SUBJECTS: I seek members of my kingly court. Comment if you would like to join my court and i will dub thee with an appropriate title

The harvest fails, my peasants revolt, and raiders threaten my borders on all sides. The council urges quick action, but a wise king knows that hasty decisions are met with certain death. - The Pondering King

i’m trying something new on here, a Wholesome Poster type character called The Pondering King. I hope you enjoy The Pondering King

supreme court rules your vote will not be counted unless election official consummates receipt of your ballot by kissing you with tongue

this should be such an easy PR layup for dems. “our political enemies are so weak and fragile, they die from pickleball”. bring pickleballs into congress and pump fake at mcconnell, then tell everyone he shit his pants. ads with chuck schumer tearing it up on the court across from a dead elephant

this is your mission. our pedophile president needs you to put on a tactical vest and go to the newark airport at 6 am on monday. your order is to wander around like a confused oaf. when a mom drops her sandwich at jersey mike's and scares you, pull out your gun and start shooting. good luck soldier

about me: i live in a very small house on top of a very tall mountain. i eat rocks that i dig out of the dirt. my best friend is a little rodent who lives on my mountain. my worst enemy is a bird who hunts the rodent.

what was i even idly holding all the time before i had breasts

*messaging a cis gay dude on grindr* hiiiii baby i know ur m4m but do u make exceptions for cd? *sends terrible dick pic in jock strap and sweaty wife beater* meet up? rn? *2 days later* can i see your henis?

don’t make love and don’t make war. make FRIENDS with chipmunks in the park! - the wholesome poster

good morning posters! today, tell your best friend FIVE things you love about them FOUR memories you cherish with them THREE things you want to do with them TWO times they really pulled through for you ONE thing you can taste about them

i live my life by one guiding principle: i try always to act in ways that sow just the right karmic seeds so that i am reincarnated as a cool monster truck

yesterday my friend mentioned posting on bluesky, and i remembered bluesky exists. i’m sorry i forgot about you all. you are just as real to me as my followers on other sites, and i am equally as committed to fostering a parasocial relationship between you and your imagined version of me

guys should i bring back The Wholesome Poster? Does the world need her now more than ever?

“sharps container” is government propaganda meant to restrict your freedom of expression. i have half a dozen capped needles rolling around on my desk. the world is my sharps container

i’m reposting shit from twitter again. if you’ve seen it before, no you didn’t

[wrestling match in 2026] The Consensual Bonecrusher: WHEN I GET OUT OF THIS ARM BAR I WILL TEAR YOUR HEAD OFF. IF THATS ALRIGHT WITH YOU? The BPDemon: TAP OUT IF YOU DONT LOVE ME. TAP OUT IF YOU WANT ME TO DIE

TOMORROW is QUEER MAGIC NIGHT at BROOKLYN GAME KNIGHT!!! We’ll be playing some COZY CUBES and CHILLY COMMANDER 🥶🥶🥶 7PM!! COME THRU AND BE GAY (haha get it) AND MERRY

if you’re in the NYC area you should be aware and attending @lotusbloomnyc.bsky.social the first Tuesday of the month (which includes tomorrow!!) seriously one of the best vibes of any magic event ive ever attended :) go cube with queers!!!

TONIGHT’S THE NIGHT! Come thru and play some Magic with friends. It’ll be a night to remember also PLZ VOTE

we had a record-breaking turnout for our QUEER MAGIC NIGHT last night! thank you to everyone who came, and it was so sick seeing everyone in costume :) can’t wait for the next one on NOVEMBER 4TH!!!!

I'm selling stickers to help pay for my transition because trans healthcare ain't cheap! Save 20% by buying the bundle of 5 designs or 20 of any combination of stickers. nyc-mtg.myshopify.com don't like stickers? patreon.com/NYC_MTG to support me a different way! Reposts appreciated ❤️

this is ur sign to join my eunuch council

We're excited this month to host a COSTUME CONTEST! Come through in your scariest costume, your funniest joke, or that one niche film reference that no one else will get! We'll have prizes for our favorite costumes AND we'll be raffling off some goodies throughout the night!

WAKE UP HONEY, IT'S OCTOBER AND THAT MEANS TIME FOR LOTUS BLOOM!!! COME THROUGH TO BROOKLYN GAME KNIGHT ON 10/7 AT 7PM TO GATHER SOME MAGIC!!!

so: what do we need you to do? two things. 1.call your D/I senators. find contact info here: reps.fyi what do we need you to say? try the call script below. adapt it; make it your own! there are bailout points written in, in case you get nervous. but please *call.* 🧵

would you look at that, cat’s in the cradle again. and i bet- yup. there it is folks. it’s got the silver spoon

this is a gentle reminder that you can hire me to produce live stream coverage for your Magic event (i travel too!)

I would burn timothee chalamet out in 4 turns. Chain Lightning face. He feels like hes drowning. Lightning Bolt your blocker of course he’s tapped out. Ladybird sucked kill yourself. And Bang Fireblast. Youre at 0. You were was always at 0. Youve been 0-2 since the day you were born

LOTUS BLOOM TOMORROW NITE AT BROOKLYN GAME KNIGHT! 7PM! RSVP IN OUR DISCORDDDD THANKS I LOVE YOU

i know i don’t pass cause i only shoot #chaser

this trans woman was taken into ICE custody tonight over a 3-year old weed charge. she faces torture in men’s detention centers or self-deportation and leaving behind everything she knows (if she can afford that option). please support if you’re able

$14 away from $1,500!! Can we reach our goal of $2,000 before the end of the event?? Donate down below!!! www.gofundme.com/f/cube-for-a...

it’s ur duty to break into every abandoned toys r us u see. they cask of amantillo’ed jeffrey the giraffe in one of them. only u can save him

our little community has grown so fast in just four months!!! :) if you’re a queer NYC Magic player come play with us!

come through and draft ROOMIE CUBE or play EDH at our monthly Queer Magic Nights at Brooklyn Game Knight! Next one is 8/5 at 7pm, join our Discord to RSVP!!!

it’s actually good there r no drafts on bluesky. thats anti-imperialist praxis

The digital edition of Picnic Vol. 1 is pay-what-you-want, (truly feel free to pay $0) but anything you decide to give goes right back into our mission of paying trans writers, photographers, and illustrators to do work we're all proud of we love you, -almita

you mess with the horns, you get the whole rest of the bull

i can’t be trusted with a gun, i’d want to do bits with it. and obviously the bits would be funnier if the gun was loaded

DATE IDEA Me: bound to my mother’s throne, spilling family secrets under hypnotic compulsion My thoughtwardens, guardians of my body and mind: slain on my antechamber floor you, assassin: thinking i’m prettier than you expected and wondering if my escape pod seats two DM ME

i’m gonna be more active here bringing you more of the good content that you like to enjoy 👍 if you follow me on twitter pls bear with me while i shamelessly repost my favorite tweets here for clout and notoriety

*after losing round 1 at FNM and falling into the chump bracket* y’all fucked up and let a fox in the hen house

the wholesome poster is done. it’s over. bit is played out. there’s only so many ways to say “wake up and smell the rainbows”. on to bigger and better things.

your goat is washed and probably gay

caught a fucking 12 hour ban on twitter cause of its stupid ai moderation now im pissed off on bluesky yall fucked up and let a fox in the hen house

good morning posters! today, tell your best friend FIVE things you love about them FOUR memories you cherish with them THREE things you want to do with them TWO times they really pulled through for you ONE thing you can taste about them

good morning to all my friends :) it’s a cruddy day in new york. but i always tell myself you can’t have a rainbow without a little rain :) 🌈 #PRIDE