Congratulations to Satan on finally dragging Dick Cheney’s soul to hell.

You guys are nuts, this is hilarious.

For sale: baby shoes, $30!??? Inspired by my recent attempt to buy some baby shoes at the store.

I’m reading Northanger Abbey and just marveling at Jane Austen’s ability to perfectly capture a particular type of guy who sucks.

This phrasing feels wrong to me. Shouldn’t it just be “Rain Forecast” with no -ed? Forecast is a noun and a verb phrase…I think?? This feels like “I eated lunch.” Help, I need someone smart! This bothers me every time rain is forecast!

You know what’s nice? When you’re carrying a baby on your shoulders and the baby leans down to look at your face and then pats your head. Top human experience right there.

The new Superman movie was unexpectedly cathartic. Love watching bad guys lose.

it is because they want to impoverish the country! they don’t want high end manufacturing. they want americans working subsistence wages making t shirts and clothes hangers

The baby woke up in the middle of the night and I took him to the window so we could see the eclipse. But I couldn’t even see the moon! I was so mad I’d missed it. This morning I realized “couldn’t see the moon” is LITERALLY what an eclipse is. Good news, I saw it, and I’m just tired and stupid!

Imagine DOGE opens your mail and finds your household electric bill. To eliminate this cost, they burn your house down without warning. Then they total up the bills that, as a homeless person, you will never again pay. On its website, DOGE boasts about the money it has saved you.

So - I've actually led Ebola outbreak response at USAID. This is bunk from Elon. They have laid off most of the experts, they're bankrupting most of the partner orgs, have withdrawn from WHO, and muzzled CDC. What's left is a fig-leaf effort to cover their asses politically.

Public comment is now open for passport gender marker changes. You can go here to go to each of the three proposed passport rules, and submit comment. My suggestion: be unique, argue for trans-inclusive policies, against the constitutionality of the changes, etc. www.reddit.com/r/Passports/...

I see the same thing with the “fork in the road” email. It planted the idea that ALL the fired fed workers are being paid through September, which is obviously a lie.

I emailed Sen. Eric Schmitt to ask about the impact of MO losing thousands of federal jobs and he responded by calling the fired workers “nameless, faceless bureaucrats who are not accountable to the American people.” Dude, they ARE the American people! It’s our friends and neighbors. It’s us!!

MY MUM, SEPTEMBER 11TH 2001: oh God. It's all too much MY DAD: Jesus. Did you hear about the Pentagon ME, SIX YEARS OLD, HAVING LEARNED MY SHAPES THAT MORNING: yes :)

Did storytime for some delightful toddlers, then called my stupid horrible senators. Living through a coup, baby! It’s all so stupid.

if you're a democratic senator and you're still voting to confirm trump nominees despite him allowing elon musk to gleefully dismantle the government then your brain has fallen out of your ass.

simply repeating the straight reporting of what is happening in the executive branch makes you sound like you have lost your mind.

There’s a coup happening and my horrible senators’ voicemails are full. Please at least listen to your messages you useless chucklefucks.

Beans DO NOT help you call down after a stressful meeting. What the fuck.

Me facing 2025

does the grinch have a cloaca

Get them while they are hot! Free COVID test kits available again. special.usps.com/testkits

I found this amazing painting at a Catholic rummage sale and I need more people to appreciate it. A little dish of eyeballs!!!

Tiny kid at the library, maybe 2-and-a-half: I know where it is. I checked online. Kid's mom: What did it say? Tiny kid: It said w w w w w w w............w.

My truest, most annoying, but best self is the person I am when rereading Wolf Hall and getting all emotional about Thomas Cromwell. "He came from NOTHING! Yes, he's the villain! But his daughter had little angel wings made from peacock feathers and the Cardinal was brought low!!!!"

My work's Wellness Program slideshow includes this blurry jpeg of a skull.

we did it, joe

Congratulations to Satan on finally dragging Henry Kissinger to hell!

Charging my little electric car, walking to the little community center gym, then walking to my little job at the little library. I'm living in Richard Scarry's Busytown, baby!

For storytime tomorrow I'm doing the entire Jon Klassen "Hat" series. I Want My Hat Back, This Is Not My Hat, and We Found a Hat. This is it. This is my Ring cycle. This is the storytime I have been planning my whole career, and in which I might become Lydia Tár, but, like, in a good way.

Young teen at the library just had his mind absolutely blown using the copier. "It just made a real paper copy of my actual paper? I'm like a mad scientist!"

I hate to enter the Killers of the Flower Moon pee discourse, but this is a serious problem??? My spouse won't see a four-hour movie and my friends don't want to form a pee-break/movie watching tag-team with me.

One Christmas one of my uncles gave me and my siblings each a box labeled “Uncle Pat’s Party Pack” with some scratchers, airplane bottles of booze, a Jack Daniels tank top (iirc) and some cash in small bills. We were all ages 10-16. I think about it at least once a month.

Within a decade you’ll be able to imagine your own movie. You’ll just lie back and close your eyes, and experience a movie in your head, starring yourself, where you’re naked at school or your teeth fall out.

Joni Mitchell voice, as I clean cat pee from the rug: Bissell Little Green, like the color when the spring is born Bissell Little Green, like the nights when the northern lights perform

Two very loud libertarians are having a friendly argument in the next booth at this ihop and oh my jesus, I feel like I’m in a living Reddit thread.

Oh hi.