Up at 5:00, but blessed with the most luminous golden sunrise amidst the fog.

it's one thing to have opinions completely untethered to reality, and it's another to air them

My newest hobby is replying “That’s such a cis thing of you to say” to transphobic cis women.

Someone just catcalled me out of a driving car while I took out the trash. Men aren’t lonely enough yet given that I can hear them yapping even on the goddamn backwater gravel road I live at.

It’s 11:24 PM, we’ve loaded the car up at the tail end of a move, we’re absolutely spent and almost ready to go home, and the boot latch just broke. I believe I’ve said this a lot in the past few months, but at this point euthanasia is the only humane option for me.

KakapoContent! Und richtig guter. Weiter so!

I’m currently navigating two Swedes through an IKEA and inexplicably, I’m the only one that knows how IKEAs work. Anyways, from here on out I’ll only enter IKEAs with a token neurotypical friend. Someone come pick me up in the Småland, please.

Someone on the evil short format app is attempting to explain to me that the cat should not eat grass. Ma’am, she is 22. I’d serve her a garnished fusion core if she asked for it.

Was slightly confused because there’s a dead bird in my kitchen. I did leave the door open, but none of our four cats are big hunters and only stay in the garden. Turns out the poor guy flew in through the open door and straight into the kitchen island, presumably because of sudden darkness.

When they say cats are a reflection of their owner and you realize your cat always wants a little treat, hates new people, is a little chunky, and gets tired just from existing. 🙋🏻‍♀️

I may have broken my back and eight nails, but I moved one bed a floor up, assembled another giant bed in a very small room, moved a couch into its designated spot, moved a chaise longue out of the couch’s designated spot into its new parking position, and provided a new cosy corner for the cat.

If you’ve ever spent a second in the same room as me, you know I suffer from delusional levels of “I can do this myself”-syndrome. In my defense, I ✨did✨ disassemble a queen size bed downstairs, and reassembled it upstairs. The mattress being stuck on the stairs is a sacrifice I’m willing to make.

"Ma'm I have a breakfeast reservation" *paws slip across table* "Sir you mean breakfast?" "Did I fucking stutter?"

What do you mean, two summers ago I was in a psych ward with burnout so ferocious that it was gnawing at every inch of my brain ( plus the repercussions of a terrible relationship) and now I get to sit in the garden of my little green farmhouse with my ancient cat & the loml and it’s peaceful?

A morsel, please? A sliver of sausage?

Got woken up at 5:30 by @bearlawyer.bsky.social telling me to set an alarm for 8:00 so we could get the youngest to gymnastics. Told him to do it himself, he couldn’t find his phone. Cue 8:00, he gets angry because my alarm is going off even though “Kid has no gymnastics today”.

As a #caturday gift, we found cursed fettuccine this morning, so it is deworming day. Three out of four cats behaved excellently. Guess who spat out the tablet?

We just had a tiny earthquake and the antique cat hissed at the sky. Same, girl, same.

People often tell me they stop creating because they get discouraged by the process, so I've vowed to post more works in progress to show that looking wonky af is part of the creative process. So here's a half finished cat where no proportion works and the light has left his eyes aeons ago. #ArtSky

My favourite way to get high is hanging out in a room full of solvents on a random Wednesday.

The Kids saw a motorcade today on their way home and there’s a distinct chance it was Marco Rubio because of a NATO meeting in Helsingborg. I would like to cite 13-year-old: “Hey @bearlawyer.bsky.social, don’t you have a hunting license and a law degree?”

Shhhh, quiet please. The cat is working on her tan.

Someone please lobotomise me. I just spent an hour attempting to put up window film that just wouldn’t stick, only to realise I hadn’t peeled off the backing. At this point it’s a mercy killing, really.

The 9-year-old took an adorable photo of Max yesterday, which I simply cannot gatekeep you from. Enjoy! #CatSky

“Are those dance moves, or are you having a seizure?” - @bearlawyer.bsky.social Reader, it was, in fact, a seizure.

The face of a cat who just pissed into my carrots (and will absolutely do it again). #CatsOfBluesky

Unfortunately, some creature seems to have chewed through a power cable and several thousand households here are without power. So while y’all are practicing stoic bimboism, we’re practising stoic peasantrism. Unfortunately, we’re also in a drought and the manual well is empty. Filthy peasants.

