TBF St Helen's should be sin-binned wholesale for that kit.

England just not good enough here, but that Umpire review for Ecclestone's catch was abysmal. Good thing Charlie Dean stepped in or the Umpire might have been driven through mid-on.

Not allowing myself to start the beer or snacks until first ball is bowled. This is will be a long 12 minutes.

Women’s use of AI is perceived as a sign of incompetence, while men’s use of AI is seen as an indication of initiative. 🤦🏻‍♂️

Given the right carry-on I had earlier this year to get either 111 or 999 to take me at all seriously, I'm not gonna have any confidence in this.

DEFINITION OF THE DAY Al Pacino, n. 1. A small variety of alpaca; 2. A coffee drink with muesli in it.

Hydration Break

Hydration Break

88 World Cup games gone, and we've not done a last 16 game yet. 32-game tournaments only have 64 games.

Giuseppe is no longer the coolest Verd(i/e)

Hydration break

Grateful to the Telegraph for providing the definitive answer to its own question, albeit in quite small letters.

Hydration Break

Dropped faster than a Nathan Lyon almost-run-out at Headingly.

That's about as good a reason as you'll find for making the appointment.

One reason I'll always have respect for Sean Dyche is that when he was captain of Chesterfield and they played Boro in an FA Cup semi, they got a penalty but had no recognised takers. So as captain he stepped up. Scored. And yes, they were robbed that day (but watch the highlights. What a game).

That Aussie wot got subbed:

This doesn't bode well for marginal VAR offside calls.

Australia-Egypt is a great matchup bc a lot of the ancient Egyptian gods made out of 3 animals grafted together are actually naturally occurring animals in Australia

Hydration Break

England Football on Sunday now set to start at 7pm. About the same time as Cricket World Cup finishes. GET THE SNACKS IN!!!!

The masseurs against thick glasses (copyright Viz letters page) #totp

A reminder for Sunday, that although the final is on Sky, it is available to free to air on Sky Mix, as well as the Sky Sports app without a subscription. Should you so wish, Sky will also make Hindi commentary available 🤭 🏏 #T20WorldCup

Great fielding and bowling from England. SA given very chaseable total but won't be happy getting nowhere near it.

South Africa burning reviews like Laurence Fox's agent.

Jacqui Smith's disco naps are the worst, You'll be knackered and you'll think you've been cursed, The idea is a massive pile of crap, JACQUI SMITH'S....DISCO NAPS!

The commentators apparently can't believe what they were suggesting might happen since the last goal.

Venus and Serena, or as they're collectively known, the Tennisy Williams

Thank you so much for all of your happy birthday wishes. Honestly, I don’t really feel 100. I feel pretty good. I feel like I’m only 98!

Every Arsenal Invincibles game against Boro, then.

Hydration Break

Hydration Break

Scandi double tonight, please, Sverige.

"You couldn't write the script...who else to deliver the winner?" So yeah, you could write the script, with that level of predictability. An idiot could write that script. AI would definitely write that script.

Hydration Break

Infantino does sound like one of those starter hot drinks they let ParkRun mums give little Isambard in coffee shops.

Hydration Break

I feel like she, specifically, should know better

"Keep, ancient lands, your storied pomp!" cries she With silent lips. "Give me your tired, your poor, Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free, The wretched refuse of your teeming shore. Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me, I lift my lamp beside the golden door!"

This was bad enough without me reading "Streamer" as "Starmer".

When you get the Meta sales push at the opticians, just slowly raise your phone and point the camera at the sales person for the entire interaction. You don’t have to tell them why, you don’t have to tell them whether you’re filming or not. Just keep pointing it at them.

You want a flake in that love?

NEVER WRITE OFF THE ah fuck it you won't listen anyway.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Voltemade

PELANTIES! </ChrisWaddle>

That should be a red.

Nick Voldemort about to come on, yet another Sunderland scorer making an appearance in this World Cup.

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Kai Havertz and let slip the dogs of war!

Andy Burnham announces a new minister for The North.