Sentences I never ever thought I would write: ITALY WIN BY TEN WICKETS

Since the Italian football team won the world cup in 2006, their cricket team has now won exactly the same number of world cup games: One.

Half tempted to put a fiver on Italy beating England.

I know that when it comes to the wedding speeches which I now rely on to put food on the table, it’s AI that has pretty much pulled the rug from under my feet. I offer an ‘AI fix” for under a hundred quid for people who go down that route and come unstuck. You adapt, get your head down and hope.

I'm convinced AI is our generation's radium - a discovery with genuinely useful applications in specific, controlled circumstances that we stupidly put in everything from kid's toys to toothpaste until we realised the harm far too late where future generations will ask if we were out of our minds.

If anyone had any doubt that the referees think that the game is theirs, well, now you know. Just nonsense.

After sacking off this afternoon's snooker because of back pain, this is humbling.

Lindsey Vonn is out here skiing in the Olympics without an ACL meanwhile I’ve been putting off assembling the standing desk I bought 7 months ago because my Phillips head screwdriver wasn’t in the very first drawer I checked

winter olympics the superior olympics imo

trending checks out

Nothing has highlighted just how technically illiterate the senior business management and political classes are right now as the whole AI thing. Just an entire generation of "leaders" incapable of spotting a bad sales pitch because of some woo woo tech words that sound cool.

I wrote this song on Saturday, recorded it yesterday and released it to you today in response to the state terror being visited on the city of Minneapolis. It’s dedicated to the people of Minneapolis, our innocent immigrant neighbors and in memory of Alex Pretti and Renee Good. Stay free

Copilot you humourless swine.

THIS is the Lambton illustration to end them all:

Dressing as a stork would be a clear indicator of a midwife crisis.

That one lucky but decisive punch to Biff Tannen seems a long way away.

Whichever official was telling Senegal to leave the pitch - He'll probably be a bit quiet in the post-match knees-up. #AFCON #SENMAR

Justice done. No-one came out well at all. Brahim Díaz - what a massive dickhead. The most incredible arrogance that has ever been seen on a football pitch. #afcon

I assume Diana Ross is trending. #AFCON

This photo was taken in 1911 using glass plate technology by Herbert Ponting who was part of Scott's Antarctic expedition, The composition and detail are exquisite with the band of white snow/ice creating a perfect frame around the two people and the ship in the distance Iconic imo

Quite a good insult for humans as well, I reckon: "He thinks he's a big deal but when it comes right down to it he's nothing more than organised water."

Robert Jenrick is like someone who was planning to leave his wife for his mistress but got kicked out first and had to turn up at his mistress's house in the middle of the night with a suitcase pretending it was his decision

SPORTbible clearly couldn’t draw a Welsh flag for Neville Southall.

A man whose word can be relied on.

Nadim Zahawi arrived in the UK from Iraq as a child refugee. His family claimed asylum once they were here. Today he has joined Reform who will stop all in country asylum applications. Under his new party, his own family fleeing persecution would be immediately deported.

Trump’s obsession with Canada and Greenland is probably just because of the Mercator projection

Julie Andrews’ Daily Schedule. 1. Quick Homer Simpson impression 2. Learn about bushcraft 3. Watch silly British comedy 4. Remove weeds in garden 5. Begin making coffee flavoured bread D’oh, Ray Mears, Farce, Hoe, Latte dough.

I'm willing to be that Infantino is so securely fastened up his own arse that he doesn't give a phantom of a fuck what that prize looks like, then or now.

Remember in Love Actually, Hugh Grant's speech to the US president? Simpering, meek, almost apologetic in its Englishness. Right now we'd kill for a PM with that level of defiance.

“Trump cares more about running another country than this one. He’s spending money on them, not your health care.”

men are way too emotional to be president

Chris Rea's mainstream stuff I can take or leave, but his blues stuff is brilliant. Particularly this box set, which I got two Christmases ago, each disc with his own original music covering a different apsect of the blues. www.discogs.com/release/6583...

Spooner's career as a continuity announcer was short-lived

#AUSvENG #Ashes

Made up for Sunderland. Feel sorry for horses though.

What a beautiful towering header from Nick Woltermade!!! But why have they given the goal to Sunderland?! 🤔

Here’s a poem called ‘An Invention of Collective Nouns’.

Get the aloe vera out for this SAVAGE burn 🔥

Played this with my 4-yo niece once. She was thinking of a cat. When I asked "Does it have four legs?", she walked over to her own cat, counted and confidently replied "Yes".

One of the many reasons AI can't produce good writing is it can't hate its own writing. It can't think to itself "Maybe I'm illiterate" during the writing process. And that's essential

Thoroughly enjoying the draw for the 1998 World Cup

Death, Taxes, Scotland v Brazil.

Shirts are strange. Your body goes in one hole and comes out three.

This is extraordinary.

🎶I'm dreaming of a White Blackness....🎶

Your annual reminder that the most revealing difference between Irish and Scottish Gaelic is definitely in the words for December: Mí na Nollag (Month of Christmas) in Ireland, and An Dubhlachd (the Blackness) in Scotland. So once again may I wish you all a lovely Blackness.

There needs to be a extra circle of hell for people who allow adverts in the middle of any classical music piece on Youtube. Especially in the middle of a movement.

I’ve seen enough rom-coms to know that Jeremy Corbyn and Zarah Sultana get married in the end.