ah, the old familiar song of a man who is a refusing to go to couples counseling

this is why the opening scenes of the Little Mermaid hit so hard

every one of these dweebs bought a tour shirt from a guy outside the stadium and then wore it in to see the show

this bitch literally will not shut up about Aurelius' Meditations, make up your tiny mind marc

Calico Ghost Town, which sounds way cooler than it is, there's not a single ghost there at all, it's just a gold rush boom town that got decently preserved

congratulations to everyone who got a gold medal at Movies

do a plié timbo, you're already in second position

noise pollution good for one (1) thing

hot damn the orange groves bloomed while I was gone

last uber of the work trip, always an equally blesséd and curséd experience

We're on the cutting edge of spoon technology here folks.

it's one boat, Michael, how much oil could it hold?

I am as small -r republican as they come but tbh after 700 years they're just bones they don't even smell bad anymore you can probably just leave them be

the one thing we didn't do in Afghanistan was Salang Tunnel 2.0, but we've got another bite at that apple if we can just get Elon over there to build a big tesla tunnel

the middle aged millennial high of going out to dinner with a coworker and discovering you have the same taste in podcasts

oh chicago is having Weather weather

this man did not have 15 statistics and social sciences professors start their first lecture of the class with an amusing anecdote about how ice cream sales and murders peak at the same time of year

self, this tiny piece of internet hoohaw is simply not your business you need not lose and entire sunday evening to investigating it

the first opera (Dafne by Jacopo Peri roughly 1597-1598) was written about two centuries after Chaucer lived (1343-1400) but we appreciate the sentiment, Geoff

I'm gonna be in Chicago for work next week and it just occured to me that they might still be having Weather

having a minor midlife crisis and considering buying a pair of enormous fuck-off combat boots

rickroll is the eternal joke format

this asshole thinks his name is Markwayne Mulligan

no? the video of kidd rock pulling off his shirt and smacking RFK on the ass isn't doing it?

His weakness was failing to apply this lesson to appointing leaders of the countries he conquered where his signature move was, "what if my dipshit brother"

time for my favorite spring day - the first day it's both warm and super windy and I can throw all the windows open and just let it rip

Baz Luhrmann's Don Giovanni

I witnessed a murder when I was 11.

I was with him until "America can't take this level of gaslighting." This country can take truly unfathomable levels of gaslighting.

UK grandad did something financey that he had retired from and was raising sheep on a hobby farm in Wales by the time I knew him. LA grandad was a lawyer (the kind that mostly does wills and divorces and such) and mostly worked out of a booth in the deli he owned with my grandma.

Are you there, Cod? It’s me, Margotter

nah man that's just debate kid face. he's trying to rhetoric his way out of a corner. I once got assigned North Korea in model UN and won a debate while arguing for self-genocide and I guarantee that was the face I had the whole time.

I know I say this about every guy who is hard launching a new look but this man is about to get divorced

I watch a lot of truly trash documentaries and every week or so I think about starting a single-topic account here documenting the weirdest chair placement for interviews

we'd still be in the middle of a war but at least it wouldn't be such a fucking stupid one

dusting off my "yeehaw is not a foreign policy" bumper sticker

you can't let nazis in the bar because then it's a nazi bar

I need to preface the following thought with a disclaimer: any criticism of the Iranian regime in the following post should not be interpreted as justification for literally anything. Ok.

I'm sure it's bad and dangerous but I'd take a two week nap tbh

smdh it's like no one remembers the very famous parable about teaching a fish to ring a doorbell

catching up on The Pitt and I love and am going to murder the clerk himbos

Maduro

she moved out but we're not announcing the divorce just yet

no

it's probably for the best though, imagine an American hockey player getting a hug from Stanley Tucci and being told they did a good job and he's proud of them, you could cause a fatal emotional breakdown in a guy with no tolerance for that

both of my parents were civil servants (teacher and water dept engineer) and I have been a corporate shill all my life say what you will about capitalism but my neighbors don't get to vote on whether they should pay for my job which just feels more honest

I've got two relatively short work trips coming up to Chicago in March and Nashville in April and the idea of traveling in back to back months is suddenly exhausting

thoughts and prayers

I'm legit not sure he's capable of standing for 3 hrs, they're gonna have to pump him full of the super cocaine they gave him when he got covid

Nephew is texting me pictures from the high school open house because he is starting high school in the fall