Sometimes getting your wife appliances for her birthday is okay

Honeydew is the industrial tomato of melons … flavorless due to capitalism, not its inherent properties.

I recently started using my 2010 Kindle and this thing has better battery life than any of my newer devices. Still works like a charm.

I wore pencil skirts and silk blouses with a full face to work for a decade. Now that I’m working in tech, everyone wears jeans and sneakers and I’m a little salty that I don’t get to wear suits unless I’m going to a wedding or something.

Surely there is no more annoying autocorrect than “he’ll yeah”

Opens a can of worms, but I’d support denying state Local Government Aid for any municipality signing a 287(g) agreement with the Feds. Isle got $97k from LGA — which just about offsets the $107,500 the Feds will give them for terrorizing people of color. Let LGA go to places upholding justice.

Reminder: the easiest way to get instant gratification is to give away your money. Your boss was a jerk to you? Go pay someone’s rent Read something horrific online? Go pay for someone to eat tonight It works for everything. Tummy aches, tv shows being cancelled, even traffic!

I really need well meaning cis people to stop using folx. Folks is already gender neutral. I encourage you to think less “how can I signal my inclusivity” and more “what kind of mutual aid funds exist to support trans people in my area” and “how much can I afford to give each month”

New glasses arrive today. Cannot wait to turn the font size back down on all my devices.

IP in CIDR? Not if I can help it.

My submission for the Super Bowl dip contest was called “too grown up” and I didn’t win anything. Next year I’m thinking some kind of sweet fondue situation. If I want to crack the top 5 again I think I have to start practicing now.

Breaking: Tragedy at the Winter Olympics

It’s very important to communicate with your wife so that you don’t each order 80 pounds of kitty litter from the same store.

I really wish people who don’t know anything about Minneapolis would shut the fuck up. Frey is a cowardly, opportunistic piece of shit.

Tom Morello is the most chill, normal celebrity I’ve ever met. Can’t process all my feelings about this concert yet, but this clip made me more emotional than I was prepared for.

Not everything needs an integration. It’s actually fine to take three clicks to do something instead of standing up a bunch of infrastructure to get it down to one.

“My what dashing boards you have,” said Little Dev Riding Hood. “All the better to observe you with, my dear,” cried the wolf before devouring her!

Friends why are we changing our signal names with status updates? I’m not talking about changing to something new, I mean like “PP(currently pooing) changed their profile name to PP(wiping, brb)”

Eight years ago yesterday was the worst day of my life. My dad was dying and the visiting nurse service wouldn’t send someone until 24 hours after he was discharged from the hospital. He was in horrific condition. He kept asking why he hadn’t died yet.

half the userbase of this website is addicted to the dopamine hit that comes with "all is loss" bad news. they want to spiral out and resent you when you tell them something tethered to reality.

Many are saying don’t donate to the Strib. What they’re forgetting is that you shouldn’t read it either.

So, uh, I know his most recent term just started, but is there a process for removal of this useless camera-seeking mayor?

In case you haven’t heard it yet today - fuck Python. It’s a great language for learning but I hate hate hate configuring these fucking environments.

Anyway, our mayor being cheered on by people from outside of Minneapolis is also giving me 2020 flashbacks and uh . . . he does sometimes say good things! But do not expect much from him beyond that. We'll see. (heavy sigh.)

This is why I’m pushing for a state escrow account that holds federal funds before sending them on to Washington. If Trump wants to steal our tax dollars that were legally appropriated by Congress, then we should just be paying ourselves.

I once told my father he looked like a criminal in his license photo and he said Yeah, a registered sex pretender.

Dang. I quit cigarettes 18 years ago.

What do you mean Crystal Methyd looks like Gucci Pineapple? These words shouldn’t go together.

25 years ago I visited a town that was wired with fiber internet. I think we’re past the era of mind blowing technological advances.

Oh no all the male ducks we keep in a room together are cumming so much they need to wear diapers: a real conversation I’m listening to this Christmas.

I’m sorry to say this is how I dance when the drag race credits start.

What do you mean the lord is cum?

I’ve got a tight five on speed dial

How come when the children put a hat on Frosty and he comes to life it’s cute and kitschy, but when I write “emet” on this lump of clay and it comes to life suddenly I’m “bringing destruction on the whole village” and I have to “make it stop??”

Community this. Community that. Some of you need cum unity.

Wait he just put salt and pepper on a roll. Out of my element.

Sitting with the youth pastor and his frum girlfriend at a wedding. In my element.

It’s a Troop Beverly Hills kinda day

Lady Gaga (hetero remix)

SpongeBob getting his back blown out in the Macy’s parade

I usually hate my birthday but this year my wife and I are making my two favorite foods, one of which I haven’t had in years!

Minneapolis has a new queer heavy music festival.

Why does the veggietales version of Jesus Take the Wheel sound like Strongbad?

Wife doesn’t like it when I call her my favorite friend but it’s true.

I’m feeling indignant that the best by May 2024 frozen food I ate this morning is hurting my tummy.

Hi Minnesotan Bluesky: The DFL has a well-known transphobia problem. I'm organizing to change the party platform in 2026 to be explicitly supportive of trans people in Minnesota. This will provide a basis for expelling transphobia from our party. Join me: abetterdfl.org.