hell yeah [whatever they were trying to get me to say]

One time about a decade ago I got on the tube into a mostly empty car and then at the next stop approximately 1 million Galatasaray supporters piled in and they were so nice about trying not to squish me and spent to 10 minutes we were riding together trying to teach me to say something in Turkish

so many Ecuador fans crying and making the classic dad i'm so proud of you face

who?

it only took zlatan 44 years to use his words instead of his giant forehead

yesterday Zlatan told Lalas he forgot that he was a football player.

my birthday is in nov

the bad news is if you're gardening in boyle heights your soil is definitely full of bad stuff the good news is you can't grow enough backyard tomatoes for it to matter

no one has ever looked harder for the guy who did this

free food in breakroom

the human instinct to put googly eyes on a thing at least as old as the human instinct to make a weird little guy

dead, bad, and as the person deputized to talk to Nephew about boundaries re: the person he definitely has an unacknowledged crush on, I believe I am now his dadaunt

being in your 40s is just thinking "you can have tajin asparagus with dinner again tonight, no one can stop you," 2-3 times a week like people are lining up to judge your asparagus choices

we love a goal where not even the guy who took the shot thought it was on target

really feels like a missed opportunity not to have the commentators on the 9pm world cup games doing Tequila Nights or whatever

how do I get some of the referee magic potion???!?

save of the goddamn tournament right there

last seasons are overrated

update to this rule in honor of korea's purple kit: if you blend two colors from your flag, that is also acceptable

every generation gets its de Tocqueville

guys the problem is that upholstery foam is made from petroleum byproducts. Vance was always going to cave

never change england

good morning an intern who thought they were updating a personal background accidentally updated everyone's background on the company intranet homepage to a pattern of clipart capybaras

you know who I miss, the bitey guy from Argentina, what was his name I mean not really he was a terrible person but god that time he chomped someone and then pretended he'd been punched in the mouth by the guy's ear was funny

god I cannot wait to never see messi ever again

Iraq v Norway surprisingly spicy

I just think it would not be so much to ask I just believe that in the world's foremost dying superpower I should be able to acquire a giant christmas tin of butter cookies in june

i did not know these were songs tbh

baby's first podcast recording today

fuuuuuck that

guys you can just drink regular milk, it's fine

congratulations to tunisia and sweden on knowing what colors are in their flag and dressing appropriately, an otterpop for everybody involved

FINE I will eat dinner

spencer it just a phrase, you don't literally cook the books abc7.com/amp/post/fir...

would u rather drop dead on a sunday morning or get eaten alive by mosquitos watching a ufc fight

everything about this game has a real kicked off at midnight EST, mods asleep, yell soccerrrrrrrrrrrrrrroos whenever the opportunity presents itself kind of energy

ok, well australia v turkey is kicking off now, so I assume everyone is sticking around for that.

does it really count if you didn't heart attack the president tho

I am just saying I watched 3 soccer games today and saw 5 points total, 183 points is nonsense

ok here is the National Team kit rule: you must play in the colors of your flag. Right now, we have Haiti (flag: red and blue) playing Scotland (flag: blue and white). What are the teams wearing? Haiti: white and blue. Scotland: red and blue. a pox on both your houses

hey john f kennedy don't go to dallas or your head'll go kerblemeddy

look it wouldn't be a world cup if there wasn't a jersey problem. a fucked up saddle shoulder is less exciting than the year everyone's jerseys tore easier than jim kirk's

it's probably great that the camera keeps cutting to a parade of half-asleep elderly celebrities, that's how you project strength

I have paid, basically, no attention to men's soccer at any level for about 5 years, but I'm looking at the USMNT jersey - did they finally remove their stolen valor championship stars from the badge???

for the love of god if you are watching this game in the states watch on telemundo

guys even if you find one, they're not going to TAKE the treatment. what if it gives their kid 5G????

coming from a sport where 3-0 is a blowout, 213 points in a single sports game is too many points

I am in need of a pill cutter and am disappoint that I cannot find one in guillotine form

character needed to make a show-stoppingly impressive multi-course meal and made: caesar salad, chicken parm, and sorbet

biggest scandal since his wife wore moderately expensive shoes on loan