When you order bread and butter and it's all @lookingspiffy.bsky.social's fault for her toast manifesto

Breaking: The Olympic gold-winning U.S. women's hockey team DECLINES Trump's invitation to his State of the Union address after he was caught on video mocking them.

I desperately want strawberries now

Mangos and limes, which is weird because I like lime scented things. If there's a slice of lime in a drink I can taste it and it's the worst It could also just be maybe I am allergic to them both, but we will never know

My brother's pseudo in laws think it's unusual that I go on holiday on my own? I just want some me time in a warm place 😭 and to play Pokémon

I know I tap about my holiday a lot but I cannot wait oh god.

Woke up in the middle of the night and assumed it was Sunday morning, eternal disappointment when I realised it was Monday

I do one social thing and my body is like nope, gotta go sleep now It's .. nothing to do with the work stress honest

Why is Good Riddance Time Of Your Life one of the best songs ever, even if it's not about what people finishing school think it's about

There were more viewers of the curling last night than Britain’s Got Talent.

OMG if you google various Olympics phrases a big cartoon wolf-dog runs across your screen (seems to work for some search terms and not others)

Mild shampoo double cleansing is heavenly for my hair

USING STICKERS

Congratulate me for completing basic tasks

I just don't want to work today

Don't WhatsApp me after 9pm for work stuff istg

Happy 12-year anniversary to my favourite broadcast subtitle mistake And a happy year of the whores to you all

My face when my morning meetings go on until 11:30

Me: this BBQ man will be confounded by the souffle pancakes Me: wait, he REALISED he was going to get a sweet skills test

Eyes twitching at my coworker already

In three weeks I will be at Katie's and zoo. In four weeks, I will be significantly closer to the equator

what if restarted zelda again

Boy paper

It's VR concert day

Medal yessss

Peppy no

Paddy has become cryptidog

So many regret

Is 2am too late for a bagel, asking for a friend

I have accidentally gone past the limits of eepy

Pros of reading fics you bookmarked but cannot remember: it is amazing reading and having no idea where it is going Cons: you cry over the sad bits

@carlyjayjepsen.bsky.social why is that last repost not HAROverload

Suddenly Hockey

The first British hockey player to win three Olympic medals

Almost a specialist topic for Pointless final, and regrettably I only got two Pointless answers

Finished my performance review and sort of Melted into a heap on the sofa

Pritories, pre performance review pancakes

I can’t stop laughing about “and from New Jersey”

In four weeks I will be going to the airport 😌

[📷] @nasa instagram update "Shoot for the starts like 📸" 🔗 instagram.com/p/DUleCeykrlF/ #ATEEZ #에이티즈

It's nice to have a third judge on MasterChef Professionals who sounds like he knows what he's on about Besides the obvious I mean

.... Biathlon is messy

I love toast

What do you mean, LONDON

But Sainsbury's also have a very nice raspberry ice lolly

No you just ordered a bunch of smoothies on deliveroo because you feel shit

Having the dawning revelation that I am probably depressed and should be better with meds

also get the camera off her when she's still lying down howling in pain

that felt a little inevitable

I need cuddles