i love movies, the magic of the screen. and that most likely someone somewhere has gotten a blowie during a screening of Disclosure Day.

this Iran deal really has me riled UP. I think this is the one that will make me POLITICAL

my ratatouille rat (we) got laid off from our chef job so now we had to get a teamster job. And yes, i know it's funny that "a rat is driving me driving a truck," but please don't make fun of him in this economy my rat can only take so much

So I wanted to answer something bc my audience deserves it: yes, i have a little chef up there but he hasn't driven me for over a year due to the DUI

It's me. I've been ruining AI the whole time.

fouls? more like suk my bauls

i once got too high and posted on twitter thinking it was bluesky wait is it happening again oh okay we're good

quick while they're behind the moon, steal their astronaut wallets

This Thursday, March 26th at 5pm Pacific, @abeepp.bsky.social and I will be co-hosting a livestream celebrating the 1000th Small Beans Content Module! Join us (and NUMEROUS SURPRISE GUESTS) for chat, vids, and a look back at 8.167 years of bean-bein'. IT HERE - www.youtube.com/watch?v=jq99...

lol look at me fly

love when writing, blocking, direction, acting, editing, and lighting come together. could talk about how right-left and shot size makes a difference for days - Rocky (1976)

Sheev Palpatine will somehow return in Avengers: Doomsday

Sometimes there were one set of footprints, other times there was a set of footprints and a set of hand prints. So I asked the lord, "why when I needed you most, was there footprints and hand prints?" The lord replied: "Son, that is when I wheelbarrowed you."

New podcast out now! We are joined by @michaelswaim.bsky.social & @abeepp.bsky.social to help us review an episode that starts with Sea Captain looking for treasure & ends with Bart & Lisa exposing secrets of a sinister STEM school! Links in bio or search The Simpsons Index on the good podcast apps.

Me and @abeepp.bsky.social doing a pod together??? That's like that time George and Elaine hung out alone! This one is REALLY fun, so listen up, you precious freaks! www.patreon.com/posts/139001...

Honored to host @thatbilloakley.com on the latest SIMPSONS TAUGHT ME EVERYTHING! WHAT YOU KNOW He wrote steamed hams and many other eps! Also EP for years! Creator of Mission Hill! WHAT YOU DON'T Bizarre burgers! Unique regional foods! Hey remember The Mullets? www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZUeN...

SMALL BEANS TALK OVER MOVIES STARTS IN 20 MINUTES

Stephen King is America variety.com/2023/music/n...

is bae a thing? I just thought everyone was misspelling my name.

Oh dag we brought back movie night. better get your movie clothes on. www.patreon.com/posts/movie-...

I've got a lot of questions about how Small Beans was formed. I figured I'd show some early footage.

Had a great conversation with @abeepp.bsky.social about movies! www.youtube.com/watch?v=YY4d...

been calling people "sacks" for two days now and am happy to report that I called my therapist to tell them that I will no longer be needing their services

I can attest that this is Michael Swaim's love language. He is doing mouth love here.

if god were to ask me what's your best sunday, I'd probably say dunks and feel pretty good about it.

look, televised halftimes don't have to be what they are. we could come together and make them just wall to wall dunks

i simply do not know what a foul is (nba basketball)

BIG THANK YOU to the Kings Among Beans who helped Small Beans finally crack 1k reviews on the apple podcasting app. Rumor has it this is or was a delineation point that will get us served more, but algos change constantly so it could mean nothing! This diminishes the size of the THANKS not a whit.

the @michaelswaim.bsky.social Cracked retrospective made me realize in the comments that some folks had problems finding all 6 episodes of Marvels of the Science so I put together a playlist. They're like 2-4 minutes each. Enjoy. www.youtube.com/playlist?lis...

what if michael mann during Heat was like fuck it al pacino is robocop because we got close

I've never once flinched or winced at a joke so I guess no gag reflex

did borderlands win

what claim does your piety have on my deference

hell yeah this is my kind of spam

it's wild that mass media has commoditized "the system is broken." like pill ads that appeal to how food companies have poisoned you. your doom scrolling is justified. halftime shows about how america is broken. not wrong, just some serious whiplash.

i love when they come back to all the old guys from the halftime report after the halftime show but now they've taken their desk away.

i hope kendrick lamar's "surprise" for the halftime show is he just brings out eugene levy

there are two football ads: famous actor with cg terrifies you and "don't you love your family?"

Tomorrow on the patreon.com/smallbeans channel! It's the dead kids one!

Is it just me or is Burger King's most recent ad campaign where they just say "You Rule" at the end feel particularly dystopian. Like Idiocracy's "wecome to costco, i love you" levels.

Edwin Hubble segment from Cunk on Life

I don't know how it could win one but I do think its a catastrophe that the Edwin Hubble segment on Cunk on Life won't win an oscar for anything

*sung to the tune of Love in an Elevator by Aerosmith* "Work at an excavator! Lifting things up while you're sitting down."

ICYMI, we watched Pay it Forward and mostly talked about The Orville. The big takeaway is that we CAN fix the world, but at what cost?? Kevin was there, lightly Deadpooled. I'll be calling all angels to join us again next week, same place, same time! (Same movie? Perhaps!!!)

if you could insert a fart into any moment in any movie, what's the best movie fart?

maybe a threesome IS just what we need

secrets are tickles for the mind

yes officer we are not high

oops i'm a stinker