Explain yourselves

On the one hand I hate getting a stupid little sunburn in a little patch where I missed sunscreening On the other hand I think it’s important to get one every couple years because it reminds me what a good job the sunscreen does

No but I was 39

America’s 250th anniversary drink bucket

America keeps trying to get me to go to her birthday party and I’m like no girl u need to go to the hospital

Fireworks show :)))))

Killed a chicken and lost his off-leash privileges 😞

satisfying

A mouse built a nest inside one of my dirty socks in a laundry basket. Honestly… impressive.

Midyear grouch report

10yo: what are you guys talking about? Me: the World Cup… the men’s World Cup is happening right now 10yo: there’s a MEN’s soccer league?!

Hoping Nolan’s ODYSSEY will keep the gods and monsters, but if they cut my favorite thing about it - the horny lesbian couple Rosie and Dawn who are always doing hand stuff - there’ll be hell to pay

Not sure i’m understanding the vision today

Dropped a library book into the bath 😞

My house (1885) Wool blanket on my kid’s bed (1950s - was my mom’s) Linen napkins (were my grandma’s, I don’t think they’re OLD old but 1970s or 80s wouldn’t surprise me)

A couple months ago we got a package delivered to the previous homeowners and they told us to keep it bc they’d gotten a replacement. It turned out to be two Owalas that are patterned like golf balls. I took one to the gym today and it’s VERY goofy

Who up worrying they might have said something awkward on Monday?

11yo’s new thing is constantly humming the zojirushi rice cooker song 🫠

I hit snooze one (1) time and someone launched an entire investigation to find out why breakfast was late

Actually the worst thing about being sick this week is that all the lindens are blooming and I can barely smell them 😞

Summer colds should be illegal Sniffling and coughing are WINTER bullshit

it only tuesday :(

I have so many hobbies where I could make coasters, and yet, the only coaster in my entire house is an air hockey puck

11yo and I have been spending a lot of time scrolling the DoggyDNA subreddit together, so I finally dug up Charlie’s DNA test results to show her. I think it was 2012 when I got it done? The tests have come a long way since then

The Airbnb tenants brought us a coffee shop gift card to apologize for the RV and barking dogs, and it turns out I CAN be bought off

Reading a Rich People Being Bad thriller that should be extremely up my alley, but one of the main characters has a neurodivergent kid who is difficult in EXACTLY the same way my neurodivergent kid is difficult, and it's stressing me out

Look who mastered one (1) skill at his first training class!

I am extremely running out of patience for living next door to an Airbnb

The corgi dna is showing

I don’t care if Dubai chocolate is a marketing gimmick, I don’t care if it’s a fad that everyone else was done with months ago, I WANT MORE I WANT IT ALL

i fear we have no choice but to fill the reflecting pool with beans

My dog sitting in the other room when I open the bag of shredded cheese in the kitchen:

Satisfying cycling moment when a driver passed me rather unsafely, then half a block later stopped at a red light and I pulled ahead into the green bike box (which he was, of course, half blocking) and then he full stalled out his engine trying to beat me when the light changed. CLOWN SHIT

🥲

he got bit by an animal and became that animal

Is there a specific name for those caramels that are soft and crumbly and melty, NOT sticky/chewy? I crave the soft crumbly caramels

okay but what if a 10-year-old thinks moby dick is better than middlemarch, what then. where are they supposed to go

A lot of people are confused by the concept of “cat years" so here's a little guide: 0-1 years - just a little baby 1-3 years - just a little baby 4-9 years - just a little baby 10+ years - just a little baby

I invite all the air conditioning haters to come hang out in my 72° house and see the error of their ways

thoughts and prayers 🙃

90°+ and a strong east wind is nightmare weather 😭 nothing good comes from a hot day with an east wind

eating in mexico as a european has gotta be like hearing music for the first time

If coffee helps you concentrate it means you have ADHD

My plan to save movie theaters is that they should turn the sound down a little bit and put captions on

Influenced someone else to get a minivan 😎

Now that we’ve lived in this house for 8 months i gotta say, I hate cooking on a gas stovetop SO MUCH, loathe it with every fiber of my being, I never want to make dinner because I hate using it so much. I thought I would acclimate but I hate it more with every passing day

New foods my picky 11yo has tried and enjoyed in the last ~2 weeks: curly fries, brown rice, a burger, fry sauce, pickled onions, egg salad

When I adopted Bandit they told me his dog was “mostly border collie, maybe some heeler.” Now that Bandit has lost a little weight and I can see his body shape better, he is looking verrrryyyyy cattle dog 😅 (bad photo bc I forever have sunscreen smudged on my camera lenses)

I have no idea what’s going on with basketball but I’m happy for you or sorry that happened