the first back to the future is a perfect movie, but the second is a *better* movie. do you get what i mean?

i finally watched the thing last night, and i can't stop thinking about the moment when the computer is like beep boop you're fucked

i actually don't think most baking is even half as scientific as everyone says

i would say a solid 35% of the time when i click mindlessly on an old navy ad that caught my eye, it's toddler clothes

TRUE LOVE IS POSSIBLE ONLY IN THE NEXT WORLD -- FOR NEW PEOPLE. IT IS TOO LATE FOR US.

lying in bed listening to "this year" with gritted fucking teeth

i connect to my early human ancestors by being a persistence hunter (when there is a fly in my house, i wait for it to go near a window and then open the window and then wait for it to go on the screen and then shut the window)

@electrolemon.bsky.social hey demi, hope you're well. my friends and i saw your backflip show and have laughed every time we think about "anita juandez," but we forget the other name/s like that, that you use in the show. are you willing to remind us so we can add to our repertoire?

sick in the way meg ryan gets sick in you've got mail

WHO WILL ANSWER

feelin Bad once again. you can set your clock to it. or like, your calendar at least

I experienced a minor malfunction. I'm okay now.

the boots theory of economics did not account for the possibility of boot rentals or BNPL

i met sisyphus, and she was a woman

i don't do traditionally risky activities like gambling or skydiving, but i do listen to mitski when i am pretty sure i'm PMSing

listening to spotify idly thinking, huh, i like every single song that's playing! neat! then realizing it is playing the playlist "liked songs"

Time to go to work in the shit factory!

yeah dude

we are so fortunate to have john darnielle

getting. dog for birthday.

I can still fix it.

YOU - “Lamby looks soft.” LITTLE LILY - “Yes. Very soft.” Suddenly she pushes the stuffed animal toward your face. YOU - “I don't deserve it. I'm scum.”

(lmfao voice) 🎶 sorry for info dumping 🎶

i blocked the hot stove and i still keep trying to touch it. bending over backwards, going out of my way, giving everything to touch the hot stove

sending my cordless vacuum into overstim turning it on over and over when it's dying

i still think this is funnier than i got credit for

my OCD:

tinder style swiping app where you say if you want to play D&D with someone and if enough of you get good vibes from each other, the app puts together the table for you

getting a burner phone to use for marketing texts

“UN JOUR JE SERAI DE RETOUR PRÈS DE TOI”

saying "just wait" and then sending a picture after

SOMETHING BEAUTIFUL IS GOING TO HAPPEN

nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is bisexual, for the record

would you love me if i was a wyrm?

is there any funnier punctuation combo than "space, question mark"

why is it sooooooo embarrassing when i'm getting a tattoo and someone asks "oh, what of?"

guy who serves on the board of advisors for the Ouija Corporation: "it's fine, yeah, everyone always says it's confusing."

Indeed I did, and its contents will be seen no more in this world. Nor shall this be the last bag of Twizzlers wreck’d, and wreck’d entire, at my hand

sometimes you just have to prepare three kinds of lightly-preserved fruit and two different things to eat them on, and that's just life.

thinking about richie thebear

applying a "PMS" status condition that labels my avatar for others around me to know what they're engaging with

it's not a shock, but i'm pretty fuckin sad about ozzy

Ruminating, too, for that matter

wallowing must hit so hard if you're an ungulate

every once in a while i get a glazed donut from the nice donut place and i had one from dunkin this morning that was just awful. they just fell off. it’s not even that big a price difference. you only make this kind of donut if you want to hurt people trying to start their day with a smile

is it too much to ask to find an established, loving, committed group of friends who eagerly want to start a regular D&D game

it's raining and i finished a novel length story today and i have a cobbler in the oven in my home and none of those things really existed to me a year ago. whoa.

thinkin bout tony soprano tbh

for when you yearn to be underwater