Krumholtz at the private school is more perfect than the others.

I paised Eddington exactly halfway through to take out trash and used that as an opportunity to tell my friends how much I liked it. Not 10 minutes later and now it's an entirely different movie and it's fucking INSANE. (I still like it, but this is a WILD departure.)

We made holiday ornaments for the company tree at Christmas in the Park and I was going for an Iron Front but with candy canes sort of thing and... Look. I like art, I appreciate art, I am not capable of making art, but I like it!

Damn. The Onion wrote this article right at me.

(i was chanting choco fun cup ...)