Whoever decided that kids should have hobbies requiring them to be somewhere by 9:00 on a Sunday morning deserves to be shot. On the bright side, Ursa Major and I are having a drawing session at a local McDonalds while we wait for her sister.

We had the most amazing sunrise today, and I’m twitching to get my gouache out now because look at those colours! I still pinch myself because getting to wake up here every day feels like a dream.

Help! Someone waterboard me immediately. Yanks are talking about Eastern Europe.

What's the German word for when Anglophones assume there is a German word for everything

Weirdes Privileg, morgens in einem warmen Bett aufzuwachen und am Telephone zu checken, ob die Apokalypse stattgefunden hat oder nicht.

“Will be”?!

To be fair, it was thoroughly silly of me to assume that just because she’s ancient, the cat wouldn’t waddle her old bones all across the garden to eat grass. Even her brother used his singular brain cell to be mildly worried about her sudden influx of energy and followed her around.

I swear to god, I spend one (1) day gardening and not checking my phone only to come back to the US being more unhinged than ever and casually threatening… (Checks notes) …genocide.

Asked the cubs to grab the old cat from the green house. Found both 9-year-old and 13-year-old strategically placed around the old cat, deliberating how to best approach the terrifying hissing beast. I cannot stop laughing at how pistol whipped this ancient, toothless cat has the whole family.

The dedication with which the ancient cat uses her greenhouse time to flatten my vegetables is almost admirable.

the next mentoring day has been canceled

“Stop, this is elder abuse!!” “Shut up, you walking history tome.” 13-year-old and 9-year-old have no chill with each other this morning.

file under #feelingseen

Damn irgendwer sollte ein Buch darüber schreiben wie der Depp/Heard Prozess und die misogyne Schmierenkampagne gegen Heard als effektives Mittel im antifeministischen Kulturkampf genutzt worden sind um Debatten über Beziehungsgewalt durch Rape Culture Mythen zu ersetzen Oh wait I did that

It is the year 2026 AD. Super hackers have gained illicit backdoor access to the AI Claude through the Chipotle support chat.

Today I got to see a raven, a shire horse, and a decommissioned nuclear power plant. It’s been a good day for this autistic brain already.

Wanted to tell the boyfriend to get going earlier, but instead of the intended “Let’s go, bestie”, I accidentally said “Let’s go, Bitchie”. I swear, I’m never gonna live this one down. The way his head shot around like one of those startled owls, I cannot unsee. Ever.

Joke’s on them, I’m actually both. Though being more autistic than German feels accurate.

@luxwinter.bsky.social just asked me if she "could use Theo as a Nutella warmer." Our discussions over breakfast are something else lemme tell ya.

Happy Birthday to the OG Diva! The cat you are, Miss Mia. ✨💖

EVERBODY SAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY MISS MIA! 🎉🎂😘🎊 Miss Ma’am turns 22 today. I still have to dig for her birthday dress, and there is a salmon cake in her future that she does not know about.

Maybe you could listen to them a little bit less in 2026, Steve?

It’s Thursday before Easter, shortly after 8:00 PM, and @bearlawyer.bsky.social is currently foraging the local forest because we’ve run out of firewood. Mind you, he is doing this while also mildly intoxicated and wearing a dress shirt, as he’s just returned from having drinks with a colleague.

I get so hyped when Deadloch is like “[eerie choral music]”

I’m started to suspect that the alleged cherry tree in my garden is actually a magnolia. If so, I’d be very thrilled about this and Lord have mercy on y’all for the flood of magnolia that is imminent come flowering season.

The old cat’s latest hobby is using her bony old butt to flatten my fledgling spinach. I’d like a refund, please, either on the spinach or the cat.

Public service announcement: it's April 1st, so you might see some stuff in your feed that's about 2% less likely than what's actually happening.

Fact and reality have become indistinguishable. April Fool’s Day means nothing anymore. I’ve read about the papal AI advisor advocating for burning Peter Thiel on the stake for heresy this week. Y’all can’t hurt me.

Very few things make me as happy as Tom Scott being back on YouTube.

We’ve just had a handyman come in to check on our heater. He didn’t speak English and while he worked, we made small talk in Swedish. It was going great until he asked me where in Denmark I’m from. I’ve successfully failed my mission to learn Swedish, accidentally learned Danish (apparently).

Told the kids to hide whatever was still left on the dining table before visitors arrived. Pointed towards a cabinet - bottom half has a solid door, upper half has a glass door with display cases. I’ll give you one wild guess where the kids decided to ✨hide✨ the chaos.

Hey quick question Is there a rule that you, as a cat, must delay all accidents involving bodily fluids until right before your guardian receives visitors? Asking for a fucking friend.

Upside of having a barn: when you expect Sunday visitors, you can just throw stuff into the barn and call it “tidying up” Downside of having a barn: You “tidy up” all the time until eventually, the whole damn barn needs tidying. There is no second barn to tidy the first one into.

It is Sunday, shortly after 9:00. 13-year-old is still sleeping and probably would like to be for the foreseeable future. I have a piece of firewood that doesn’t fit into my fireplace, a table saw, and a golden opportunity.

Tfw your daily chicken nugget is running almost an hour late and your guardian has other, significantly less important plans like tidying the whole damn house. Audacious. #CatsOfBluesky

“Hope is a dangerous thing for a cat like him to have - but he has it”, digital photograph, 2026. #CatsOfBluesky

Someone needs to do research on why ADHD brains feel the need to completely rearrange furniture once the sun sets.

Whenever I garden, Jones gets to come out with me. He’s 16 and the old man doesn’t stray from the garden (peep the tracker!) and likes to eat grass or nap in the sun. Anyways, guess who just got chased through the garden by a big-ass pheasant, Looney Tunes-style? He’s now glued to my leg.

I love finally having a garden, but today is one of those days when I despair at how much tidying up there is to do. I really wish life had blessed me with a smaller, slightly less overgrown garden first so I could at least get the gardening basics down before this mammoth project.

Wat

The antique cat has one of her “looks like a well-loved stuffie” days. It coincides with the first sunny day in a while. I present to you: Miss IlluMia! #CatsOfBluesky

We’re having a gentleman visitor this morning at the cottage. He’s quite possibly the biggest and fluffiest cat I’ve ever seen, and he has opinions. Especially about the smell of other cats on my hands.

A fuse on the inside was blown. We did not find this out through our own ingenuity, but because @bearlawyer.bsky.social called one of his lawyer friends, who’s dad is a former truck driver and knows everyone and anything, who inquired with a guy he knew, who tipped us off about the fuse.

Case in point. There’s a non-zero chance that the antique cat will end me in my sleep tonight.

Living in an ancient house is fun. The other day, I was confused why the correctly installed lamp didn’t turn on, only to find the cable coming out of the ceiling on the other side of the room, dangling into nothingness. Today: why the fuck does the outside unit of the heater/AC not work?

That’s it. The council has decided that you’re going into the soup. #CatsOfBluesky

“I don’t steal from Lidl, because I don’t steal from my people.” The 13-year-old has apparently accepted that courtesy of me, she’s now half Swedish and half German.

“We should get a bunch of kids that are as energetic as 8-year-old and do like… greyhound racing with them.” I think 13-year-old is pretty done with her younger sister at the moment.

“Hey Siri, what’s a Yoko Ono-effect?”

Last night, @bearlawyer.bsky.social shook me awake to very excitedly tell me that we should fix up the tractor so we can start sowing “before the fields go bad, though maybe we should do oat instead of rye”. Reader, I fear the ghosts of the cottage have possessed him. We have no fields, or tractors.