Husband Guy ❤️s his specific brand/type of cereal. He was getting low. I went to order more. SOLD OUT! Frantic, I placed orders anywhere that still showed 1 in stock! I figured most would be cancelled. I was WRONG. 7 boxes just arrived! 😅😂 ME: “You must eat this FOREVER!”

Somebody I don’t know just said, “Howdy!” to me. He’s not dressed like a cowboy. I’m not dressed like a cowboy. And we’re in New Jersey. That’s kinda cool.

Saw two tired parents Carrying A tricycle AND A toddler Who had apparently decided Halfway through their walk That he did NOT want to be Employed As a Really Good Tricycle Driver Anymore But PERHAPS He’ll have A career comeback Tomorrow

What's the street value of tree pollen? Because, hoo boy!

The 4yo has been practicing writing. Presenting: "Totoro"! *chef kiss* No notes!

If you & your fam/school are digging the #moon coverage, you may also ❤️: ⭐️🚀🌕TO THE *ACTUAL* MOON AND BACK🚀🌕⭐️ 📝 by me 🎨 by Dan & Jason @littlebrownyr.bsky.social “BLAST OFF”: 11/24/26! Grateful for pre-orders & Suggest-For-Purchase recs for your library! 🙏 🛸: “THANKS!” #kidlit

Today someone said my outfit was giving Monster High dolls and why is this my favorite Random Compliment ever? 😂!

“…and I’m all out of bubblegum.” Who runs out of bubblegum? It’s cheap and they sell it EVERYWHERE!

My car got new tires. I wonder if it’s happy. Like me when I get new shoes.

Today in Being An Author, I misspelled the word, “intelligent.” 😅!

When you forget to shake the squeezy mustard and IT PEES ALL OVER YOUR FOOD! WHY MUSTARD PEE?! 😫😂!

SPRING CLEAN-UP TIME! ME: “Do we have a wheelbarrow?” HUSBAND GUY: “Yes. But it doesn’t have a wheel.” ME: “So we have a barrow.” 😅😂!

In today’s episode of WHY IS MY LIFE SO WEIRD?, I replaced the standard wheels on my office writing chair with big ✨FANCY✨ wheels— But then MY SHORT LITTLE LEGS COULDN’T REACH THE FLOOR! 😭😅😂!

Peace Treaty AE Hines El Retiro, Colombia When I step naked into my shower, I find, staring down at me, its eight dark eyes peering over the silver lip of the sprayer, a tarantula the size of a bar of soap. There’s a reason we tap out our shoes, [...] poets.org/poem/peace-t...

Could a tiger A toothsome tiger Crack open a bottle Of beer With their teeth Leaving a deep (And neat) Indent In the cap Without hurting their teeth Or the beer

SNOW-SNOW-#SNOW! But from a kid’s perspective, it’s like A BUTT-TON of Play-Doh just fell from the sky! Happy sculpting, little artists! ⭐️⛄️⭐️!

HOORAY 🎉 and THANKS, @jade1313.bsky.social! 😊🎈! SO HAPPY you enjoyed our ⭐️MONSTER OG: OG RESCUES BOP⭐️! We (@eliopictures.bsky.social, the @simonkids.bsky.social gang, & I) are having SO MUCH FUN with OG! MORE MONSTER OG on the way! #kidlit

🐴🐴🐴: We are the wild horses. And we just want to say, That if we really wanted to, We COULD keep you away.

Riding into the weekend like:

In the gardener’s hand, The watering can Looked up at the raincloud And said, “YOUR TURN!”

When you read a short story that’s SO BRILLIANT, you momentarily get a British accent: “I say, ‘WELL DONE!’” 😳😅! “I mean, um, nice job.”

If your homemade cheesecake cracks, HAVE FUN WITH IT! 😂!

It’s SO COLD, the Sani-wipes I leave in my car FROZE into a brick! A Sani-brick! I guess I could just THROW IT at germs! 😂!

🌽🌾🌽🌾🌽🌾: “YES!” ME: “NO!” I like to go against the grain.

Snow day so we made Monte Cristo sandwiches! (They look like they got snowed on, too! 😂!)

Well, this was a nice surprise. Kirkus gave this a star. ⭐️ I TOLD A LITTLE LIE is out in the spring. My debut illustrator picture book. 📕

🎈✨ Tiny book cover reveal! Coming later this year from Simon & Schuster, Monster OG book THREE! Thank you @amedyckman.bsky.social , @sarahpaintsnature, @andreabrownlit.bsky.social , and @jenrofe.bsky.social #kidlitart

I met Ame when her TEA PARTY RULES won the Ezra Jack Keats New Writer Award, and my SOPHIE'S SQUASH was an honor book. It’s been a delight to see her books keep coming. I'm especially fond of DANDY. If you know, you know.