Things the kids have done today: yapped at two different cashiers about flamethrowers (one of which was a very confused gas station employee), role-played shoplifting spaghetti from said gas station, and walked into a parked car with very confused people inside. Someone pass me the quaaludes.

Got the kids on my side. They, too, want a flamethrower. We are pitching it to @bearlawyer.bsky.social as a civil defense measure. He remains unconvinced.

After battering each other with a plastic bottle in the backseat of the car, 13-year-old just told 9-year-old that she is “twice the man [9-year-old] will ever be” and I swear, if I wasn’t already insane, I’d be going insane by now.

So you’re saying capitalism doesn’t work for finding solutions to cataclysmic events that have yet to occur? Huh.

Life’s rough when you are a blind bitch picking up a small blonde child from a sea of children… in Sweden. Remind me to put her into a bright orange hi-vis vest the next time I pick her up from gymnastics.

Sign my petition “Get Lux a weed burner” now!!!!

The youngest is fighting for her life today. I highly recommend zooming in on the individual cats’ faces for additional entertainment value. Also highly recommend limiting the number of highly food motivated, chaos-causing orange cats to no more than two per household. Tops. #CatsOfBluesky

As an aside, our grass is royally fucked with dandelions anyways, and I don’t super like the biodiversity profile of normal lawn grass anyways. Does anyone here have experience with clover or meadow lawns, or any other biodiversity-friendly lawn covering?

Today’s project: trying to weed at least the pathways, line out some of the planting area with stones, try not to cry at all the weeds, and then drown the pathways in mulch in hopes of having fewer fucking dandelions never year. Good luck to me, I guess.

Not to be all sappy, but how lucky I am that this tiny, fragile being is never happier than when we sit in the grass together on a sunny day. How lucky I am to have been chosen by this precious creature.

More breaking news: local antique furious because of interrupted clandestine meeting with dandelions, vows to speak to the intelligence community about the gross violation of privacy she has been subjected to More at 8.

Breaking News: -The baby sugarsnap plants have survived their first night outside! -The Snackpies have finished their mealworms way ahead of lunch time! - Our field correspondent reports bunny sightings on the field, claims he’s not scared of them! More at 8! (Fig 1: Field Correspondent Adorno)

It’s gardening time, bitches!* *time to slather myself in sun screen, knock back three monsters back to back, and then cry at the realisation that I have to actually carry the three packs of bark mulch I bought from the car to the garden

Tfw you’re unmedicated, overstimulated and undercaffeinated and the kids decide it’s the perfect time to check who can imitate Goofy’s laugh best.

Everyone worried about the pandemic implications of Hantavirus (short version - there aren't any) needs to read this important post by Edward Nirenberg.

Anyway the Nordic trans healthcare situation is a crucial battleground for global trans rights, and I'm not joking. Denmark INVENTED gatekeeping of trans healthcare. Nordic care monopolies routinely abuse their authority to lend a veneer of legitimacy to anti-trans hate groups.

When I’m fully disassociated and I put on my active listening face

Good news: there won’t be another lockdown. Bad news: they’ll just let 30% of us die and then complain that sales are down by 30%.

Dass man sie jedoch unter Generalverdacht stellt, ist die Mitursache dieser Dynamik und dient als Rechtfertigung sowohl für Übergriffe als auch für systemische Gewalt. 2/2

Servicepost: Psychisch kranke Menschen werden durchschnittlich SELTENER gewalttätig, als die Durchschnittsbevölkerung. Psychisch kranke Menschen sind durchschnittlich HÄUFIGER von Gewalt betroffen. 1/2

The ancient cat fell asleep on me. My entire body has turned into a singular cramp, I’ve lost circulation to several limbs and my neck is locked in place at an unnatural angle, but you won’t catch me dead moving and risking waking her. She’s the most precious thing on this planet.

Ich suche zwei sehr abgelegene Bücher, aber vielleicht hab ich ja Glück und jemand hat ein PDF. Ich würde auch ein Exemplar abkaufen.