One of the funniest, most talented and most prolific folks writing picture books today is @amedyckman.bsky.social Fortunately, she had the time to put ONE CAN BE in a New Jersey @littlefreelibrary.bsky.social. 39 states down, 11 to go. Yay, Ame! #onecanbe #50states #newjersey #megakidlit

I need a haircut. I Googled “SHORT WOLF.” Google gave me THIS.

Day 10 of #365PictureBooks DUCKIE & SNAPS (We Cannot Be Friends) @AmeDyckman.bsky.social & Tim Miller Super fun 2025 PB from humor all-star! Two hatchlings wonder if they can be friends when one is hungry… and the other looks like food! 👀 🐊 🐥

Bought a fancy potpourri for the holidays! The whole ride home, I thought about how GOOD our house was about to smell! Got home and discovered… A SKUNK had sprayed our house! 😳🦨😝😂😂😂! #MerryChristmas

*wild flailing* NEW JAGUAR NEW JAGUAR NEW JAGUAR

How do we have so many BUSTED rolls of gift-wrapping tape in our Christmas supplies? It’s like someone wrapping last year threw a GIANT TANTRUM and— Wait… I think that was ME. 😅😂!

I ain’t Dutch—but my baby is! 😂😋!

Portland residents in possession of a goose or duck should be aware that it is an infraction not to dress them in plaid with a little cap in the winter months. Penalty for noncompliance is in-person viewing of an entire city council meeting.

There’s NO WAY this sign is handmade.

Sign at the baking soda factory: ❌NO VINEGAR ALLOWED!❌ Not even in salad shakers! (This means YOU, Carol!)

When email Subject lines get cut off and you have to guess what the whole thing says. Today: 💻✉️: “WHY ARE MEN’S AND WOMEN’S BUTT—” ME: “Hee-hee! This is gonna be GOOD!” 💻✉️: “—ONS ON OPPOSITE SIDES?” ME: “Aw. Not where I thought they were goin’ with that…”

if you have ever taken photos of pigeons that are unique looking would you be willing to share them with me?

Of course they’re beautiful but You can be harassed By hummingbirds As you’re trying to refill Their feeder Like tiny winged cats Waiting for supper That can hover At eye-level Forever

In a dream a wild storm caused a brown dog to be carried out to sea. The beautiful creature swam until it found a large rock to climb upon and await rescue. How we cheered and cheered.

HAVE YOU SEEN THIS THREAD about a child’s stolen violin? Just awful. Please 👀 and pass it on! Hoping for a happy reunion! ❤️🎻! #kidlit @erinrew.bsky.social

TRUE FACT: All mammals get goosebumps. (Geese get goose goosebumps. 😂!)

WEIRD LITTLE PSA: It’s getting cold outside. If you keep chewing gum in your car, it’s getting cold, too. And cold gum is HARD gum! ASK ME HOW I KNOW! 😅😂💥🦷💥! (I’m totally fine. Was just “OW!” and SURPRISED! 😅😂!)

Read a poem this morning by a Real Poet who said she was raised Calvinist. At first, I felt a little Less Than. I wasn’t raised Calvinist. Don’t really know what being raised Calvinist means. Then I remembered: I was raised Calvinist AND Hobbes. *lifts chin confidently*

CATALOG: “This may be your last catalog!” ME: “It’s not.” CATALOG: “No, we mean it this time. This may ACTUALLY be YOUR LAST CATALOG!” ME: “Nope. I’ll be 100 years old, attempting Fonzie’s waterski-over-🦈s stunt, crash, die, get buried, & STILL get this catalog!” CATALOG:

The gazer.

Saw a roadside sign that read: “I BUY ALL COLLECTIBLES!” MY 🧠: “Well, that can’t be right. I mean, ALL collectibles? You’d run out of space. Like, 📞: ‘Hello, Storage City? Hi. I’d like to rent a unit. No, larger. LARGER. What do you have in a small planet? Yes, I’ll hold.’”

Husband Guy was taking out the trash last night when SUDDENLY this bunny in our yard SAT STRAIGHT UP ON ITS BACK LEGS, and in the light from the streetlight, its eyes GLOWED LIKE A MONSTER! So anyways, now I’m the one who has to take out the trash.